Practical Advice Needed Please
98jdougl
Forumite 1.2K Posts
Hi guys,
So to get right to the point - I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant
I have only been officially with my partner for 2 months (friends for about a year first) and this was completely unplanned. I don't know what it was but on my way into work yesterday I just suddenly thought that I should take a test. I did 2 and they both came out positive.
I told my partner and he said that he will stand by me and support me no matter what my choice is. I don't want to get rid of it so it looks like I'm going to become a mum soon!
I'm usually a very practical minded and organised person but I had never planned this so feel really out of my depth - with anything else right now I would be making lists of what needed done but I don't know where to begin!
Any help/advice for me guys??
Jo
So to get right to the point - I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant
I have only been officially with my partner for 2 months (friends for about a year first) and this was completely unplanned. I don't know what it was but on my way into work yesterday I just suddenly thought that I should take a test. I did 2 and they both came out positive.
I told my partner and he said that he will stand by me and support me no matter what my choice is. I don't want to get rid of it so it looks like I'm going to become a mum soon!
I'm usually a very practical minded and organised person but I had never planned this so feel really out of my depth - with anything else right now I would be making lists of what needed done but I don't know where to begin!
Any help/advice for me guys??
Jo
0
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Take yourself to the doctors have confirmation , if you can take a day to yourself just to absorb what's going on .
And of course then you get practical , have you space at home will you have to go somewhere bigger
Most of all ENJOY !!
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#1. I recommend you buy the Birth Book by Dr Sears: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Birth-Book-Sears-Parenting-Library/dp/0316779075/
Or any other birth/pregnancy book that appeals to you.
Draw up a list of all the questions you want to ask your healthcare professionals. Shortlist your local hospitals and/or home-birth options. Plan a "hospital bag" of all the things you'll need for the birth and the first 24 hours. (This is essentially the same whether you have a hospital birth or home-birth).
#2. Either pick up a store catalogue from a shop that sells baby equipment (e.g. Mothercare, Boots), buy a "baby" magazine or google for "(newborn) baby checklist". Use one of their lists to compile your own list of essential items for you and baby. (E.g. if you have a hospital birth then you'll need a car seat to take baby home!)
#3. Start thinking about potential baby names and drawing up shortlists.
Lots of lists to get you started.
Finally, if you are interested in either home births or private obstetrics, now is a good time to investigate your options - don't leave it to the last minute. A NHS home birth requires your GP/midwife to decide you are "low risk" and 2 midwives to attend the birth. Private obstetrics will cost the same, no matter at what point in the pregnancy your antenatal care commences. And it's important that you choose a midwife, doula and/or obstetrician that you like! Even if you use NHS care, you are entitled to switch midwives if you really don't get on with one of them - they often operate as a team, so you should like some of them even if you don't get on with one individual. Some antenatal tests aren't available on the NHS, so you may want to consider private options e.g. nuchal screening test (baby), GBS test (you). Seems to depend on what part of the country you live in...
Oh, and congratulations on your pregnancy!
Too much information too soon will freak you out. Yes buy a baby book, Babycentre.co.uk have a really good app that sends weekly updates so not to much info at once. It also tells you the size of your little nugget in relation to fruit and veg which calms the nerves.
If money is a worry you can always buy stuff as you need things. As long as you have the essentials you will be fine.
-Get some vitamins that include folic acid and start taking them.
-Phone the GP and ask what the procedure is in your area for getting booked in with a midwife. They might offer a dating scan if you're not completely sure when your last period was, otherwise, they will get you in for a booking appointment at around 8 weeks.
-Start putting away a little bit of money (as much as you can comfortably afford) in a savings account every week/month, so you don't feel panicky about money later on.
Otherwise, give yourself and your OH a bit of time to get used to the idea. You will be pregnant for a long time before you have to worry about the practicalities of having a baby around, and there is plenty of time for lists of things you need, names etc, and you will probably change your mind about a hundred times about everything on the list anyway!
Congratulations (and the yuckiness and tiredness do go away for most people in a few weeks, you won't feel bad forever)
What's important right now is looking after you - getting your head round it and listening to what your body needs be it sleep, pot noodles or being close to the toilet!
Get to your GP and in the system for appointments/scans etc. You'll send yourself into panic mode if you start worrying about what you need in your hospital bag, as one poster suggested.
Most people wait till their 12 week scan before telling anyone else and to begin planning ahead as this is when the likelihood of miscarriage drops significantly.
Join up on the MSE pregnancy threads, really good for sharing experiences, advice, financial tips etc
And I totally agree about enjoying the moment! Wow congratulations! I have three children, I'm now a single parent and I'm so grateful and glad I have them! Best thing in the world....and that's coming from someone who had never even held a baby till I had mine lol...
It's hard work, but the rewards are breathtaking. Enjoy the journey. Xx
I would recommend joining a pregnancy forum, eg mumsnet / emma's diary. I joined one and it was my life line! I am still very good friends (in real life too lol) with some of the mums-to-be I met 4 years ago now.
Buggies, hospital bags, baby's room......that can all wait
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join all the baby clubs you can - think there are links on the discount voucher first page. you may only get a few freebies from some - but every little helps!
Maybe not yet, but something to consider is using ebay, car boots or NCT sales to help you purchase any items which you require.
great tip given about putting away any of your wages which you can, your maternity leave will be here before you know xx