Advice on how to proceed with bullying problem at work desperately needed!!

zzzLazyDaisy

No offence to OP, but we do only have one side to this story.

The shop owner is aware of the allegations, having received a few complaints from OP. She also works with the woman concerned, and presumably knows at least some of the customers who come into the shop. The point I am making is that the shop owner appears to have ample opportunity to weigh up the situation, yet has chosen to do nothing about this employee.

Yes the female employee may be spiteful, vicious, threatening, dishonest etc.

OR, it might be that OP is very sensitive and reads more into situations than they merit.

Whatever, one thing worth mentioning is with regard to OP's wish to see this colleague sacked, which he has said a couple of times. OP you have no right to demand this, the employer is entitled to run the business in the way the see fit. If that makes your position untenable, you have to decide what you are going to do about it, but it would seem from the employer's conduct to date, that it is unlikely that the other employee is facing dismissal any time soon.

teabelly

Mojisola wrote: »

She "shouldn't" but she can. If she weighs her personal safety and the future of her business against keeping one unpleasant employee in place, she could easily decide against involving the police.

I thought the OP had also been threatened?? The boss can't stop the OP from making it a police matter.

karmaqween

Hi, I agree with so many of the responses here, Hon, We can only look in from the outside of course and have no direct understanding of how affected you are within this situation. Your confidence has been knocked and your health has suffered. It is that, that matters most.

This is not a war unless you make it one, the stress you will suffer in making it a war, will most likely deteriorate your health further. Walk away, know that you tried, do not say "I failed", because you did not, The Boss failed to do her job properly and protect her employee and the girl whom is the bully has failed to be a person of decency.

As for others telling you of what was said about you, tell them (as someone else here has stated) I do not care what she says about me and I would rather not know.

If you suffer with or, have suffered with anxiety and depression? then think of yourself, the only way to win here is to walk away, sedatives are not the answer and will become a flawed hope of a cure never to happen. Medically, you need a time out and a friend to talk to, emotional distress has never been cured by chemicals nor by trying to battle a war that the other side refuses to back down.

It may not be true perceptively? but, pride will get you no where, move on and away, put it down to experience, learn what you can for your next placement. You have a right to be happy where you work and a right to your health, you cannot change others, only you can change yourself for that to happen. There is more strength in that than you think.
Good Luck, Take care of only you and, leave others in the past where they belong

cavework

OP I am sorry I seemed so hard on you but only you can change the situation you now find yourself in. It may not be of your making but all the time you are spending on this situation is stopping you from moving on.
You are the only one who can control how or what happens in your life.
If things are not going the way you want , then you have to change them, no one else can do this for you.
You TC and grab life by the ****..
Good luck
xxx

eamon

When you do escape wait a month or two and file an anonymous report with HMRC and don't forget to name names. But for heavens sake don't do it whilst still employed there or waiting on any paperwork.
Revenge is a dish best served cold!

NiceGuyFinishingLast

Thanks everyone for the advice and support. Ive take onboard everything thats been said, and I think the best thing I can do is just ride it out until I can find a new job, the stresses and strains of getting some justice and the stain on my CV just wouldnt be worth it. Except I have a new problem now..

After a good 8 days off, I have been able to put everything in perspective, and feel a lot better, in no small part thanks to all of you, so I got in touch with my boss stating that I would like to return to work on friday 11th Jan, and that my Doctor has declared me fit for work from that date. She said "no"!
"I will have to speak to you about returning to work on friday as I am not happy about you returning unless you are 100% fit to do so. I will be in touch shortly"
That was a text I had on monday. Later that day I asked when she would get in touch, she replied
" I am awaiting a response to some procedural questions. I will get back to you asap".
What on earth is she playing at? Also, she refused to pay me out of my accrued holidays to make up for the time off unpaid, which I believe is a choice I have a right to make?
After a lot of contemplation, I had made the decision, for the sake of my health, to just draw a line under everything and just get on with things, and now I am being hindered in my desire to return to normality! Any advice? Or can anyone give some idea what she's up to?

zzzLazyDaisy

By Friday, will your current fit note (used to be called sick note) have expired?

If so, and provided that your GP hasn't issued another one, then you are fit for work, there is no requirement for the GP to sign you back as fit for work.

If the current fit note will still be on going on friday, then you must ask your GP to sign you back as fit for work, as she is not obliged to allow you back when you have a valid fitnote.

If yo are fit for work and she refuses to allow you to return, then that is a medical suspension and you are entitled to full pay. If she refuses to pay you during the time that she is not allowing you to return to work, that is an unlawful deduction from wages.

BUT, you need to be clear about this. Do not get into a 'he said, she said' scenario. So if she has not formally written to you and told you that you must not return to work, you need to pre-empt that in writing.

So you just need to drop a letter into work (or send an email) saying:

Further to our recent conversation, this note is just to confirm that my current fit note expires on [date]. My GP has confirmed that I will be fit for work by then, and accordingly I will return to work on 'date'.

Hope this helps and keep checking in.

D

NiceGuyFinishingLast

Thanks Daisy. Yes, my gp signed me off up to and including thursday, so I am officially 100% fit for work on friday, and have informed my boss of that. Im still waiting to hear if she'll let me back, she said she'd let me know by tomorrow. Had never heard of medical suspension, so a big thanks for that. Its a relief to know that if she doesnt let me back when Im declared fit for work, then at least she still has to pay me. I will write her an email/letter as you suggest, and let you know how I get on. Thanks again!

NiceGuyFinishingLast

Ok, so I had an email this evening from my boss.

She stated that before I can return to work, she will need permission from me to be granted a medical report from my GP to establish my fitness for work! This, despite having my own and my GP's statement that I am indeed fit for work (I wrote that email, stating 'I am fit for work as of friday 11th jan' etc, and I also have a fit note from my GP agreeing with this). Surely thats all she needs?

I'm not sure I'd be happy to allow access to my medical records or even just a specific report on my depression and anxiety. Can she ask this of me under these circumstances? I know employers can seek permission to see medical records before employment, if its relevant to the job being offered. Or if an employee has been off for months and months, to assess capability. Surely not for a 10 day absence, the first such absence in over 2 years? She said its out of 'concern for my welfare', and to avoid any future detriment to her business, i.e. me calling in sick again.

She already has all the info she needs to decide on my capabilty for work (which shouldnt even be a consideration in my opinion, as apart from this last week and a half, I have never demonstrated any cause for concern, and have declared, truthfully, and categorically that I am fit for work. As has my GP). I wish I had just lied and said I had the flu or something, my candour and honesty with my boss appears to have backfired somewhat...

I'm genuinely shocked, and confused. I know I have the right to refuse her access to such a report, but would that entitle her to sack me on capability grounds? After a mere 10 days off? (this sort of request is reserved for the long-term sick, isnt it?).

I wonder if she realises that if I agree to this, I would be allowed up to 21 days to check the report before my GP sends it to her, and that throughout this time she would have to pay me in full on medical suspension....hmmm, I'm begining to wonder if she's a complete idiot. As much as a month or so off on medical suspension with full pay appeals to me, I'd much rather just get back to work, in spite of the evil witch I started this thread about.

Any thoughts or info on where I stand with this would be greatly appreciated. I know Im sucking up a lot of forum space and peoples time with all this, but its been really helpful so far. Thanks :-)

zzzLazyDaisy

Okay don't panic. Under the Access to Medical Records Act 1988 the employer is entitled to ask for a medical report from your GP. That is perfectly okay. They have to provide you with information about your rights. But basically all you have to do is to sign to say you agree to them obtaining a medical report from your GP and that you do not need to see the report before it is sent to the employer.

THEN

You need to write to your GP to say that your employer will be asking for a medical report and you need an appointment to discuss this matter BEFORE s/he sends the report to the employer (you can change your mind at any time about the medical report, so this is fine).

In the meantime, you are entitled to be paid for the period that the employer refuses to allow you to return to work after your fit note has expired.