Any advice for a couple moving in together

marisco_2

Hi OP,

What an exciting time for you and your boyfriend. I can understand the slight jitters you are feeling, moving in with someone can seem like a big step, even when you have done it before.

I think you are being very wise to set up a joint account for all the bills. How you decide to split the percentage of what you pay into this is up to you both.

I have all my bills set up on direct debit from one account. Paying by direct debit enables me to recieve small discounts from my utility companies. By keeping this account seperate from my spends account I also dont dib into money that is reserved to pay the bills. Takes alot of stress out of everything.

You know each other better than anyone else of course but have you discussed things like the weekly shop. Do you have similar tastes and ideas, such as can you both cook from scratch. If the place you are moving into has a freezer you could batch cook and freeze it, saving you both loads of time and energy overall.

I would recommend having your own single accounts as well once all the household expenses and food has been covered. It is nice to have a little bit of independance over your finances. I wish you both all the best and hope you enjoy moving in together.

slicence

Wow,

Thanks all! I didn't expect to get such a wealth of advice! In fact, as I've had no internet connection all day, I feel bad for not being more interactive!

I'm really grateful for the advice, and know it's ultimately down to the relationship we have at the moment, but it's good to have some suggestions from lots of different people

I suppose I try not to think too much about where things are going, but this one's a keeper, so I think a joint account is the right thing to do. Does anyone have an idea on the best ones around, or would a normal current account do? In fact, I'm thinking of a joint account for bills for now, but I love the idea of a joint savings account for holidays and eventually a mortgage, eeek! I don't think we'll get married, mostly because we're both atheists and the idea of a wedding scares the hell out of me, but I believe we can have that commitment without the Church's approval

I'm so grateful for the ideas, and of course we're going to discuss everything openly before even deciding on a budget!

We're both thrifty, I don't think a 'normal person' would put up with my money saving madness!

Thanks again guys

*hugs*

Errata

I don't think we'll get married, mostly because we're both atheists and the idea of a wedding scares the hell out of me

In that case your finances need to be bullet proof, watertight, bomb proof, and most importantly - domestic war proof.

slicence

kettlenic wrote: »

I would suggest opening a seperate account and setting all bills to direct debit from there - each month you bot pay into this account. dont forget quarterly bills etc and to accrue that money etc

its is up to you if you want to go 50/50 depends if you can both afford it or if one really out earns the other you may consider doing a %

This is exactly what I was thinking to start with. Happy to know I was on the right track

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

.

When we bought a property together, we signed a living together agreement, drawn up via the solicitors to ensure the split of the property would be 30/70 should we ever split up

If I could give you a huge thanks I would. I never knew such an agreement existed!

kansaskitty wrote: »

It seems like you've got lots of ideas from this thread so I hope you're feeling in a better position about what to do! :j Good luck hunting for a place with your boyf!

KK xxx

I certainly have! Thank you so much, it's made me a lot more comfortable suggesting these things

Errata wrote: »

The only thing I would suggest is doing a thorough risk assessment which covers when what happens in response to all the 'what ifs'.
For example, what if you lose your job, or he loses his. Who pays what then, how, and can they?

Ohhh, I never thought of this. This is great advice. Thank you so much

VfM4meplse wrote: »

If you're financially in the same page, it's a good place to start. If your attitudes to expenditure are radically different, I would be worried because it's always going to be an albatross. It's much easier to live a nice life if you share the same financial goals, and money is not a concern.

He is great, we have similar spending habits, a similar financial background, and we have the same goals. Hooray!

And the cleaning is already sorted, as I spend most of the time at his house anyway! I'm not worried about the living together bits, just some of the money things

xx

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

slicence

Errata wrote: »

In that case your finances need to be bullet proof, watertight, bomb proof, and most importantly - domestic war proof.

Haha! At this point, there's going to be one month's rent, and enough to pay the bills only in the shared account

xx

Errata

slicence wrote: »

Haha! At this point, there's going to be one month's rent, and enough to pay the bills only in the shared account

xx

So what happens if you leave in 2 months time, or he does? Who pays the rent, which your are both individually responsible for.

Mojisola

slicence wrote: »

I don't think we'll get married, mostly because we're both atheists and the idea of a wedding scares the hell out of me, but I believe we can have that commitment without the Church's approval

A wedding is a legal agreement. There's no need to involve any religious thinking in it.

If you are going to be together long term, at least look at the possibility. There are legal and financial advantages.

If you don't, you need to make other arrangements - wills, next of kin agreements, etc.

ruby-roo_2

slicence wrote: »

Does anyone have an idea on the best ones around, or would a normal current account do?

The best thing to do is to get out there and have a look at what is on offer. A normal current account would suffice. However some accounts offer extras that may be valuable to you dependant on your lifestyles.

Have either of you done a recent credit check with Experian or the like? If you are thinking of applying for a mortgage in a few years time it might be a good idea to do one and see where your levels are. They offer advice on how a credit score can be improved, all very useful when wanting to borrow money in the future.

penguingirl

My OH earns more than me (although not that much more, but was a bigger difference when we first moved in together). We transfer a monthly amount into the joint account for all 'spends' (bills, mortgage, groceries, joint treats) plus have joint savings. We each pay for our own cars, petrol, lunches and clothes, although we're not very precious about what the other person includes in grocery shopping (items of clothing, birthday cards/ presents). We each have our own savings (his are about double mine), but as we have an offset mortgage with all our accounts linked this feels ok- i.e. it doesn't matter what pot money is in, it's all helping with the mortgage.

Brighton_belle

slicence wrote: »

I don't think we'll get married, mostly because we're both atheists and the idea of a wedding scares the hell out of me, but I believe we can have that commitment without the Church's approval

Slightly off topic but had to pick up on this -
'Marriage' is not an exclusively christian word...it's just a word in the english language.
It is possible to have a quick simple and beautiful little wedding without any reference to the church or god. We did. That's what registry offices are for.
You can be an atheist and believe in a legally binding committment to love and cherish each other:D