Any advice for a couple moving in together

Goldiegirl

We've always had joint accounts right from the beginning.

All our money goes into our joint bank account, and all expenditure comes out of the account.

We share our lives so we share our money - it's ours, not his and hers.

We talk about most expenditure, but if I see something I want while I'm out, I would go ahead and buy it from our joint account (not a major purchases, but clothes or something like that)

Joint accounts seem easier to me. I would find it too complicated to have to divide things up, and say 'you pay the gas' and 'I'll pay the phone bill'.

CupOfChai

I don't think I'd want a joint account with someone unless we say had a joint mortgage and/or were married. I don't find it that complicated at all to divvy it up.

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Lol - like the belief that toilets clean themselves :rotfl:

And the belief in the dishes fairy?

claire16c

daisiegg wrote: »

We don't either and we'ee nearly married!

OH earns about twelve times as much as me. He pays the mortgage and the utility bills, I pay a bit of money into his account towards this each month. I pay the phone, TV and Internet. He pays pretty much everything else, the rest of my money (not a huge amount as I only work part time) is mine to do what I want with.

I'm not really sure why we don't have a joint account. We don't really need one...I can't really think of a good reason to get one...

I can't imagine not having one mainly because I don't want to spend my time talking about who owes who what & working out splitting up bills when if you have a joint account everything just goes in & out & no time spent on that.

It's probably easier for you if he's paying for most things but for people who split stuff it would be more annoying.

Before we got married I was sick of going online & transferring money about.

Plus now we are married it would just seem weird. I don't see how you can owe your husband or wife money.

daisiegg

claire16c wrote: »

I can't imagine not having one mainly because I don't want to spend my time talking about who owes who what & working out splitting up bills when if you have a joint account everything just goes in & out & no time spent on that.

It's probably easier for you if he's paying for most things but for people who split stuff it would be more annoying.

Before we got married I was sick of going online & transferring money about.

Plus now we are married it would just seem weird. I don't see how you can owe your husband or wife money.

We never spend any time talking about who owes who what....the direct debits come out of his account, I have a standing order set up that pays a little bit to him each month, and that's it - we don't have to think about it. No one ever 'owes' the other one anything.

But you're right, it must be easier because he is paying for most things. I would imagine if we were splitting more equally (which is unlikely to ever happen as his earnings should rise and mine may disappear if we have a baby!) we'd have to think of a different system.

We may well open a joint account when we get married...I don't have a clue how it would work though! It just somehow feels like we 'should' if we are married but I'm not sure why :rotfl:

claire16c

daisiegg wrote: »

We never spend any time talking about who owes who what....the direct debits come out of his account, I have a standing order set up that pays a little bit to him each month, and that's it - we don't have to think about it. No one ever 'owes' the other one anything.

But you're right, it must be easier because he is paying for most things. I would imagine if we were splitting more equally (which is unlikely to ever happen as his earnings should rise and mine may disappear if we have a baby!) we'd have to think of a different system.

We may well open a joint account when we get married...I don't have a clue how it would work though! It just somehow feels like we 'should' if we are married but I'm not sure why :rotfl:

Yes exactly if you earned similar amounts it would be very different so you're in a somewhat unusual situation.

I guess if your earnings disappear because of a baby that might be exactly when the joint account might arise?

I guess with the marriage thing it's because it would seem odd to be paying your own spouse?

PenguinOfDeath

We still have out own current accounts (and ISAs as back ups), when we moved in together I changed my 'other' current account to a joint one - helpfully it turned out we got our mortgage with the same institution! All the bills and household expenditure come out of there including groceries, we pay for things like work travel expenses individually.
We pay in fairly similar amounts to the joint as we earn a similar wage atm, when this changes the we will probably keep a similar amounts to ourselves and put more into the joint to pay for more holidays

cheepskate_2

One peice of advice i would give is.......................Before taking relationship advice, check out how long they have been happily married.
No point in taking advice from someone who goes through partners like hot dinners.

For us, We pool all monies, bills are paid, then we just take what we need , as and when it is needed. We have never bothered who has earnt more/less than the other. We are a family unit, not 2 separate units living together.

VfM4meplse

cheepskate wrote: »

For us, We pool all monies, bills are paid, then we just take what we need , as and when it is needed. We have never bothered who has earnt more/less than the other. We are a family unit, not 2 separate units living together.

This wouldn't work if one partner liked to live beyond their means, and the other was frugal.

74jax

We went out for 6 years before moving in.

On moving in we split the bills so he pays two thirds and I pay a third. We each pay this into a joint account (though actually in my name).

He has his own account and savings as do I. He earns quadruple what I do, if we were more even we might have joint accounts, I don't know.

We spoil each other and surprise each other with holidays, presents etc not sure how we could do that with one account.

We don't 'owe' each other, or keep a tally, he tends to take the lead on paying buts not really an issue.

krlyr

VestanPance wrote: »

You'll get a hundred different answers to your question and none in truth are right or wrong.

The only thing that will work for you is to sit down with your partner and talk through how you both would like to see things arranged financially. As long as the two of you can agree on a system that you are both happy with then you are good. Take note of suggestions offered here if you will, but what ever you do it needs to be something you both agree with.

Exactly. I think it can depend on situation as well as your personal preference/feelings too. For example, my OH moved in 4 months after we become 'official' - only about 5 months after meeting. We were serious, i.e. saw each other every day, planned our schedules around each other and so on, but not really longterm at that stage. Joint bank accounts didn't even come into my thoughts and I doubt his either. Being realistic, linking my finances officially to someone at that stage would have been a big step I wouldn't have been prepared to do at the time.
"Moving in together" doesn't necessarily reflect such a seriousness as getting married - in our situation it was done quite soon for a variety of reasons, such as the nature of OH's job, that I had dogs so had to be at home a lot for them, the fact OH was looking at renting a place with friends but ultimately he'd have been paying for a room in a house yet staying at mine 80% of the time and so on. Plus the fact I rented a house with my brother and his girlfriend made it a bit less formal I suppose - he was moving in with us, rather than just with me. And also that's why it made sense for him to pay the same as me - we split everything 4 ways, so him moving in saved me money anyway, without needing to ask him to pay in proportion to his earnings. Had we been moving into a new place that was more expensive for me than my living situation, it may have been more necessary for him to contribute more than me - it may have literally been a case of him paying the difference or me not being able to move in because I didn't have the money spare.

Not to mention any decision you make now doesn't necessarily have to be permanent. Maybe keep finances separately and work things 50:50 (if that's affordable for you) and see how you feel about it. If it begins to feel unfair, maybe the proportions need to be adjusted to make it fairer. If it feels right, get a joint bank account in the future. Relationships change over time and so can your financial setup.