Gambling

HappyMJ

onlyroz wrote: »

If he isn't actually addicted to gambling then perhaps you could direct him towards match betting (see the sub-forum on this site) where he might actually be able to make some money for the household.

LOL....I can see major problems with that. Matched betting is not suitable for anyone who actually likes gambling. Oh...I'll just let the qualifying bet of £100 on Arsenal against Southhampton at odds of 1.80 ride (Jan 1st 2013)...I won't lay it...It's a sure bet...They'll win. No chance. As soon as you don't lay a bet the team doesn't win and you're down a lot of money.

LTP123

That's sort of how he started, people at work egged him on to take free first bet and we are down £450. For those that say its not much, DD goes nowhere, petrol too dear, panto was too dear, zoo is too dear. Swimming is considered purchase told me if we could get there in petrol we'd be ok but same day spent another £40 on bets.

Tamsin_Temrin

Is it about gambling or is it about his money being his and your money being family money? Was money an issue before this? How generous is he in other areas? Does he see a problem, or does he see it all as your problem?

I think a lot depends on how willing he is to work on this.

LTP123

I have never recieved a Xmas or bday present for about 7 years. I'm not materialistic but not the point I'm trying to show. He will male himself a drink and not ask if you want one. Is that what you mean? He will stick up for the world and its mother before me, anytime.

Tamsin_Temrin

So it isn't really about the gambling.

Do you think that he thinks there is a problem, and would he be willing to work at it? Things can't get better if only one side makes an effort. From what you have written he has a cushty life. I cant see why he would want to change it at the moment as he either doesnt see or doesnt care about the impact on you and your family.

Things are unlikely to change as they stand. What do you want to change most, and do you think you have a chance of getting him to buy into it?

Do you want to stay with him? If so, what do you need to make it work for you?

LTP123

All I want is for him to put his kids first and not lie. Pretty basic after 10 years. He knows he's selfish but I guess I allow it to carry on. I've ran out of energy now so in bed.

Oh, its about the betting BTW. I can put up with silent evenings and me arranging and suggesting anything. But to sit and have me comment about how dangerous these betting apps are but be sat next to me doing it, I'm angry. I feel like he has no respect for us we are an inconvenience.

JoW123

LTP123 wrote: »

All I want is for him to put his kids first and not lie. Pretty basic after 10 years. He knows he's selfish but I guess I allow it to carry on. I've ran out of energy now so in bed.

Oh, its about the betting BTW. I can put up with silent evenings and me arranging and suggesting anything. But to sit and have me comment about how dangerous these betting apps are but be sat next to me doing it, I'm angry. I feel like he has no respect for us we are an inconvenience.

I've been where you are now. About 3 and a half years ago infact. If you want to read my thread about it it will be in my history somewhere. There was only one way out and I don't think you're ready to take it yet.

I have been on my own with the kids for just over 3 years. My ex sees them when it suits, has a new relationship, still gambles, is still in debt and still lies through his teeth. The only difference is its not my problem any more although I still have to drive the kids there and back when he does see them. Eventually it will wear you out I'm afraid. I'm just about getting over it now.