I am so tired

skintmostofthetime

If it helps at all - there are plenty of people on here who will think of you..... and also as someone has already said - this will make others who know of someone in your position and - hopefully - TRY SOMETHING.

ukmaggie45

Dear vivmagb, no practical help to offer, just wanted to wish you well and send you some cyber hugs. Carers get very little help, my OH is my carer (I've been disabled for 20 years) but is also now joint carer for his Mum (memory problems amongst other things) with his brother. Poor soul doesn't get much of a break, but does manage to get out clubbing (I guess he's the oldest rocker in town! :rotfl: ) maybe a couple of times a month in a good month. It really cheers him up and sets him up to keep on going on. Any chance of you getting out once in a while for a film or something else of interest to you?

One thing I did wonder, how old are you both? Might your husband be eligible for DLA or Attendance Allowance? Even though this government are set on cutting down on welfare benefits as much as possible it might be worth checking out the DWP website to see if you might be entitled to any help. Best of luck, and will be looking back to this thread to see how you're doing. Please let us know how things go.

Best wishes from Liverpool!

Gingernutty

There are links on the cancer research uk website about benefits for cancer patients - HTH

Savvy_Sue

Sometimes though, I think we don't know what to do or what would be helpful, so we hope that if help is needed it will be asked for.

If it's friends who have all 'gone to ground', can you phone and ask any of them to do something? Or even just come round because you haven't seen them for a while, etc.

Angelchimes

Hello
It might be worth contacting your local hospice. Each hospice works differently but should offer help and support. Perhaps there may be a carers group, or a sitting service or your husband may be able to attend one day a week and give you a break. It's always worth an ask and they are usually very friendly places.

trailingspouse

It's hell, isn't it - I was in your shoes 4 years ago. When I wasn't working, I was visiting hospital - twice a day, an hour each way. No time in between for much in the way of eating or sleeping. Looking back, I don't honestly know how I did it.
You MUST tell people what you want from them. They've offered, so hold them to it. Be a bit selfish (not easy, but you have to put yourself first to stand any chance of a) helping your husband and b) surviving the experience unscathed). Take control, decide what you need most and who would be best able to do it for you - and call them.
And thank you for the heads up - my OH's brother is going through the mill at the moment (3 more chemo treatments to go), and I now feel we've been fooled somewhat by his wife!! She is a very busy, very capable, well paid professional, who always gives out the impression that they're coping, no problems. Will make it my business to just do something for her without waiting for her to ask.

[Deleted User]

Do get in touch with McMillan they are fantastic and will do what ever they can to help.I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost five years ago and the nurses were just amazing. I am widowed and live alone and just knowing there was someone to chat to even made a big differance to me.I had a phone no. from the hospital I was under to phone 24/7 when I was going through chemo, and one night I was feeling really poorly and phoned up and spoke to a lovely chap for about half an hour bless him.You are not alone and there are folk out there ,not nessesarily family or friends who will help you if you need it.My local district nurses team were fantastic and had to visit daily for five months as my mastectomy wound had collapsed and needed dressing daily .Bless them they would bring me a newspaper in as I couldn't get out to buy one and one, bless her shaved under my arms, as I couldn't do it myself because of the amount of problems I was having just moving my right arm.There should be a cancer care unit attached to your hospital ask there and see what help you can get.But do ask and you may be suprised at what's available.Definitely McMillans though they are just amazing
By the way fingers crossed come June I will be out of remission and found to be cured as my five years will be up.Good luck for your husband and you of course as its both of you doing this journey

Francesanne

vivmagb wrote: »

Thanks for all your kind replies and suggestions, I was feeling a bit wobbly and down when I posted this morning but am back on the up again.

I've been in the same very situation with my husband and I know what you're going through. We're 3 years down the line but it's been a very hard time. Hope life is a little easier now.

[Deleted User]

This afternoon I am off to see my oncologist and fingers crossed I will be out of remission and signed off I do hope you managed to get some help as it is around out there.I was very lucky to have a supportive close knit family who were there for me every step of the way.Its a rotten discease and one day god willing a cure will be found so less people have to go through it
Good luck
JackieO xxx

vivmagb

Well, he has come through it all and has been signed off from the oncologist but next week he is being assessed as he has the early signs of dementia. I think it has all been too much for him, as only 41/2 years ago he had a double heart bypass. I dont think he is capable of taking much more. At 70 I feel that he is beginning to give up. I try to be very positive around him but it is hard.