Hoarding - A New Start

nightsong

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I've taken up the hobby of watching movies at the cinema. It's still cheaper than buying a DVD, the sound is better and if I really wanted it badly enough, I can download it to see at home.

Love the going-to-the-cinema concept, but .... really cheaper? I broke my no-buy yesterday and got Black Swan in Lidl for £2.99. Certainly can't go to the cinema round here for that! However, the general priciple is brilliant and going out to the cinema is much more fun than watching a DVD, that's for sure.

So much good stuff on this thread as ever. I found the previous thread too, and ditto. Hugs to all.

A couple of days ago my New Year, New Me stuff came grinding to a halt. DH started talking about all the books he used to get at Christmas and how much he loved them. He's mentioned this before and it's always hurt me - yesterday I managed to say why, i.e. I'd have loved that too but had only a handful of books throughout my childhood despite having parents who could very reasonably have got them for me. I was a voracious bookworm from an early age - they must have noticed!

The other thing I longed for as a child was some Lego. My (male) cousin had it and I wanted some so much. My own DSs had more Lego than any child could reasonably need as a result (they did like it though).

DH asked me what I DID get for Christmas and the answer was, dolls. A doll for Christmas and a doll for my birthday. No, I didn't particularly like them or play with them. Evidently my parents either didn't notice or didn't care.

Anyway, we had this discussion and then, feeling fine, I tried to list some stuff on ebay. I couldn't. Ebay was having one of its weird times and kept logging me out; then my picture wouldn't load; then when it finally did load it looked all peculiar - and then I noticed that the six balls of wool were actually different dyelots so I couldn't list them together anyway.

At which point I got very upset

And this is why I hoard - and I'm sure all of us who do, have this sort of background where we weren't seen by our parents, our needs weren't met (it wasn't just present where things were very wrong, needless to say) and we hang on to the stuff because ... well,because it seems to help somehow.

blossomhill_2

Hi Noah
Thanks for posting your story - do you mind me asking which of the weights is the "real" you and is another an aspirational you? You don't have to post your answer, but it may help you to know - is the weight fluctuation due to anything in your own control or is it due to some outside influence eg meds or perhaps you are a jockey?

If it is within your control then you may find that sorting out your hoarding also helps you to stabilise to a certain extent

nightsong - interesting thoughts to ponder - I often got boyish toys as I was such a tomboy, and sis got delicate what we called "doing things" (what we now call crafts) - I think my mum particularly had a very good handle on our different characters and needs but I was always jealous of my sis and greedy, and she didn't have a jealous bone in her body and would have given me all her toys if I had asked

You can list your different dye lots - beware the perfectionist if your real aim is to reduce the stash, not become the perfect eBy shop - just say they are different in the listing

This_Year

lostinrates wrote: »

:rotfl:

Brilliant, and cheered me up!

His full haul this week was the tobasco, a yoga mat, two pairs of plastic flip flops, a (branded) hat, half a dozen kids t shirts (we don't have kids) and a ruck sack. Oh and some tiny cool things for lunch boxes.

He is thrilled because it was all free.....I am deflated becuase it's all Richard.

ebay? freegle? Can understand how you feel though.

This_Year

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I've taken up the hobby of watching movies at the cinema. It's still cheaper than buying a DVD, the sound is better and if I really wanted it badly enough, I can download it to see at home.

I watched The Hobbit this evening. I had the entire cinema to myself. That's something a plastic case with a yellow sticker on in the supermarket can't provide.

Not for me - I can't watch a film without falling asleep within the first few minutes. Something about not doing anything, being relatively comfy and it being dark, and my brain says zzzzzzzzzzzz

This_Year

NoahFence wrote: »

I don't think I've ever left any online purchases unopened in the box. It seems that some people do.

*hands up*

I frequently "find" something I've bought, left in the bag/box "for the time being" and then forgotten about

cyclingyorkie

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I've taken up the hobby of watching movies at the cinema. It's still cheaper than buying a DVD, the sound is better and if I really wanted it badly enough, I can download it to see at home.

I watched The Hobbit this evening. I had the entire cinema to myself. That's something a plastic case with a yellow sticker on in the supermarket can't provide.

I wish I was organised enough! I got to see the Hobbit last week in York's most uncomfy cinema. Yet again I am facing a deadline to see a film - Quartet - if I want to see it I have to go this weekend! Grrrr!

So it's not just the physical decluttering I have to do - I have to get organised as well.....

This_Year

nightsong wrote: »

And this is why I hoard - and I'm sure all of us who do, have this sort of background where we weren't seen by our parents, our needs weren't met (it wasn't just present where things were very wrong, needless to say) and we hang on to the stuff because ... well,because it seems to help somehow.

I have a sister who demanded everything that I had. So "to be Fair" my parents bought mine for my birthday, and hers for the following xmas. In the mean time, sister had had hissy fit after hissy fit insisting that I shared it, and then eventually either took and replaced it broken or it just vanished.

Then when she got her brand spanking new one, it was HERS. I had had mine and ruined it. :mad:

She hasn't changed and she's in her forties now. :eek:

I always wanted a train set when I was about 10. I got a Girls World hair styling head :rotfl:

Luckily I didn't get the train set as the Girls World ended up with a short hair cut and scribble on her face :mad: That was one time I would cheerfully have strangled her.

I eventually bought my train set when I got married
(it's now underneath some boxes in the back bedroom, I think!)

lostinrates

I am afraid films at home win for me too. Not often though. I get a bit freaked out in cinemas. Also I prefer to have a glass of wine (when not in my prohibition months) and will not drink and drive, andhome made film food if we are 'eating' (btw...we have this instead of a meal not as well as) and most importantly being snuggled up together warm, with cats and dogs. Being able to take piddle breaks as needed goes down well too.

We have a cinema opening in our nearest town soon I think, currently they are an hour or so away for proper cinemas, but with the fall of blockbuster we are thinking of trying again with one of the down load sites (our best solution I think...but rural download speeds might make things difficult) we have long sniffed at sky...but may that's worth considering too now. Dunno.

RAS

lostinrates wrote: »

His full haul this week was the tobasco, a yoga mat, two pairs of plastic flip flops, a (branded) hat, half a dozen kids t shirts (we don't have kids) and a ruck sack. Oh and some tiny cool things for lunch boxes.

:rotfl:

Do you have a refugee support group anywhere nearby? They could probably use the whole lot (just keep one bottle of tabasco)?

Patchwork_Quilt

nightsong wrote: »

A couple of days ago my New Year, New Me stuff came grinding to a halt. DH started talking about all the books he used to get at Christmas and how much he loved them. He's mentioned this before and it's always hurt me - yesterday I managed to say why, i.e. I'd have loved that too but had only a handful of books throughout my childhood despite having parents who could very reasonably have got them for me. I was a voracious bookworm from an early age - they must have noticed!

The other thing I longed for as a child was some Lego. My (male) cousin had it and I wanted some so much. My own DSs had more Lego than any child could reasonably need as a result (they did like it though).

DH asked me what I DID get for Christmas and the answer was, dolls. A doll for Christmas and a doll for my birthday. No, I didn't particularly like them or play with them. Evidently my parents either didn't notice or didn't care.

And this is why I hoard - and I'm sure all of us who do, have this sort of background where we weren't seen by our parents, our needs weren't met (it wasn't just present where things were very wrong, needless to say) and we hang on to the stuff because ... well,because it seems to help somehow.

I feel for you nightsong. If it's any help, I think in the olden days, when I grew up, parents could have very rigid views about what was suitable for boys and girls. I got dolls and a doll's house but I was lucky enough to have two brothers, so I could share in their Lego. Parents also often buy things they would have liked themselves as a child. Did your Mum feel deprived of dolls when she was little? Lastly, they sometimes buy something that they would like to be seen buying, so that the presents please the neighbours. It isn't any excuse, of course. Perhaps the next step might be to ask your parents why they liked buying you dolls. Unfortunately, conversations like that can leave the parents shocked and horrified that they got things so wrong - I know because I've had a couple. In the end, you can only make it better by doing exactly what you are doing now - being a sensitive and thoughtful parent to your own children. I am sure they appreciate it.