Will I get my money?

shoe*diva79

kevin137 wrote: »

If that is what it takes then yes...! Why should you have the right to claim and have a car... There are many who don't have that luxury...! Who do work...!!! And they all survive with no car...!!!

Drive past an unemployment office and see the people turning up in there cars...! Makes you sick...! I think it really should be the 1st thing to go...!!! And if on credit you should have NO choice but for it to go full stop...!!! Will stop you getting further in to debt, and reduce the risk of the honest people who do insure there cars as they can afford it etc...

Well luckily for me I'm not in debt with it, its fully comprehensive insured and since my ex leaving its cost me approx £10 a week to run (fuel). By the time the MOT, tax, Insurance are all due ill (hopefully) be back working again.

kevin137

DUTR wrote: »

At 1st sight it would seem that way, but as mentioned either here or in another thread, the car could have been purchased before becoming unemployed, my current car I had from brand new, paid for it outright, my next car I will do the same, the previous three cars were bought outright. If I was unfortunate to be out of work tomorrow, should I have to sell my car and home? maybe as the media have hinted some are saying benfits should not come as cash but vouchers, which doesn't seem a bad idea.

Your home is something completely different, you have to live in your home, you don't have to drive your car...!

And if you own your home, then the punitive damage for being unemployed is already there in the housing benefit system... SO If you own your home, lose your job and have to claim with little savings... You tell me...? Should you sell your car...? I know you would choose not too.

A sensible person WOULD sell there car... But most are not sensible...!!!

And yes i have been there, i too have never had a car on credit, but i also had a job as a bailiff repossessing cars back in the 90's... And we used to do our checks on people and there employment status and actually take cars back from "dole offices" back then...! Was always funny them coming out screaming about us stealing "THERE" car, when they hadn't paid for it...!

kevin137

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Well luckily for me I'm not in debt with it, its fully comprehensive insured and since my ex leaving its cost me approx £10 a week to run (fuel). By the time the MOT, tax, Insurance are all due ill (hopefully) be back working again.

But again, not all people are organised, and you can't have one rule for one and all that...

What happens if you can't find work when the insurance runs out...? I know what you will say... But if everyone said that, there would not be 12% of all cars uninsured on the roads in the UK today now would there...

shoe*diva79

kevin137 wrote: »

But again, not all people are organised, and you can't have one rule for one and all that...

What happens if you can't find work when the insurance runs out...? I know what you will say... But if everyone said that, there would not be 12% of all cars uninsured on the roads in the UK today now would there...

Then I would use the money I have coming into my household to pay for it. Simple really.

AnxiousMum

What a nasty, nasty thread this has turned into! A parent comes on here asking advice about CM payments that are OWED TO HER (Yes, it is her money, which is why the payments are made to her and not anybody else).

What does her employment status have to do with whether or not she will get what is owed to her by the other parent?

As for those comments about 'both parents getting out there and earning'......some of us, when we had children, were working. I personally worked full time supporting my husband while he set up his own business. I took 9 months off on 80% maternity pay, and returned to work 2-1/2 days per week. Childcare costs did not make it worthwhile to return full time. Two years later, I had (planned) child number 2 and switched jobs to on call shiftwork which enabled me to work around my husband's hours. As he had just started his own business, I was during all of this time, the main wage earner.

Then, he decides to quit his business, 'cos apparently being self employed is not all it's cracked up to be. I continued working - often calling him away from a golf game, or a fishing day to go pick up kids from school as I was caught in traffic, or an incident occurred that I could not leave work on time (emergency services).

Then when I've had enough of being 'mum' to him too, and we split, child maintenance was put into effect. To help out with childcare costs, I had a court order ordering him to take the children overnight four nights per month when I worked night shift - to save me handing over my entire pay for the shift to a babysitter. (In Canada - he was still paying child support based on his 'employable earnings' as he was deemed underemployed by the courts).

To get out of the child support, he decided to go to school full time - keeping in mind that most people, if they have children to support financially, would do this on a part time basis.

So while trying to get out of paying child support for our children, he was willing to see them go without food, clothing, housing etc., as this in fact is what he was helping to pay towards. he was quite willing to try and put all the onus on me to provide everything for them, yet, if any PWC were not to provide those basic necessities for a child - would it not be neglect? Whether they are getting child maintenance or not? So, why is a NRP not ever charged with neglect of a minor? After all - it is a legal responsibility for both parents to provide for their children is it not?

If any NRP is ever dissatisfied with the way that their child/ren are provided for by a PWC, then do the right thing by your children and apply for custody of them. Not because you oppose your ex having any kind of luxury item, but because you can see that your children's needs are being neglected. I wonder how many of the moaners on here about their kids' mum going out once in a while, or spending a little on herself once in a while, could honestly say that their child's needs are neglected - to the point where you get off your rear end and do something about it. If they are neglected, and you are allowing that to happen - then you are just as much as fault.

Yes, the child maintenance was MY money. It allowed me to provide for my children, and along with chosen lines of work - I was able to provide a suitable lifestyle for them. Along with those choices that I have made workwise - so that I could also work around my children's needs - there are promotions that I have passed up, new positions that were passed up. Meanwhile, NRP has been able to move on up the ladder in his job as he didn't have the day to day responsibility of the children. Should child support increase due to that? Yes, because my ability to increase my income was limited because all the sacrifices I made, were for my children. His? Well, any sacrifices he made were early on and out of pure laziness while I supported him. Karma....love it

DUTR

galangm8 wrote: »

Paying the fee does not entitle you to be an 'absent parent'.

You are an absent parent because you want to be.

Why is it now a bad idea to use CSA, are you both mediating now, would be great if the meeting with 'mum' was also with your child.

Why do you not have contact with your child?

It does entitle one to be absent though doesn't it?
It was a bad idea , as I wouldn't be absent would I ?
Why would it have been great if the meeting was for three? As the old saying goes two's comany three is a crowd.

I don't have contact because I pay the absent doner fee 15%
Can you give a good reason why I should have contact?
because as yet nobody I know has been able to give a valid case :cool:

UsetheFORCE

AnxiousMum wrote: »

What a nasty, nasty thread this has turned into! A parent comes on here asking advice about CM payments that are OWED TO HER (Yes, it is her money, which is why the payments are made to her and not anybody else).

What does her employment status have to do with whether or not she will get what is owed to her by the other parent?

As for those comments about 'both parents getting out there and earning'......some of us, when we had children, were working. I personally worked full time supporting my husband while he set up his own business. I took 9 months off on 80% maternity pay, and returned to work 2-1/2 days per week. Childcare costs did not make it worthwhile to return full time. Two years later, I had (planned) child number 2 and switched jobs to on call shiftwork which enabled me to work around my husband's hours. As he had just started his own business, I was during all of this time, the main wage earner.

Then, he decides to quit his business, 'cos apparently being self employed is not all it's cracked up to be. I continued working - often calling him away from a golf game, or a fishing day to go pick up kids from school as I was caught in traffic, or an incident occurred that I could not leave work on time (emergency services).

Then when I've had enough of being 'mum' to him too, and we split, child maintenance was put into effect. To help out with childcare costs, I had a court order ordering him to take the children overnight four nights per month when I worked night shift - to save me handing over my entire pay for the shift to a babysitter. (In Canada - he was still paying child support based on his 'employable earnings' as he was deemed underemployed by the courts).

To get out of the child support, he decided to go to school full time - keeping in mind that most people, if they have children to support financially, would do this on a part time basis.

So while trying to get out of paying child support for our children, he was willing to see them go without food, clothing, housing etc., as this in fact is what he was helping to pay towards. he was quite willing to try and put all the onus on me to provide everything for them, yet, if any PWC were not to provide those basic necessities for a child - would it not be neglect? Whether they are getting child maintenance or not? So, why is a NRP not ever charged with neglect of a minor? After all - it is a legal responsibility for both parents to provide for their children is it not?

If any NRP is ever dissatisfied with the way that their child/ren are provided for by a PWC, then do the right thing by your children and apply for custody of them. Not because you oppose your ex having any kind of luxury item, but because you can see that your children's needs are being neglected. I wonder how many of the moaners on here about their kids' mum going out once in a while, or spending a little on herself once in a while, could honestly say that their child's needs are neglected - to the point where you get off your rear end and do something about it. If they are neglected, and you are allowing that to happen - then you are just as much as fault.

Yes, the child maintenance was MY money. It allowed me to provide for my children, and along with chosen lines of work - I was able to provide a suitable lifestyle for them. Along with those choices that I have made workwise - so that I could also work around my children's needs - there are promotions that I have passed up, new positions that were passed up. Meanwhile, NRP has been able to move on up the ladder in his job as he didn't have the day to day responsibility of the children. Should child support increase due to that? Yes, because my ability to increase my income was limited because all the sacrifices I made, were for my children. His? Well, any sacrifices he made were early on and out of pure laziness while I supported him. Karma....love it

I would love my son to live with me, if I apply to the courts, all things being equal, will I get my son?

Well actually all things aren't equal...my ex is on benefits and I work!!! It most certainly isn't her money, if she wants 'her' money, go out and work for it and I will have my son. I tell you what, I will get 'my' money off her then! LOL

CSA is not the PWC's money as such, the CSA was setup primarily as a way for the state to recoup the costs of benefits. It so happened that people who weren't claiming benefit could use it as well!

shoe*diva79

UsetheFORCE wrote: »

I would love my son to live with me, if I apply to the courts, all things being equal, will I get my son?

Well actually all things aren't equal...my ex is on benefits and I work!!! It most certainly isn't her money, if she wants 'her' money, go out and work for it and I will have my son.

CSA is not the PWC's money as such, the CSA was setup primarily as a way for the state to recoup the costs of benefits. It so happened that people who weren't claiming benefit could use it as well!

Can I jus ask, if you have your son while your ex works, how will you have a income? Will you rely on benefits? tax credits to pay for childcare? Or you earn enough to pay all of tour current outgoings, plus the thousands in childcare?

Assuming your son is of a age that requires childcare and not a teenager!

AnxiousMum

UsetheFORCE wrote: »

I would love my son to live with me, if I apply to the courts, all things being equal, will I get my son?

Well actually all things aren't equal...my ex is on benefits and I work!!! It most certainly isn't her money, if she wants 'her' money, go out and work for it and I will have my son.

CSA is not the PWC's money as such, the CSA was setup primarily as a way for the state to recoup the costs of benefits. It so happened that people who weren't claiming benefit could use it as well!

But before the CSA, the court was there to ensure children's needs were met by BOTH parents.

When you split with your ex - and you are named as a parent with parental rights - why did you not take your son then? You had as much right a she did right?

In most countries, if a PWC is on benefits, the government also goes after support from the NRP. Why shouldn't they recuperate the costs so that families who chose to stop at one or two children as that's what they can afford, aren't having to work to pay taxes to provide for children they didn't choose to have? Makes sense.... They don't however, do that here in the UK anymore! They add the benefits on, making it near impossible for a woman who has taken time out of their career to have children, to get back in at a salary that makes it worth their while after paying childcare. You on the other hand, probably haven't had to take a break of any length due to raising a small baby?

I guess if you want your child parented by two working parents though - you seek a partner initially who is willing to work and contribute to the family pot.

UsetheFORCE

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Can I jus ask, if you have your son while your ex works, how will you have a income? Will you rely on benefits? tax credits to pay for childcare? Or you earn enough to pay all of tour current outgoings, plus the thousands in childcare?

Assuming your son is of a age that requires childcare and not a teenager!

I can work at leisure, so primarily school time, my partner or family if needed.