Want to do something with my life

factor29

Not sure if this is the right place for this, so sorry if not wasn't sure where else to put it!

I have a constant feeling of wanting to do something with my life. Something else, something different...I don't know.

I drive to and from work every day feeling like a robot obeying my commands. Go to work and do this, go to work and do that. Go home and do nothing etc.

I'm 25, have a pretty good job - but I hate it. I drive to work - unwillingly - and do as little as I can get away with. I have jobs to do but I don't have the motivation to do it, I would rather sit at my desk on my own making my time at work even worse! Dont have a boss or anyone watching over my every move most of the time.

I don't mind my job, but the lack of wanting to do anything kind of ruins it, to the point where I am looking for another job just for the 'something different' - however I fear I may or may not end up at the same point further down the line.

At home - I have little/no friends. I have a partner and child and try to enjoy my time with them but still feel like I'm missing something. I lost touch with all my school friends the moment we left school, and have never really made any since. I struggle to start conversations or carry them on most of the time. I probably have one person I could half class as a friend, and that's only because he is my partners friends partner.

I cant make friends at work because I work 20 miles away from home, and there hasn't really being the potential to anyway.


I've never really had any hobbies or such, but over the last year or two I've tried my hand at a few things.

I joined a gym, hoping I might make friends there - didn't happen. I went for 9 months and managed to lose 8kg (was only marginally overweight on the BMI scale - this brought me well into the "normal" category). I was, at the time, really pleased with it however I went on a two week holiday eating quite a bit, put about 3kg on over the holiday and never went back. Never had the determination to get up and go there, could never be bothered. Ive now cancelled as I was paying for nothing.

I've done a few 10+ mile walks in the countryside - but doing it on my own is no fun and means I never have the determination to do it. I've done two charity walks of 14 miles but these were with my partner coming along with me - she doesn't want to do anymore so I probably wont.

I bought a classic car to tinker about with, and drive around at the weekends to fill a bit of time. Still have this but as its a convertible it isn't really the weather at the moment!

I bought a DSLR camera with the intention of getting into photography but that never really kicked off - couldn't get the hang of it so just use it for holidays etc on "auto" mode.


Other than that I don't really do anything with my life. Ideally I would like a bunch of good, decent mates where I could go along and have a good time doing something like a good walk etc once in a while. Id like to wake up and enjoy my day instead of plodding along to work, waiting for finish time, only to come home and laze in front of the TV until bed time.

Recently I have been thinking about volunteering but cant find anything that I would like to do. I thought this might make me feel like im doing something with my life, and also give me the opportunity to make friends.


Im kind of stuck in a dead end and not sure what to do, or whether I have the motivation to actually do it.

Thanks for taking the time to read & any help/suggestions appreciated.

nickj_2

your local council may have a volunteer dept who may be able to suggest something to get yourteeth into .
why not join a club , photoography , running club etc , could you paly tennis , squash etc with your partners friends partner, ? i've just got together with some of the guys in my village and we play 5-a- side footy once a week which is a great laugh .
get involved with stuff that involves your child, you haven't said how old they are , but there's always plenty of things that you can do with the school, pta , fundraising etc , or pre school depending on age . or is there things like a fete / carnival committee you could get involved with ,
think about what you would like to do for a job , could you retrain and work for yourself , you could be doing a job you love instead of doing a job you hate

MAKE 2013 YOUR YEAR OF ACTION ..... GO FOR IT !!!!

belfastgirl23

Quick post but meetup groups often have walkers groups as part of them - you could try this out. Don't worry it's not a dating site

You also could try looking at The Happiness Project - it's a good way of helping you to think about what might make you happier.

A lot of us know this feeling well, but its up to you to figure out what to do about it!

Cooper18

I was half way down your post wanting to scream "volunteer!!" and then you beat me to it! :-)

Go check out some websites - volunteer.org or something similar. There's loads to do. I know folks who have spent time with the elderly, done dog walking, built enclosures at the zoo, helped out with sports clubs, done tours at national trust places etc etc.

You sound totally down, but this is a great time of year to give yourself a boot in the backside and get out there! Lots of the things you've tried have been solo pursuits but its easier to stick to things if you've got other folks egging you on. Go for it!

onlyroz

You're still young enough to retrain if you want a more fulfilling career. Have you considered the Open University? You might even be able to persuade your employer to fund you if they think it will increase your skill set - and might open doors to more interesting work.

sharp910sh

Go away to a different country. Take your husband and kid. England is boring, if your job is in demand go to Aus or canada, or even Qatar. You need to experience different things in your life.

gibson123

Well you have lots of opportunity to try different and new things, what's stopping you?

Instead of wishing things are different decide what is going to be different and go for it.

You have a child - good there are lots of Mums and Dads out there growing away from old mates and looking for more friendships, go find them, ask your child's friends over and when they get dropped off ask the Mums in for coffee to get to know them.

Then think about what you are interested in, make a bucket list of things you want to do before you die and go for them.

Volunteer if you have the time and commitment.

But most of all make an effort, people are generally very open to new friendships, but it;s like dating, you have to let people know you are available and interested first.

krlyr

Minus the kid and car and you sound a lot like me! I've found picking ongoing projects the best. For example, I've got work to support me studying for the AAT qualification (I work in accounts). I don't need it for my current role but being the youngest in the office, I'm probably in the best position to move into other roles or be assigned a brand new role to reflect the new skills I'll gain, and in the meantime it's great to be using my brain. I do dread the initial thought of having to drag myself out to college 2 nights a week, not helped by the dark evenings and the traffic to get there (12 minute drive in no traffic, but takes me 45 minutes to get there for 6pm!) but once I'm there I find it good to have to get thinking about new things.

Do you like dogs? You could combine your love of walking, your desire to commit to something and your developing skills in photography to help out a local dog rescue. Many of the smaller rescues are in need of dog walkers, especially if they keep the rescue dogs in kennels rather than foster homes, and good photos taken on a DSLR can reall help 'sell' a dog's personality on their website. I used to go to a rescue near me once a week/fortnight and walk the dogs and snap up-to-date photos, I even fostered a dog over Christmas to give it some home comforts. Often the walkers would arrange to meet up at the same time to keep each other company, so you'd meet new people too. I don't go anymore, it was a bit too much of a trek and had a bit of a falling out with the woman who ran the rescue, but it could be worth seeing what's near you - try http://www.dogrescueworld.org.uk as I think they have a nationwide list of rescues available

eeker

I read the OP and am assuming the OP is male - how old is your little one and what gender ? I think these things are relevant to the advice people try to give you
It is not unusual to search for meaning - we all try to in our own way but perhaps your post suggests feeling something else (please excuse me if I'm way out of line) you seem quite apart from your family at the moment - maybe something to consider ? If not then the suggestions by other posters wrt volunteering are the best place to start. Feeling as you do about work is really difficult - I have been there - and in some ways still am ! - but reminding yourself why you do it, sounds facile - but is worth doing, there is a myth that we are all meant to feel fulfilled at work and whilst I agree that is the ideal situation - if it was fun - it would be a hobby and they wouldn't pay us for it . Hope you find some answers that work for you.

wkdhoney

Honestly you should join the reserves. I'm in the navy reserves and its given me a much fuller life. I've made tonnes of friends, met my husband and been away on tour. There is lots of opportunity to train and a good promotion system. Finally you get paid!

alun4

What is your financial position ? Do your thoughts always include your partner? What are her hobbies and pastimes? Does she realise you are "down" at this time?