should 9yr old be allowed unsupervised access to computer?

pipkin71

FBaby wrote: »

What does supervise mean? That an adult is sitting with the child and checking what they do the entire time they've logged in?

If that is the case, then my 9yo is allowed to be on the family computer (in the living room) unsupervised. The computer doesn't have any parental settings. Am I worried? No. Am I unconscious? No. At the moment, I am completely confident that my son only goes on sites he knows. Could that change? Absolutely, but I will tackle it then. In the meantime, he has learnt from me and at school about the danger of the internet and uses it appropriately. He doesn't have facebook or has a membership to any other interactive site. He isn't interested.

My children have had unsupervised access for a long time and I remember being lambasted for it, but then my nearly 16 year old has only just been allowed to have facebook. Prior to this, she had twitter and I do not like how she used that so facebook was off limits. She now does not use twitter in the same way, following a discussion, as it was unacceptable to me.

This really is another of those situations where there is no right or wrong and we do things which are right for us. Obviously, allowing free access to anything on the net isn't appropriate but you can limit access to things without sitting on their shoulder.

Both my girls were made aware that, should they abuse the trust I have in them, there are consequences and, on the whole, it has worked. I do check to see what they have been on, know what public sites they use and will remove their laptops should they behave in an inappropriate way.

pipkin71

zaksmum wrote: »

I just won't allow him to use my computer without supervision and I'm made to feel I'm in the wrong because of this.

Your house - your rules.

I just think you have to stand firm in your belief not to allow unsupervised access. It's not something I think you should feel bad about

thunderbird

zaksmum wrote: »

I don't want any hassle with the boy's mum and dad as obviously it's their call and they are family members, and if they are ok with him having unsupervised access to the computer and his own Facebook account - AND a tablet!! - it's not for me to interfere.

I just won't allow him to use my computer without supervision and I'm made to feel I'm in the wrong because of this.

it isn't really up to the parents to decide if he has a Facebook account - he is underage!

How long does this boy spend at your house? does he really need to go on the computer at all whilst with you?

Welshwoofs

zaksmum wrote: »

I just won't allow him to use my computer without supervision and I'm made to feel I'm in the wrong because of this.

Then they need to check their attitude. It's your house and your computer and it doesn't matter what they let their little darling do in their own time and space - in your space it's your rules.

Honestly if someone made me feel that way they'd be told to pheck off back to their own house if they didn't like the way I ran mine.

Be_Nice

My 8 & 10 year old are frequently on the computer without me standing over their shoulders, however it is in the front room so there is always somebody around and all of the security & parental controls are set to the absolute maximum.

They also know I check the history!

Each to their own though, every child is different and can be trusted with different things at different times, I think it also depends on how comfortable/confident the parents are with using technology.

coinxoperated

IMHO, surely discussing the dangers of the Internet and how to be smart online (I.e not clicking on links you don't know, not using chat rooms, keeping any profiles like Facebook very private and not giving out personal details) is far more important than making them feel dis-trusted. Children grow up quicker now than try used too and 'blocking' it is not educating.

His friends parents may not be so cautious and happily leave the kids to do what they want. Intelligence and education should always come before such strict policies.

If at 9 years old my mum and dad and told me no to something, but didn't tell me why, I would try and find out why!

At 9 years old, if we had a frank discussion about the type of people that are in chat rooms, the pros and cons of making friends online and how to be safe in what your doing, I would of understood. 9 year olds are mentally more advanced now.

coinxoperated

Also, don't forget to trust first. If you treat them like they are being punished, What incentive do they have for doing as asked?

coinxoperated

Sorry - just reading over some other posts - you can report his Facebook to Facebook anonymously as being underage. They take it straight off!

onlyroz

Depends what you mean by unsupervised. If they're shut in their bedrooms with the door closed then no. If they're in the dining/living room with other people about then probably.

penelopedee_2

A 9 year old shouldn't have unsupervised use of a PC and internet and is 'not allowed' a facebook account under the age of 13. You can contact facebook to remove any under age accounts with immediate affect. There are plenty of parental control packages, a lot are free and the PC or laptop should be in the family room in the sight of appropriate adults.

Its nothing to do with the child. Its down to the responsible adult from protecting them from the many un-responsible adults (and children) on the net that could cause them harm.

This doesn't stop at primary school age and needs to be monitored for teens too.