should 9yr old be allowed unsupervised access to computer?

Tropez

zaksmum wrote: »

How can I? I don't have Facebook myself and he certainly wouldn't give me his password!

Tell me which web browser you use, or which router, and I'll tell you how to lock Facebook out entirely.

Tropez

Over Christmas, I had a visit from various family members; among them my cousin who has a 13 year old son. We were talking computers because she's looking to get one, mostly for her son so that he has some help with schooling, as the one they currently have appears to be powered by a geriatric hamster on a wheel.

I told her to get a desktop, not only for the financial argument in that a desktop PC will always be more powerful than an equivalent priced laptop (plus I can build a desktop PC much easier than a laptop for extra money saving goodness) but also because a desktop can't be as easily taken to one's bedroom at night.

See, I had unrestricted access to the Internet from when I was 14. It didn't really do me any damage but it was a different time - 56kps modems were the order of the day and downloading a GIF image, never mind a video, took far too long. I'll be honest and admit I looked at some naughty pictures and on occasion I came across something disgusting - fortunately I've always had a strong stomach for those types of things so it never did any damage but I wouldn't go sharing them about with others.

Unfortunately, there are plenty that will, and faster connections make it a lot easier. From the !!!!!! side of things, while I think what I might term as normal !!!!!! isn't particularly harmful (though in the OPs case, no 9 year old should be exposed to it) there's always the stuff that is vile. I gave my cousin an example - that Gangnam Style video is quite popular at the moment, and maybe her 13 year old son might develop a bit of a crush on Hyuna (the woman on the train) and perhaps look up some Asian girls one day... Asian tastes in adult entertainment are notably more extreme than they are in the west.

And it isn't just that. Virtually any forum on the Internet, no matter how tame, will eventually have some troll who finds it absolutely hilarious to post a link to something vile - an Al Qaeda beheading video, the video from those serial killers in Ukraine, the infamous two ladies utilising a standard beverage container for deviant acts etc. I've seen such garbage linked on movie sites, video games sites, music sites etc. You don't even have to be looking for it to find it because this type of trolling is rife and parental controls can only go so far - the service providers behind parental control software have to be informed in advance that a site contains such content - it is a reactive as opposed to proactive form of security.

So coming back to the OP, of course I wouldn't let a 9 year old on the Internet unsupervised - heck, I wouldn't even let 14 year old me on the Internet unsupervised in this day and age and not because of anything I might actually be looking for, but for what exists that I might not but find anyway.

Plus, with all the malware and such out there, a 9 year old is very unlikely to realise which sites are particularly dangerous to one's PC.

thunderbird

You can report the underage child using facebook and get their account deleted.

hannoja

Yep, you can basically block sites using your browser, or router. I imagine Tropez will explain better so I won't try. I also use various add-ons such as WoT, adblockplus and noscript which my leads my family (even OH) into believing that my computer doesn't work properly... :doh:Oh, I also use OpenDNS which you can set to low, high, etc., or choose your own types of sites to block, or specific domains :cool:

I keep an eye on what they're doing on the PC, which is usually little games sites like miniclip, agame, etc.. My eldest likes to watch youtube clips of games that he likes, which I have a bit of a problem with, due to the comment area, but he doesn't tend to read them anyway...

My youngest is presenting more of a challenge since he's signed up to a couple of games sites using his dad's email address, which he got wrong incidentally.. I think there's a bit of a 'geeky' element among him and a few of his little friends at school.. one of his friends created a gmx account for him the other day.. got round the age restriction and everything! They're only 7 :eek: Also, a couple of his friends have created agame accounts using their real names, and one even used his name as his password too _pale_
I must have a word with their teacher when they go back! If their parents aren't teaching them security then the school should be!
Anyway, I've let him keep his email account, but created an alias for him to use which can be deleted at will, and I've also changed the password, so he can't use it unless we log him in. He's a little monkey, but luckily it's all about little arcade-type games, at the moment..
We had a little chat about it all too (not for the first time, but some things need to be drummed in), and I taught him how to make a password 'code' so he can have different passwords for different sites without having to actually remember loads of different passwords.

They have their own account on my PC which has time restrictions on it too, but that's more for dad tbh, so he doesn't 'forget' that they need a break...

It's your house and your PC. It's also your life, but clearly you are concerned or you wouldn't be here asking. What if the 9 year old suddenly becomes obsessed with something unpleasant because he came across stuff when you were busy doing dinner or something? It would give you peace of mind to put some kind of restrictions on the PC: it isn't difficult to put them on. I'm happy with what we have and it's all free. Clearly, you can't control what they do whilst not in your house/company, but you can when they are. If you really can't handle it, pretend it's broken; 'break' the internet or something.. (couldn't keep that up for long though really..)..

Now if only I could get OH to think along the lines of most of the posters in this thread.......The half-hearted 'sorry' when I come home and he's been having a snooze on the sofa and they've been playing some online game where 'people can talk to each other' (one of my BIG bug-bears!) really doesn't cut it... :mad: Occasionally, I let them play a MMORPG, but only when I'm around, I've set them to offline, turned off all the chat features, and keep randomly popping up behind them asking how they're getting on... or even better I actually play with them (rare ): if only we had more computers, we could have a blast, me and my little guys

Didn't mean to write so much, but I feel rather passionately about it, and get upset that OH seems rather indifferent to it all. You can only do what you can do, but I believe that you need to be able to say that you tried your best (especially if you're the guilty type).

ADDED: Just read Tropez' post. Very good post. Thank you to you Tropez, and others here like you, who reassure me that I'm right in feeling the way I do about it all :A

Hoseman

My kids are 8 and 10 and here's what I do. As said we can't stand over their shoulders to supervise their every move all of the time.

They use a laptop and in the living room or kitchen only. We always ask what they are doing and say that is all they can do unless they ask for permission i.e. playing on Friv, Wikipedia for homework or looking for a song on YouTube. I'm conscious of YT because of all the colourful language but their use is limited.

They're allowed anything from 20 mins up to an hour here and there. Banned midweek apart from holidays.

FB is a no no. Other kids in their school have accounts but the oldest one has to wait till secondary school and then we'll see. I dont see the point and I dont really get the parents either.

I dont have any parental controls or not yet anyway but I do have a password to log into the computer so they can't switch on and use the laptop when they feel like it.

Should they have unsupervised access? Yes as long as you have a system in place that sets out what the limits are and they understand what those limits are.

One more thing. My daughter once thought she would stray from what she had agreed to do so when I checked the computer's history, lets just say she was a little embarrassed and hasn't done it since. Perhaps I should have pointed this out before but I guess we're all learning as we go along.

sassyblue

You can install a program called 'key logger' (or something) it sits hidden in your computer and records everything that's typed, you go into it, put your password in and then read whatever's been typed. Just to make sure there's nothing untoward going on, it's just an extra layer of security.

Tropez

sassyblue wrote: »

You can install a program called 'key logger' (or something) it sits hidden in your computer and records everything that's typed, you go into it, put your password in and then read whatever's been typed. Just to make sure there's nothing untoward going on, it's just an extra layer of security.

You do have to be careful when installing keyloggers onto your own computer. Most AV packages will detect these as viruses, regardless of their intent due to the fact that a great number of them, particularly the free ones, are actually designed to forward keylogged information to third parties for the purposes of stealing login information for bank accounts, credit cards and even online gaming sites.

For example, simply Googling "keylogger" returned a front page of downloadable keyloggers, all of which were labelled as potentially dangerous by various safe searching tools (including Avast, Kaspersky, Eset and McAfee). One result is reported to host various forms of malware, adware, spyware and trojans, yet purports to be a reputable site.

Another which has a high rating on the reputable file sharing site CNET, is considered harmful, displaying trojan-behaviour, accessing ports (which suggests re-transmitting information) and even supposed third party review sites for it are showing as laden with malware.

Now they might actually be harmless and do what they say they'll do without putting your information at risk but if you don't know what you're doing you could be playing with fire.

In all cases, if you ever install a keylogger onto your own computer you should seek the guidance of someone in the know first, preferably a computer security professional, and not simply trust Google to show you the way.

FBaby

What does supervise mean? That an adult is sitting with the child and checking what they do the entire time they've logged in?

If that is the case, then my 9yo is allowed to be on the family computer (in the living room) unsupervised. The computer doesn't have any parental settings. Am I worried? No. Am I unconscious? No. At the moment, I am completely confident that my son only goes on sites he knows. Could that change? Absolutely, but I will tackle it then. In the meantime, he has learnt from me and at school about the danger of the internet and uses it appropriately. He doesn't have facebook or has a membership to any other interactive site. He isn't interested.

zaksmum

I don't want any hassle with the boy's mum and dad as obviously it's their call and they are family members, and if they are ok with him having unsupervised access to the computer and his own Facebook account - AND a tablet!! - it's not for me to interfere.

I just won't allow him to use my computer without supervision and I'm made to feel I'm in the wrong because of this.

Tropez

zaksmum wrote: »

I don't want any hassle with the boy's mum and dad as obviously it's their call and they are family members, and if they are ok with him having unsupervised access to the computer and his own Facebook account - AND a tablet!! - it's not for me to interfere.

I just won't allow him to use my computer without supervision and I'm made to feel I'm in the wrong because of this.

Well the kid's parents are being daft if they're making you feel like you're in the wrong.

There could feasibly be other reasons why you would not let a child use your computer unsupervised - hell there could be a reason you would not let an adult use your computer unsupervised. Perhaps you have important work documents, precious photos, naughty videos you've taken involving your partner(s) and a feather duster.

Personally, I'd be inclined to just tell them the latter then they probably wouldn't want their kid to use your computer anyway; they may however pester you to be allowed to look themselves.