*The Holly and the Ivy* and the You Know What 2013 Chatter Thread.

FeistyFidget

Eeeek, happy belated birthday kayandy!

Well started the epic task of cleaning out the work room - since the guinea pigs have been in there space has been a real issue I did however manage to find several of my Santa DVD, cd and money wallets that are pristine so will be reusing them! Also found some of my hand made tags that are addressed to DH from me, will have a sneaky recycle of those too

Went and saw family last night and was criticised for thinking about picking up sticks to move out into the country I was told I don't think things through and obsess over things too much I was a bit upset as we're not putting the house on the market until next year and I've started researching it now - its not like buying a car, it's something I'm looking into carefully ho hum.

msgigglewick

Do you think it was their way of saying don't go ,we´ll miss you? People don't like change and would rather be negative about it to stop someone from doing it...its your life in the end. Sends a hug

FeistyFidget

Thanks msgigglewick, I did initially think that, but this family member is very proud to state that she says whatever she is thinking. She was making me feel terrible when she was saying that it was irresponsible to move away from the good local hospitals here (DH has heart problems)

If we move an hour away, we can get a 4 bedroom house with a huge garden and conservatory for the same price as a three bedroom flat in a dodgy area here! I tried explaining we want a house we can stay in for the next twenty odd years without having to run out of space and she threw the impulsive insults in my face

Every criticism she had, I had a solution for but apparently we will be miserable living so far out from the hustle and bustle of city life. If we could afford a three bedroom house in an okayish area locally then of course I would stay put, but at the moment it looks like we will be heading back to the rough council estates we grew up on - I don't want that for us or any children we may have

Sorry for the long winded rant, it's really upset me.

Nanamia

Aaaw feisty don't let her get to you. Obviously your DH and you have and are giving this a lot of thought, it isn't a knee jerk reaction. You will be doing it for the right reasons, sometimes (like my DS and his family) you have to do what's right for you both- and of course your future family xxx

Nanamia

I'm so sorry I've been missing and missed your birthdays Gleek (our founder xxx) and kayandy. Hope you've had a great day xxx

The internet here is so temperamental it's been driving me mad! I've written and lost numerous posts the past week or so! Anyway had to try again as I've been missing you all.
The most wonderful thing happened on Friday. My DDSiL was discharged from hospital and came home 13 weeks after she went in
I can't wait to see her:)

I hate to complain about the weather here in Oz but it's been 42/43 degrees today and I've been on hiding! I've no tan whatso ever people will think DH and I have been on separate hols!

Hugs to all that need them I'm going to try and catch up xxx

Own_My_Own

FeistyFidget wrote: »

Thanks msgigglewick, I did initially think that, but this family member is very proud to state that she says whatever she is thinking. She was making me feel terrible when she was saying that it was irresponsible to move away from the good local hospitals here (DH has heart problems)

If we move an hour away, we can get a 4 bedroom house with a huge garden and conservatory for the same price as a three bedroom flat in a dodgy area here! I tried explaining we want a house we can stay in for the next twenty odd years without having to run out of space and she threw the impulsive insults in my face

Every criticism she had, I had a solution for but apparently we will be miserable living so far out from the hustle and bustle of city life. If we could afford a three bedroom house in an okayish area locally then of course I would stay put, but at the moment it looks like we will be heading back to the rough council estates we grew up on - I don't want that for us or any children we may have

Sorry for the long winded rant, it's really upset me.

Sorry if this sounds rude, but you are being too soft.

I have been on my own with 2 kids since I was 24 and have had to harden up. If I hadn't my family would have ruled my every move. (and I don't mean house move)

Next time she says anything, don't give a solution, simply ask her

' Have we invited you to come live with us ?
No we haven't.
Have we asked you to pay for the move ?
No we haven't.
So it really has nothing to do with you does it.
We are both adults, and can decide our future on our own thank you.
I would very much appreciated you kept your opinions to yourself.'
Then smile very sweetly.

It is hard to do, but sometimes these people just need a shock. It will make things awkward for a while , but it will blow over.

My aunt was like that. It shocked her (and the whole family) when I said something similar, but it blew over. She did try it on again some time later, but I cut her off with
' Oh sorry are we starting all that again ?' Big smile The topic was quickly changed.

princesskitty29

Own_My_Own wrote: »

:snow_grin Film4 at 2.40 'It's a Wonderful Life' :snow_grin

Ds got it for me for Christmas,(as it wasn't on over the festive period), but I am sure I can bring myself to watch it this afternoon.

Can you believe I have never seen this film?! I must rectify the situation soon!!!

princesskitty29

Happy birthday for yesterday kayandy , hope you had a fabulous day! :bdaycake:

Fiesty it is your life and you have to do what is right for you and your DH. People always have an opinion about things that are none of their business, you stick to your guns if it's what you want! We're all behind you.

mrsinvisible

Hi, happy birthdays and hugs to all, Feisty fidget, wise words from OMO, or you could try interfering in this relatives life and choices giving unasked-for opinions on what they are doing/planning, tell her you are taking a leaf out of her book and saying what you think, and you are sure she will like it, as it is how she is, and obviously she would like eveyone to be like her.
Just seen the grandlittles on Skype, what a miracle that is, makes me a bit weepy but, I'dcry more if I didn't see them at all.

rosalie-lavender

FeistyFidget wrote: »

Thanks msgigglewick, I did initially think that, but this family member is very proud to state that she says whatever she is thinking. She was making me feel terrible when she was saying that it was irresponsible to move away from the good local hospitals here (DH has heart problems)

If we move an hour away, we can get a 4 bedroom house with a huge garden and conservatory for the same price as a three bedroom flat in a dodgy area here! I tried explaining we want a house we can stay in for the next twenty odd years without having to run out of space and she threw the impulsive insults in my face

Every criticism she had, I had a solution for but apparently we will be miserable living so far out from the hustle and bustle of city life. If we could afford a three bedroom house in an okayish area locally then of course I would stay put, but at the moment it looks like we will be heading back to the rough council estates we grew up on - I don't want that for us or any children we may have

Sorry for the long winded rant, it's really upset me.

It sounds to me Feisty that you are being anything but impulsive. You seem to be thinking it all through very carefully and it sounds like she doesn't like the fact you aren't asking her permission first! I don't honestly see what is impulsive about wanting a bigger house you can settle in for a long time.
Make whatever decision is good for you not anybody else who wants to interfere.
It also seems a bit of a contradiction to me to say you don't think things through and you obsess about things too much. If you are obsessing then surely that is thinking things through, even if it is too much!