Rehab

mae

My brother was a heroin addict for 14 years and I can almost feel your desperateness in your post and I totally empathise with your situation. My parents paid privately twice for my brother to go into rehab, both times failed. As well as all the other money they gave him which I won't go into because I am sure you know what depths they and you end up going to. Its tragic for all concerned. I don't know your brother but for my brother the thing that helped him was us stopping helping him. We started going to Families Anonymous and this gave us the courage and strength to do tough love. We told him he wasn't welcome anymore we had tried for 14 years and could no longer help him. He was turned away repeatedly, we told him we loved him and that when he was clean we would be there 100% to help him rebuild his life with a clean slate no judgements etc etc etc. We realised through the FA that in some ways we had enabled him to carry on with his addiction. We seemed to catch him just before the last bit of the fall, i.e gave him money, paid off dealers, forgave him when he stole off us, wrote letters and pleaded to courts not to send him to prison (didn't always work I think he went to prison 3 times over the years), got him into rehabs etc etc etc... Don't get me wrong it wasn't easy it was horrific and my parents went to hell and back worrying if they would ever forgive themselves if anything happened to him but they just knew there was no where left to go with it.
Anyway it worked (obviously not an easy road but it worked) he has been clean now for 4 years and I have my brother back. Which is amazing as there were times I thought he would die, times I prayed he would die so he could have some peace from this evil drug and life (he was weary, it was so sad). This time is different too as he had a couple of short clean spells over the years and he still didn't seem right in the mind somehow. This time he is truly back with us and happy its amazing.
So I guess my advice is to go somewhere for support for yourselves firstly and also just to point out we heard some stories at FA about addicts going abroad to things like you are suggesting and there was mixed reviews on it. One lady said it was the best thing for her son and he ended up staying about 3 years and working for them for free so he was housed and another lady said her son constantly rang until they got him a flight home, another said her son made his way back without having any funds so goodness knows what he had to do to get home!!!
I wish you so much luck and I hope you, your brother and the rest of your family eventually get some peace from this evil evil drug after all its an illness and it makes me mad when people judge addicts without realising what the bigger picture is about. I'm proud of my brother for coming through what he has its only makes me love him more because he lost 14 years of his life through that evil drug and he went to hell and back it was cruel. By the way my brother is now 39.
Good luck take care

Savvy_Sue

Link for Fam-Anon

I was skimming an article in one of the journals we get at work the other day. Someone who's done extensive research seemed to be saying that slipping into addiction is a gradual path with key points on it, and getting out is similar: mostly people do it on their own, over time. There is help available, but it's mostly incidental to recovery ...

This is not to say that rehab doesn't work, but it only works because the person WANTS it to work, and is READY for what it takes to work.

And from what I've seen, addicts often grasp something as 'the answer', and if only they could get into whichever rehab they've seen as 'the answer', all would be well. In reality, it's not quite like that.

mae

Just bumping this thread to see if Ella found out any more info and how things are?

emmaroids

rehab is for quitters.

anyway well done in getting the money for his treatment and not expecting every taxpayer in the country to do it :money:

Mr_Urdd

check out the link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/5084126.stm

mae

emmaroids... I wish you well in your niavity and I hope that no one in your family ever becomes addicted to anything and you won't have to live the real horror this causes. Some people genuinely don't have any family who can pay for rehab by the way. I wonder whats happened to you to make you so bitter?

emmaroids

i knew this lad who was a sgaghead and he stole of his poor granny who was a nice old lady but that wrecked her life (what was left of it)
since then i have no sympathy for anyone who is so weak willed that they turn to heroin as a get out to there pathetic life, they know they will become addicted so why do they do it??
for attention??
maybe i dunno.

*puts on flame proof cloak*

mae

Emmaroids...
Ignorance is bliss sometimes. In some ways I wish my brother, me and my family never had to live through and then maybe I would have such a niave attitude to why people do get addicted to things. On the other hand maybe in some ways I'm glad of the experince which has led me to train to be a counsellor (not in drug addiction though) and has given me alot of empathy and an ability to see the bigger picture without immediately jumping to judgements.
I'm not really having a go at you its understandable you feel angry for the old lady its horrific what happened to her and its maybe understandable that you have little knowledge and chose to have the opinion you have.

Mandles

Haven't heard about this one but i would personally not go for it. I am pretty experienced now with all this as my brother tried to come off of heroin for years as did his friends and i got really involved trying to help him(involved in helping.not with taking drugs).
My brother had a naltrixone implant(it stops the effect of heroin working) . I would not recommend this either as it had bad side effects like bad depression and his and a another person i know who had it got infected.(he had it done a a top pomous London doctors flash clinic).In the end my brother died as he went back on it . He was very open and honest with me, never stole and told me if he really wanted it again and if he took it which was a good thing to have that confidence and i could support him.
Going away somewhere is an excellent idea , but i don't know about Goa. He has to cut off all his friends that are into drugs and chuck out anything reminding him of it.
I really think as suggested that he have counselling and go to a proper , regular clinic(i know they have a waiting list but get on it now).I had alist of my brothers good friends(not on hard drugs) and they were amazing when he came out of rehab and supportive.
Its good he wants to stop as thats half the battle. My brother and 2 of his friends died from it but i know another 2 that have come off of it and leading normal happy lives . So he can do it.
They seem to need to replace the addiction with something(like alcohol so watch this) and need to be busy so maybe find an interest or course he would like to go on.
If i had my time to save my brother again i'd chuck his mobile phone away so they(dealers) couldn't contact him and visa versa, lock him in a cell for 5 months (i know its probably not recommended lol).I'd also get him to move and get a great job(my brother was happy and clean all the time he worked in London on building sites and had really nice stuff & car but didnt feel he had a social life and hit rock bottom when he packed it in).
Some Gps are pants at helping and i suggest keep switching until you get a good one who understands. He can do it and it sounds great that he has support of people like you.Be aware that my brother lost his fight 3 months after his detox so keep an eye on him at that time.
All the best and i really hope he does it .Wishing you and him lots of strength through this.

mae

Mandles
I am so sorry for you and your brother thats really sad. I really believed I would lose my brother too. You are right about them needing to replace it with something, I think my brother is a touch obsessive he can't keep still. Luckily he went back to college and did Joinery and this is what he does as a job and keeps him busy with DIY at home. He did move out of our town but only a 10 min drive to the next town but it was enough for him I don't think he would have liked to have been further away from the family. Again my sympathies that your brother was one of the unlucky ones. And I hope the OP is doing ok too.
Oh and just a quick note as somebody pointed out ex addicts can often get depressed, my brother takes St Johns Wort and he swears by it he says that before he started taking it he had what he described as a black cloud over him permanantly.