Child being bullied

Treevo

judygarland wrote: »

I'm now 100% sure who it is but my daughter is getting distraught saying that if I report it, she will have loads of problems at school. What i've actually done is sent a message to one of the perputrators saying "own up quick as my mom is going to report the messages to the police in the morning and I dont want anyone to get into trouble". This is definitely going to cause some distress over the holiday and they will be now very worried that the police are going to be knocking on the door. If they had called within half and hour and said "hello, it's me, we're just messing about, then fair enough, but I lost sleep over this last night and I'm not very happy.

Now i've got to the bottom of it, her number is going to be changed and there will be a very select few that will know the number.

It's been interesting to discover that it is possible to find out the number that called you even when it is withheld, but not sure if that's just when a message has been left.

I think you've done exactly the wrong thing. Now when nothing is done to them by the police, your daughter will be seen as an easy target with no protection. Worst still the text reads as if to say that she's terrified of them and doesn't want them getting into trouble.

What on earth possessed you to pretend to be your daughter? You're an adult. Act like one.

moomoomama27

Treevo wrote: »

I think you've done exactly the wrong thing. Now when nothing is done to them by the police, your daughter will be seen as an easy target with no protection. Worst still the text reads as if to say that she's terrified of them and doesn't want them getting into trouble.

What on earth possessed you to pretend to be your daughter? You're an adult. Act like one.

I agree you called their bluff and now they'll see they have the upper and as there will be no police knocking!


It's a sad fact but most teenagers aren't at all phased by the police anyway, most " know their right " so know not a lot will be done about a few texts/ prank calls, and I think they'll now unfortunately see your daughter as a target and it could backfire and escalate upon the new term in January!

shegirl

Oh dear, you're daughter is only going to get worse bullying now

They will seriously take the pee over your text. She'll, no doubt, be a laughing stock.

What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?

meritaten

if this is related to inschool bullying then the school should be told about it - and also told that if not dealt with by them it will be taken to the police.

judygarland

shegirl wrote: »

Oh dear, you're daughter is only going to get worse bullying now

They will seriously take the pee over your text. She'll, no doubt, be a laughing stock.

What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?

I'm confident that we have handled this correctly. I know the parents and the last thing these girls will do is tell everyone what they have done especially their parents. Now I know who it is, I don't think it was intended to be malicious. My dd is not bothered at all now she knows who it is and has just shrugged it off. I've been more upset than she is because I thought it was the girl that has been bullying her.

If I had not found out who it was and I had involved the police, I think my dd would have been the talk of the school. I could have gone to the school and asked them to deal with it, again more grief for my dd.

Maybe I've made a mistake. Only time will tell but I'm sure that two little girls have had a few hours to think about their activities and are now mortified that they have been found out.

emmacollins_2

judygarland wrote: »

I'm now 100% sure who it is but my daughter is getting distraught saying that if I report it, she will have loads of problems at school. What i've actually done is sent a message to one of the perputrators saying "own up quick as my mom is going to report the messages to the police in the morning and I dont want anyone to get into trouble". This is definitely going to cause some distress over the holiday and they will be now very worried that the police are going to be knocking on the door. If they had called within half and hour and said "hello, it's me, we're just messing about, then fair enough, but I lost sleep over this last night and I'm not very happy.

Now i've got to the bottom of it, her number is going to be changed and there will be a very select few that will know the number.

It's been interesting to discover that it is possible to find out the number that called you even when it is withheld, but not sure if that's just when a message has been left.

Id of done exactly the same as you. Hope its turns out ok for her. Being bullied is horrible no one should experience

Sooki

Does the school have an anti bullying policy? If they have and are not adhering to it they are just as bad as the bullies - I'd quote the policy at them and if they still brush you off, write to the board of governors stating what has happened and what you have done to try and rectify the situation asking why the school has failed to act on its own policy. Bullying is abhorrent and needs dealing with quickly, however, be prepared as there are often two sides to a story - I'm curious why your child is not bothered all of a sudden now it's not the person she thought it was. This could be for many reasons, but, it also sounds like a childhood spat thats picked up momentum and got out of hand.

judygarland

Sooki wrote: »

I'm curious why your child is not bothered all of a sudden now it's not the person she thought it was. This could be for many reasons, but, it also sounds like a childhood spat thats picked up momentum and got out of hand.

My dd is being bullied, but it's not by the girls that were messing about on the phone. She reckons these girls are her friends!

Miss_Poohs

In my day it was "sticks and stones", which was bad enough, these days I really feel for the kids there's no respite from bullies at all.

Hope your daughter enjoys her Christmas holiday.

DS4215

judygarland wrote: »

Her phone is now in my possession and she will not be allowed to look at it. There was a text message at midnight last night that read ***splatt***. Not quite sure what that means but I have no doubt it's a kind of pie in the face. I'm going to monitor what comes in and then in the new year I will be changing her number. I never really wanted her to have a phone but she was getting bullied for not having one.

That sounds like the "snowball" chain text thingy that kids send around at this time of year - as in one of her friends/contacts threw a snowball at her and its normally just harmless fun.

Taking her phone off her was not a good move, nor was replying to the messages. You have punished her for telling you that she was having problems making her less likely to come to you in the future.

Plenty of free options exist for Android/Apple phones to block callers/texters that use 1471 to hide their number. If you have one of these phones then see about installing one of those apps.