Would love to be debt free but budget is a nightmare

worried48

poodlegal wrote: »

Once you have got the cat numbers down a bit could you not offer cat boarding as a little spin off if you have cat pens? That could bring a bit extra in.

I don't think so. It would need local authority permission and most of the pens are not up to standard (not heated).

worried48

sueh6 wrote: »

Sit down and talk things through with him and if he won't agree to partner you in life (because that is what were talking about) then you you need to think seriously as nothing will change. He is the bottleneck in all of the issues you discuss........

O he won't talk things through, he has this extremely annoying habit of refusing to discuss things, simply blocking any discussion by saying, repeatedly but calmly, that he won't discuss it. It is extremely effective because it is not possible to discuss things with a brick wall! If ever he does engage in discussion about anything remotely connected with money or with the house his answer is always that it is "your filthy animals" that are the problem. Just now I have found stock on the landing that has been ruined by the cats - this happens frequently. I ask him not to leave stock on the landing but he won't put it in the office or in the spare room (two places the cats are not allowed) because there isn't enough room in there (according to him). There is a broken heater downstairs waiting to be returned to staples, he can't return it because they won't take it in bin liners and he "can't" find a box for it. The empty boxes blocking up the entrance to the spare room, which have been there for weeks and are more than big enough, are needed for his books, allegedly. The garden shed was standing empty for about three years waiting for him to put his books in there. He never did, then he complained bitterly when I had it converted into a cat pen.

Yes it is a problem.

sueh6

(((((hug)))))

OK, now that's out of the way you need to seriously question your own boundaries and why you are with this man. What does he bring to the table, what does he contribute to the relationship? You are carrying him and you know it.

You sound like a businesswoman who has many ideas for making money but who is being held back by someone who is just along for the ride (or perhaps a meal ticket?). I'm sorry if my post offends you, really, but you need to find the strength to look at your own position as closely as you are looking at your financial position. I say you because you are obviously in this alone.

From what I've read you deserve more but you need to take control, if he won't discuss then tell him and tell him straight. "It's my way or the highway" and mean it.

worried48

Apparently his mother used to do that to keep his father in check and it worked. My mother did much the same to my father. Perhaps I should try it.

sueh6

worried48 wrote: »

Apparently his mother used to do that to keep his father in check and it worked. My mother did much the same to my father. Perhaps I should try it.

I tried it - I left my husband after 16 years of marriage and 3 children because he seemed to care for nothing but himself - it took all of my strength to do it. I meant it and went so far as to buy my own home for me and my children. I moved back in to the family home almost 2 years later because he changed not only for me but for himself and his kids and he's stayed that way.

We are now equal and are together for the right reasons - because we want to be and not because we don't want to be alone. I would never go back to how we both were so many years ago but am very happy walking down life's road hand in hand.

rising_from_the_ashes

Ohhhh worried I do feel for you ...... it really needs to be make or break time and I think you need to sit down with DH and make him aware of how things really are..... things can't go on like this ......

You need to try to rehome some of the cats ASAP - have you any ideas how you're going to do this?

All the rescues are absolutely overflowing with animals and a lot have waiting lists / advertising on some sites isn't recommended for getting the best homes for them.

I'm not sure if you're on this forum http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/ but if you post on there, then you should hopefully get some suggestions - there is also a "wanted" section so someone may be looking for a cat like one of yours.

Once you've got the numbers down and things are more manageable - it might be worth getting a few of the runs up to scratch, always room for another, well run cattery......

fallen121

Are you located anywhere near Edinburgh? My OH does removals and clearance at very reasonable rates. I have some experience of book dealing so could maybe provide advice on selling the books or suggest a reputable dealer in your area who could provide a valuation.

worried48

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

You need to try to rehome some of the cats ASAP - have you any ideas how you're going to do this?

Preloved / pets4homes - I would never dump them on a rescue, rescues have far too much to do already and since I bred these cats they are my responsibility. I am not rehoming any this side of Christmas for obvious reasons.

worried48

fallen121 wrote: »

Are you located anywhere near Edinburgh? My OH does removals and clearance at very reasonable rates. I have some experience of book dealing so could maybe provide advice on selling the books or suggest a reputable dealer in your area who could provide a valuation.

No, not at all near Edinburgh! Actually we do know a book dealer, she has the storage unit below ours.

worried48

Husband just came home to find two weeks supply of cat food, ordered in three different orders, all arrived at once and all to be brought inside. He was not happy :rotfl: