Would love to be debt free but budget is a nightmare

FinKite

It's one thing to have a lazy husband, quite another to bow to their wishes.
Why do you keep putting up barriers?
So for some reason you booked an upstairs storage unit when you are disabled... Doesn't it have a lift? They usually do, as people store large and heavy items.
But if you can't do it yourself, fine - but don't make excuses about your husband.
Check your local paper for handyman ads.
Call up, book them - get them to move everything to a room in your house.
If your husband doesn't like it, he can lump it.
It's your house.

sueh6

OK, this is harsh but needs to be said.

Your husband has been unemployed for 30 + years but now has an income from a job that you have given him and he doesn't do it well. He has a huge amount of personal debt which he doesn't disclose to you, he doesn't help you around the house, and obviously doesn't want to be involved in reducing your debt as he's complacent about selling things which could make you money.

You need to look at yourself - nobody on here can blame him when you seem to continually allow him to live this way. You come up with excuse after excuse as to why each suggestion being put to you will not/cannot work.

If you really want to reduce your debt then you need to get real - not just your cats or the storage but your husband - you're carrying him and until that changes you will never be organised.

Again sorry if this is harsh.

cyclura

Sorry to be harsh but you cannot afford the £35 you spend on a cleaner, its not a case of he will refuse to do the cleaning. Its a partnership of love surely and if its something you cant do and you both cant afford then he should be sticking his neck out and going yeah I can do that! We all clean our homes I cannot understand the problem here.

Regarding the cats, I breed an animal too but I do not spend that kind of money on the food, I have spread sheets for all their costings. Its all neatly stored so I have inomings and outgoings. Everything down to their substrate. Do this for a few weeks to get a clearer picture. You need to make some cuts here.

Your husband can get a job, cleaners are never in short demand, no matter the age. I should know He can clean a few mornings a week. Its not something to be ashamed of and they take anyone that is willing to do the job on.

worried48

honey10 wrote: »

I'm really sorry and I don't mean to be rude, but it reads like your husband is the biggest problem of all. It's very sad to read. Can I ask, what type of business it is? Is it something that you could maybe hold a few classes in to raise a little extra on slow weeks?

Online retail. So, no it isn't.

If it was me, and my husband was being so cagey, and being so difficult/unhelpful, with the books, the storage unit etc, I think I'd be listing his books on eBay and using that money to pay someone to clear the unit.

The idea of paying someone to clear the unit (and do other little things like move the summer tyres from the car to the shed .....) has occured to me but last year he went on holiday for a few days and I got my cleaner to do an extra day clearing the office. Husband was not happy at all. Organisation - difficult. He won't even throw empty pop bottles away.

worried48

polesalot wrote: »

You say your husband is cagey about his debt, is no good with paperwork, you do most of the business, he has stock that he refuses to sell and will not help you around the house and has barely worked in the last 30 years. What exactly does he do??

Well, he mans the phone when I am out, and he does the paperwork for the business (in terms of typing out receipts and things).

worried48

FinKite wrote: »

It's one thing to have a lazy husband, quite another to bow to their wishes.
Why do you keep putting up barriers?
So for some reason you booked an upstairs storage unit when you are disabled... Doesn't it have a lift? They usually do, as people store large and heavy items.

No it doesn't. When we took the upstairs unit I was fine, we have had it for years. Husband says the storage place is looking out for a smaller downstairs unit for us so that will help. In fact it looks as if we may be able to re-open trading with a company in China which will mean we have need for some of that space again (but not all of it). If husband ever sends me the details of what we sold this year (so that I can see what we might sell), I will see if this idea is viable. Husband is against it but it would mean a profit increase of around 2% on our sales and would also enable us to make the packages more attractive to the customer. Against that is the storage cost of course but if husband won't get rid of the storage unit at least this would improve things a bit.

If your husband doesn't like it, he can lump it.
It's your house.

It's not quite that easy!

worried48

In theory it should be possible to break even on the cat breeding. I do still need to reduce the numbers though.

I do have one other means of making money - I am a licensed microchipper. I hardly do any now because when I tried advertising on preloved I found the advertising cost me more than I was making - it counts as business advertising. If I could find somewhere to advertise that would work without costing an arm and a leg, I could get more work of this type.

poodlegal

Once you have got the cat numbers down a bit could you not offer cat boarding as a little spin off if you have cat pens? That could bring a bit extra in.

pennies_from_Heaven

worried48 wrote: »

The idea of paying someone to clear the unit (and do other little things like move the summer tyres from the car to the shed .....) has occured to me but last year he went on holiday for a few days and I got my cleaner to do an extra day clearing the office. Husband was not happy at all. Organisation - difficult. He won't even throw empty pop bottles away.
[/FONT]

I don't very often post on here, but something about the above made me feel compelled to.
I feel for you - from what you have written it seems that you know the issues are really with your other half, which others have posted.
A marriage is a partnership, which it seems he is not willing to see, it looks to me from what you have written that you are quite aware of this on some level.
Now many of us shy away from rocking the boat in relationships, (me included tbh) but for yourself, your sanity and your health not to mention financial well being it looks like the time has come for you - you must sit him down and talk, and get things out in the open.
You will not be able to move forward and sort things unless he is prepared to make some sort of an effort, I'm afraid if it was me I'd be giving him some sort of ultimatum - sort it together or the end of the road for the realtionship.
I'm quite cross actually for you! He's taking you for granted and I'd also be questioning what is he hiding?
As others have said, its going to stay the same or get worse otherwise. You deserve a more equal part in your marriage.
And a holiday for him, and no cleaner for you???
When did you last have a little holiday? I bet not for a long time because you actually care about your situation....
I hope the above doesn't offend you, but now's the time to think about yourself not your husband, as he has done for so long, unless you are prepared to stay the same for the forseeable future.
You desrve better!! :A

sueh6

worried48 wrote: »

Online retail. So, no it isn't.

The idea of paying someone to clear the unit (and do other little things like move the summer tyres from the car to the shed .....) has occured to me but last year he went on holiday for a few days and I got my cleaner to do an extra day clearing the office. Husband was not happy at all. Organisation - difficult. He won't even throw empty pop bottles away.
[/FONT]

We accept the love we think we deserve.......

But you deserve better!! Sit down and talk things through with him and if he won't agree to partner you in life (because that is what were talking about) then you you need to think seriously as nothing will change. He is the bottleneck in all of the issues you discuss........