This will send shivers up your back

Yogibear

what a selfish toerag,honestly!!:mad:

longforgotten

Yep she's definitely time-serving !

As for my in-laws I wish they would spend their money and have a good time.

If my husband and I can't earn enough money to look after ourselves then that's our look out.

longforgotten

I reckon if you're used to saving all your life it must be difficult to change your ways and spend it.

Any ideas how I could encourage the in-laws to splash out on themselves ?

margaretclare

longforgotten wrote: »

I reckon if you're used to saving all your life it must be difficult to change your ways and spend it.

Any ideas how I could encourage the in-laws to splash out on themselves ?

Well, it depends on what they like doing. Don't automatically suggest a 'world cruise', which, I've been told, is shorthand for older people spending money on themselves. While some enjoy a world cruise or the like, some of us would consider it hell on earth.

Find out, by tactful conversation, whether there are things they always wanted to do. Have they got relatives in other countries, for example, that they'd like to visit? It may not be only the money that is holding them back - the thought of making all the arrangements for people who've never travelled, may be daunting. It's easy to make bookings and arrange flights etc online - they may not have thought of that.

What are their hobbies - what do they enjoy? It's not just a matter of spending money just for the sake of it. There must be something they'd like to do but haven't ever thought of affording it!

We're a pair of wrinklies who are still saving - actually, we're saving more now than we were ever able to in our entire lives before! We're saving because we don't know what the future holds, what we may need in the future. But we also have plans. When we get a couple of health problems sorted, we're planning to cross by ferry from Harwich - Hook of Holland and then drive slowly up the Rhine valley from Rotterdam to Bodensee. The advantage of retirement, you see, is that we have all the time in the world and no one expects us back at work 8 am sharp Monday morning! We like to stop and have lunch where we like, stay overnight when we see a nice place, those kind of things. There are a lot of historic places up the Rhine valley that I want to see, and we don't want to be forced to stop at one of the Calais hypermarkets (which happened on a Christmas holiday we went on - that won't be repeated). Cruises, coach tours, not our scene at all. Other people enjoy them. As I said, it depends what your in-laws like!

Are they keen gardeners, perhaps? Would they like one of those holidays where you visit famous gardens?

Just a few ideas - hope it helps.

Margaret

Gem_

In terms of inheritance I have no doubt that my parents will spend every penny and leave me with nothing .... and I wouldn't wish it any other way. It is their money and they should spend it how they wish!

I was as appaulled by the OPs attitude.

Gem

andipandi_2

Errata wrote: »

Thank goodness I'm a war baby, these baby boomers are nasty pieces of work with no morals, values or ethics. And guess who brought them up !

hang on a minute i am a baby boomer but ahh guess who bought me up?

jennpenf

I have a brother who is extremely wealthy (millions), he has two children. I have one. He will never earn huge amounts due to his job. I earn a salary and have a house with a mortgage and a final salary pension, but that's it. My parents have made a will in which their house and savings are split so that my brother and I have an equal share and the grandchildren all receive the same. I am totally comfortable with this. it's up to them to do what they want, and I think they want to show that they love us equally. They have, though, pointed out that a deed of variation can be made with the agreement of all, if my brother wants me to have more.

And we're 'baby boomers' btw!

Jen

mike_the_bike_2

You know on reflection I actually feel sorry for that woman that wrote that original post....If the overwhelming response had been from folk agreeing with her and suggesting ways of her getting her hands on the loot it would have made me very depressed as a reflection on the values in our society..

The fact that the "poor" woman has been almost universally condemmed for her money/money/money/money outlook suggests there is hope for us all..

My dear mum who is now in her 80's and still in good health has though hard work and graft (widowed in late 40's and left no money/pension) aquired through a go without culture a substantial amount of savings..She has never claimed any benefits etc but at the moment there will be a substantial amount of IHT tax to pay when she leaves this earth..

I want her to spend spend spend and to enjoy what she's got rather than leave it to the government or me for that matter

..any ideas on what to spend the money on for HERSELF ??

margaretclare

Hi Mike

I've answered this type of question already to someone else in this thread. Has your Mum ever expressed a wish for anything she'd like to do/anywhere she'd like to go, a place or people she'd like to see? Has she any relatives who live in far-flung places? Would she love to see some foreign beauty-spot that maybe she's read about and would love to see?

I've known a few older people who've said things like 'oh, I've always thought I'd like to....' but there are always reasons why not. Not always to do with lack of money, often it's just not knowing how to go about it, how easy it is to pick up the phone and make bookings, arrange transport door-to-door, it can all be done.

I can sympathise with your Mum. I'm nearly 72 and DH and I are still saving because we don't know what we may need in time to come. We're able to save more now than at any time in either of our lives before. We live simply, comfortably, don't spend money just for the sake of spending, but we do enjoy life too. There are many, many beautiful places close to home, but equally, there are places across the world. Your Mum must have expressed SOME ideas!

Best wishes

Margaret

pulliptears

That thread amazed me. I cant believe she is worrying over who will get what when they are still alive!

My father is terminally ill, they dont have a lot of spare money and to be honest I wouldnt want it if they had. I would much prefer they used whatever money they have on being comfortable while they are alive. Her children are her responsibility, not her in laws!

I wonder if she has considered what would happen to all her lovely money should one of her in laws become ill? What if MIL dies and FIL needs permenant care? Would she take him in and care for him rather than see the money go in care home fees? A tough decision I think for her...

BTW, Im 33 and an only child, but OH has a Sister who is sworn never to have kids! It had never occured to me to even consider the fairness of my inlaws will. Normal families just arent like that are they?
My FIL is a hoarder and has a double garage full of "treasure" aka junk. SIL and I often joke about which one of us will have to empty it should he "pop off"!!!

Family and happiness are everything, they need to be enjoyed.