Am i the only one who thinks this a beyond stupid idea?!

shegirl

*zippy* wrote: »

My Parents have an elderly neighbour in her 80's who lost her husband and dog within a few months of each other. The family weren't happy, but my Father helped her get a small dog, my Father walks it, takes it to be groomed and the vets, has it if she is out for the day and the lady has put it in her will he will have it.

It has been a couple of years now and worked out great, the lady has some company and the dog has two houses that adore her. It is a similar situation to your grandads that has been worked out just by someone willing to help out. I hope you can sort something too as it sounds like the poor dog is in need of a loving home x

Aww! What a lovely, thoughtful man your father is

3v3

beth.stephenson2009 wrote: »

Stop trying to make it seem that I want him to be miserable ..... I don't need you making me feel bad for considering taking something I am concerned that will make my grandfathers health (and possibly kill him) worse...

I don't think anyone is trying to make it appear that you want your Grandfather to be miserable; rather, your post came across explaining all the negative sides to him having this dog and posters are offering the opposite side: it could actually be good for him.

Not sure how the dog is going to kill him though :huh:

beth.stephenson2009 wrote: »

.... It is the last thing I want to do otherwise I would be going around there tomorrow with a dog stocking for it and I wouldn't of brought him a dog coat as a christmas present...

A doggie coat is a cute idea for a Christmas present
Bearing in mind your concerns about your Grandad's limitations in bending and pooper scooping, perhaps a more suitable gift would be one of these? Long armed poop scoop

beth.stephenson2009 wrote: »

.... Not to mention- if she didn't want him to be lonely she could get off her !!!! and go and visit more than once in a blue moon. It isn't like I live around the corner- it is a good 15 minute drive away.

It does sound as though you are quite cross with your Aunt.

I don't want to offend, but, I think this is where your youth does limit your thinking (just a little). Loneliness isn't simply about someone visiting more than "once in a blue moon". Loneliness can be a state of mind, not necessarily lack of human company. People can feel lonely in crowded rooms. Dogs offer a level of companionship (and an interactive one at that!) which is on a completely different level and far removed from the misunderstandings, petty squabbles/major rifts we encounter with people.

I believe your Aunt was well intentioned; and it would appear that the dog chosen was more appropriate than first imagined; plus, she had made sure that if things were not successful, that the dog could be returned. Maybe not ideal, but at least she had considered it and wasn't being wholely reckless about the whole issue.

I do understand you, and your Mum, live a 15 minute drive away (a 30 minute round trip) which would mean trips to Grandad would need to be thought through .... but .... when all the dust settles .... it won't seem such a journey.

con1888

Can I suggest one of these for the poop if that is a problem

http://www.petplanet.co.uk/product.asp?dept_id=132&pf_id=7783&co=fr

splishsplash

I think you have valid concerns, OP. An 85 year old man in poor health with little experience of animals would not be my first choice as a dog owner. You are right to be concerned about the welfare of the dog. If your grandad has difficulty bending over, then obviously feeding and watering the dog may be problematic, as might cleaning up messes. Yes, you are right to think your aunt might have chosen her gift more wisely.

However, with a little support, it could be made to work, and could end up being hugely beneficial to both man and dog.

The question is are you willing to help make it work, or are you just going to tut tut your disapproval and be smugly satisfied if it all goes pear-shaped?
The choice is yours, really. You are in the unique position to see all the potential pitfalls, so you are also well-placed to put in place plans to forestall them.

With relatively little effort, you and your mum have the chance to turn this into a positive thing for everyone, or you can sit back and think about how right you were if your smitten grandad can't care for the elderly dog. Which will make you the better person?

Toomuchdebt

Just wanted to point out something...a 15 minute drive is nothing-I do that and more every day just to get the kids to school..if it was 3 hours away that's different but 15 minutes?Come on.You could even walk it in about 40.Or get a bus.That's a pretty poor excuse in my opinion for not being able to pop in more often.

3v3

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Just wanted to point out something...a 15 minute drive is nothing-I do that and more every day just to get the kids to school..if it was 3 hours away that's different but 15 minutes?Come on.You could even walk it in about 40.Or get a bus.That's a pretty poor excuse in my opinion for not being able to pop in more often.

Taking your children to school is all part and parcel of being a parent, choice of location and isn't really comparable to the OP's situation

It is my understanding that the OP is only young herself (20yrs old) and cannot readily assume, nor should she, the responsibilities of someone with greater life experience; if anything, it is her mother who may fall into the category of finding it poor excuse and surely not the grand daughter, as it is her father? Equally, none of us are privvy to the full facts and circumstances of the mother, or grand daughter's, lifestyle/commitments and are not in a position to judge whether it is practicable or not.

Leaving the dog issues aside (just for a moment) it would be easy to assume that contact between the OP, her mother and grandfather would be relatively frequent given the proximity; and that may well be the case. However, Aunt has thrown a further responsibility into the mix and it is this which is of concern to the OP. A 15 minute journey one way may only have required a 15 minute visit (assumed; not fact!) thus, less than an hour; but, to add any extra burden of time may simply not be reasonable if it entails doggy duties in addition to father/grandad responsibilities.

I cannot see that targeting the OP on her time is of any help; advice on methods, techniques, and positive assistance is, most likely, more than welcome.

I do agree that, in the grand scheme of things, the time comes when a 15 journey pales into insignificance; but, that is another debating point, one of maturity, and not the core issue?

It does appear to me that the OP's mother is against the idea; OP is loyal to mother and both are still quite angry at Aunt for making this decision without (in their view) thinking it through. Because they are cross, being "supportive" hasn't become a topic - yet! The OP was asking, initially, for agreement that supported the view of herself and her mother. The thread has highlighted an alternative point of view, which OP and her mother may need a bit of time/experience/convincing that it may be a valid one.

The travelling issue is merely one aspect (certainly easy to overcome: if you have experience of it) but the OP is only 20yrs old and has limited life experience (to date!). I just think picking on this solitary point is nit picking at best, and unhelpful at worst.

meritaten

I understand where OP is coming from when she says that owning a dog may kill her granddad.
He is ASTHMATIC! now, however much he loves the dog - the dogs very fact of being there could cause an asthma attack - which in an elderly gentleman could be fatal if he couldnt get to the phone to get help. and I am not being over-dramatic - over 2000 deaths a year from Asthma - so its a real worry for this young woman!
I notice that all you dog-lovers conveniently forgot that bit of her Original Post! while you were busy sniping at her and chastising her for not taking full responsibility for this dog.
I hope this works out for the old gent, and the dog, I really do. But, its unfair on the OP and her mum who now has an additional worry about 'granddad'.

zaksmum

So how did it go? Did he get the dog on Christmas Day?

lilymay1

That 'Grandad' ignored the OP's suggestions regarding flee treatment speaks volumes in my opinion. If he can't be bothered to treat flees, the poor dog stands little chance of seeing a vet for anything else which, as an old dog, could be quite often.

85 year old inexperienced dog owners shouldn't be getting a pooch as a Christmas present. He can look after the dog no better than a 5 year old.

krlyr

lilymay1 wrote: »

That 'Grandad' ignored the OP's suggestions regarding flee treatment speaks volumes in my opinion. If he can't be bothered to treat flees, the poor dog stands little chance of seeing a vet for anything else which, as an old dog, could be quite often

Exactly my concern. At 11 years old this dog could soon suffer from age-related health issues, if it isn't suffering joint problems already Has it been checked out by a vet? I once heard that pets (and people) don't die of "old age" - there is a medical condition for every cause of death. It may be that the age makes their heart weaker, but it would be heart failure that caused the death. Basically, the idea is that any "old age" ailment should be checked out as there may be treatments available, to ease or cure. This dog has problems walking - rather than deem it "old age", there may well be plenty a vet could do - anti-inflammatories for arthritic-related swelling in the joints, painkillers to make the dog more comfortable, joint supplements and an exercise plan to strengthen the joint and muscles.
If the OP's grandfather shrugs off an obvious, easily-treated and cheap problem like fleas then what are the chances of him seeking other medical treatment?

Someone else mentioned to the Cinnamon Trust - it may be worth OP checking out these kinds of organisations and also to see whether he would qualify for PDSA treatment too, so that at the very least the dog may get the medical care needed (volunteers may be happy to take the dog for its vet visit if the grandfather sorts the registration out and gives a small donation for them to offer)

Yes, the dog may be just what OP's grandfather needs, but is he what the dog needs? Being old is no excuse for not providing the care a dog needs, which includes medical care when needed.