Am i the only one who thinks this a beyond stupid idea?!

hethmar

If there is a problem with him walking the dog, you could try Cinammon Trust or your local Age Concern to see if a volunteer is available.

iammarmite

Person_one wrote: »

Technically, no its not her problem.

However, imagine it was something else that made her elderly grandfather happy and just required a little bit of help from family to make it happen. Imagine it was a club they had to drive him to, or a hobby he needed a bit of help with, imagine that he needed just a tiny bit of their time and energy to stay in his own home rather than a care home, would 'its not my problem' be acceptable then?

When families love and care about each other, they do things to help out and to make each other happy even though they don't technically have to. Its sort of the point.

Lots of people do all sorts of tasks and favours for elderly relatives, plenty of which are far more onerous than putting a bit of flea treatment on a dog every 3 months!

You are acting as if the OP doesn't care about this elderly man. If that was the case, why would she of started this thread in the first place voicing her concerns? At the end of the day- a dog is a dog. Its an animal. Not a human being.

She is obviously concerned with a grandfathers health and what this animal could do it- that speaks that she cares to me. Some people are being just down right rude- it isn't very nice to come onto a website with a genuine concern and have this backlash thrown in your face. You know the quote "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?"

I get some people care about animals more than others and see them as important as humans which is maybe your problem- but at the end of the day I think it is a beyond stupid idea to give this elderly gentleman with a bad chest, mobility issues and the inability to bend down properly a dog- regardless of its age.

OP- you said yourself your Grandad is "smitten" with this dog...so yes, it would be cruel to take it away. But if he can't cope then you need to take steps to make it so he can go back to a lifestyle where he CAN cope. He won't be around very long at his age (sorry to say it!) and his last years shouldn't be spent in a struggle.

He has only obviously had the animal for a couple of days or a week so this hasn't got to the stage where I believe you can make the decision "yes he can cope" or "no he can't cope".

To the person who said the OP lives a few minutes away- I can't find in this thread where she has said that. Also not fair on the OP to jump to conclusions and make assumptions about her situation. For all we know she could be a secret agent working 24 hour shifts 6 days a day or whatever- because her aunt has made the decision to buy this dog doesn't mean she should drop her responsibilities to go and care for this dog. Maybe she take her fair share, yes- but you are all making her sound like now her grandad has this dog she has to become a babysitter for it.

With regard to this flea treatment- she told her Grandad. I know if it was mine he would want to do things himself and not want someone else to do it for him, maybe the OPs grandad is the same- therefore she is thinking about what he wants. Another sign to me that she cares. She sounds like she has a stubborn family (I don't mean to cause offense here OP!) and I can hand on heart say I know what that is like. I understand some of you probably don't.

Maybe someone of you need to re think/re word some of the things you say- because I know I find some of it a little intimidating, as I said earlier not all of us are "experts" when it comes to animals. Some of us haven't had them as long, some of us don't spend as much time with our animals and know as much about them as others. I'm sure the OP is a little upset by some of these comments and she only came and asked for advice- a little harsh I have to say.
I do understand that some get wound up about situations like this because of your love for animals and what could happen to this dog otherwise...but the OP doesn't sound like a monster in my eyes so please don't try and make her out to be. It sounds to me she has genuine concerns about her grandfather, and god bless you for that OP.

Maybe just something to keep into consideration.

Spottedleopard

While I agree with the jist of what you are saying iammarmite..I also say I have to agree that maybe the OP has to be the bigger person here and go and help out.

However with that being said you dont actually know if he needs that help and it is a little unfair of you OP to assume he cant cope without you actually seeing if he can or not. Unless there is something else about his circumstances that you haven't mentioned here.

Maybe it is none of my business but the fact that his wife is in a nursing home says he cant cope with her. I know that was the case with my grandparents.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Spottedleopard wrote: »

While I agree with the jist of what you are saying iammarmite..I also say I have to agree that maybe the OP has to be the bigger person here and go and help out.

However with that being said you dont actually know if he needs that help and it is a little unfair of you OP to assume he cant cope without you actually seeing if he can or not. Unless there is something else about his circumstances that you haven't mentioned here.

Maybe it is none of my business but the fact that his wife is in a nursing home says he cant cope with her. I know that was the case with my grandparents.

One person with dementia, for example, is a whole lot harder to cope with than a whole pack of hounds. One healthy person in a bad mood is hard enough, never mind one with medical issues. Animals are easy, compared to humans.

So it could be he can't do the job of qualified nursing and care staff 24 hours a day in response to a serious illness. Not many of us can. But you don't have to do anything near as much for one animal.

beth.stephenson2009

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

One person with dementia, for example, is a whole lot harder to cope with than a whole pack of hounds. One healthy person in a bad mood is hard enough, never mind one with medical issues. Animals are easy, compared to humans.

So it could be he can't do the job of qualified nursing and care staff 24 hours a day in response to a serious illness. Not many of us can. But you don't have to do anything near as much for one animal.

You obviously don't agree with what I have to say so why don't you unsubscribe from this thread and leave me alone? Clear to me we aren't going to see each others point of views so I don't see the need for you to continue to post in here because quite frankly all your doing is winding me up and upsetting me which is totally unnecessary.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

beth.stephenson2009 wrote: »

You obviously don't agree with what I have to say so why don't you unsubscribe from this thread and leave me alone? Clear to me we aren't going to see each others point of views so I don't see the need for you to continue to post in here because quite frankly all your doing is winding me up and upsetting me which is totally unnecessary.

I never subscribed in the first place.

If somebody disagreeing with you upsets you so much, you probably aren't best placed to be posting threads asking everybody to agree with you when the situation is not necessarily so cut and dried as that.



Of course, maybe you could visit your grandfather every single day to make sure he doesn't come home to a silent, empty house every time he's back from visiting the woman he loves, knowing she can't be with him anymore. Might be a bit hard for you to manage being there for him in the dark hours before dawn when many people feel most alone, though. They're the really hard times, when the silence is so intense, the house so cold and empty.


Perhaps you haven't ever experienced living alone yet. And if you have, it's been by choice, not because your partner of many years has gone. Even your mum hasn't, if you still live with her.



That little dog could comfort him in those times when you simply can't. The dog has known little comfort itself, now it has someone who adores it, just as it reaches the later years.

To desire company, unqualified love, love that doesn't declare you're stupid, beyond stupid, even, that's a perfectly normal thing your granddad wants. If I lived nearby, Hell, I'd go and give him a hand, it's not much to do for a lonely old boy and his dog.


I'm not picking on you - I think you are wrong. Two entirely separate things.

shegirl

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I never subscribed in the first place.

If somebody disagreeing with you upsets you so much, you probably aren't best placed to be posting threads asking everybody to agree with you when the situation is not necessarily so cut and dried as that.



Of course, maybe you could visit your grandfather every single day to make sure he doesn't come home to a silent, empty house every time he's back from visiting the woman he loves, knowing she can't be with him anymore. Might be a bit hard for you to manage being there for him in the dark hours before dawn when many people feel most alone, though. They're the really hard times, when the silence is so intense, the house so cold and empty.


Perhaps you haven't ever experienced living alone yet. And if you have, it's been by choice, not because your partner of many years has gone. Even your mum hasn't, if you still live with her.



That little dog could comfort him in those times when you simply can't. The dog has known little comfort itself, now it has someone who adores it, just as it reaches the later years.

To desire company, unqualified love, love that doesn't declare you're stupid, beyond stupid, even, that's a perfectly normal thing your granddad wants. If I lived nearby, Hell, I'd go and give him a hand, it's not much to do for a lonely old boy and his dog.


I'm not picking on you - I think you are wrong. Two entirely separate things.

I agree. I think it's great that they have each other in old age, with both being slow and needing some company.

beth.stephenson2009

Stop trying to make it seem that I want him to be miserable- I don't. I think you need to pull your head out and see my point of view. I think thats your problem...you can't see anyone elses point of view. I can see yours but what your relating is different to this situation and you are trying to make out to be this person that I am not.

I get that my aunt brought him the dog so he wasn't lonely- but she clearly didn't think about the consequences that it could have. I came here from advice hoping that people who had experience with this sort of thing would be able to tell me what they did and what they thought. I don't need you making me feel bad for considering taking something I am concerned that will make my grandfathers health (and possibly kill him) worse. It is the last thing I want to do otherwise I would be going around there tomorrow with a dog stocking for it and I wouldn't of brought him a dog coat as a christmas present. Not to mention- if she didn't want him to be lonely she could get off her !!!! and go and visit more than once in a blue moon. It isn't like I live around the corner- it is a good 15 minute drive away.

shegirl

beth.stephenson2009 wrote: »

Stop trying to make it seem that I want him to be miserable- I don't. I think you need to pull your head out and see my point of view. I think thats your problem...you can't see anyone elses point of view. I can see yours but what your relating is different to this situation and you are trying to make out to be this person that I am not.

I get that my aunt brought him the dog so he wasn't lonely- but she clearly didn't think about the consequences that it could have. I came here from advice hoping that people who had experience with this sort of thing would be able to tell me what they did and what they thought. I don't need you making me feel bad for considering taking something I am concerned that will make my grandfathers health (and possibly kill him) worse. It is the last thing I want to do otherwise I would be going around there tomorrow with a dog stocking for it and I wouldn't of brought him a dog coat as a christmas present. Not to mention- if she didn't want him to be lonely she could get off her !!!! and go and visit more than once in a blue moon. It isn't like I live around the corner- it is a good 15 minute drive away.

15 minutes? Is that all?:eek:

The issue I have is your comments about wanting to contact the RSPCA etc,you were already thinking about it before he even got the dog!

It's an old dog that's slow,it won't need or want long walks like that.

If your grandad has trouble bending over to pick up poo so be it.

If the dog is at home on it's own for a couple of hours a day, while your grandad visits the nursing home -so be it. Many people leave their dog for periods of time while they work, go shopping, visit friends etc.

If there is anything he needs help with, regarding the dog, I'm sure you and others can help him!

*zippy*

My Parents have an elderly neighbour in her 80's who lost her husband and dog within a few months of each other. The family weren't happy, but my Father helped her get a small dog, my Father walks it, takes it to be groomed and the vets, has it if she is out for the day and the lady has put it in her will he will have it.

It has been a couple of years now and worked out great, the lady has some company and the dog has two houses that adore her. It is a similar situation to your grandads that has been worked out just by someone willing to help out. I hope you can sort something too as it sounds like the poor dog is in need of a loving home x