My kids will only ever own a property if their g/parents leave them massive amount

wherediditallgo

Don't feel bad, Melissa, they've made the decision of their own free will rather than been guilt-tripped/harassed into it. It's their money to do with as they please. As long as your grandparents make their intentions very clear & everything is legal, neither they nor you have anything to worry about. After all, if the relationships were that good now, the stay-aways would know how much you're doing & would have started doing a bit more themselves, wouldn't they? They don't care now, so why should you?

If other family members are going to argue about it, so be it, but don't let that concern you. It seems to be those who moan the most about not getting an inheritance they expected are often the same ones who did the least when the person was alive. You're so lucky to have your grandparents - I never knew mine, so I 'adopted' a local man when I was about 9 (he must have been at least 60, but he seemed REALLY old to me at that age ) & I used to call him my granddad. My dad thought I was mad calling a total stranger my granddad, but this man treated me like I was related - I loved visiting him, & he loved seeing me, hearing my tales of rubbish when I was a child, my moans about boyfriends when I was older (conversations not for my father's ears ). I used to make a point of visiting him or ringing him at least once a month, & would sometimes spend the weekend with him even in my thirties. When he died a few years ago, he left me a silver box, a picture of him & his war medals - the note with the medals said "You're the sort of person I fought the war for, & I'm glad I survived it, otherwise I'd never have known you". I howled buckets. He had no property, as by then he was in a council nursing home, so the rest of what he had went to his favourite charities, his sister & a nephew. His children found out he'd died from me, because they didn't even give the nursing home up-to-date contact details for themselves. I was there for the reading of the will, but when they heard what I'd got & that they'd got nothing, they went mad. They'd not bothered with him in years (he said the only time he saw them at the nursing home was the day he moved in ), yet they tried to contest the will, even coming round to my home telling me I had no right to what he'd left me, so I told them to go to law if they felt it that necessary. They got nowhere with that, & cost themselves loads of legal expenses into the bargain.

For years I've said "blood is thicker than water, but so is !!!!!!", so don't let the fact that they're family prey on your mind. You will come across greedy people wherever you go in life. Deal with them with as politely as you can when you meet them, & be glad to say goodbye when you part.

Melissa177

That is a lovely story.

Tiger_greeneyes

It is, isn't it!

I find it bizarre how the man's own children couldn't be bothered with him Conversely, how can anyone leave their children? There was an article on Jeremy Vine yesterday and it struck a chord with me - my own mum left when I was 14 and didn't keep in touch - I got a letter a couple of years ago (after 25 years) so we're catching up now.

I was going to say that life can be weird, but it's not life that's odd, it's people!

Daisies

Just let them do what they want with the money, it's theirs after all.

Conversely I used to get dragged off to visit various great-aunts and uncles when I was little and was regularly given a £2 or £3 on a visit (which Mum used to save up for me!) but as I got older I'd get a £10 note in a birthday card. Then as I got busier - A Levels, then off to university, one great-aunt switched to sending a birthday card with a message in it saying I'd get a £10 if I visited (OK, she didn't quite phrase it like that, but that was the gist!). Now I'd always loathed visiting her as she's very prissy, was very bad with children when I was little, and moans non-stop about how awful her life is (it isn't, she just doesn't have much to think about and is completely self-centred), whereas other elderly relatives are kind and gentle and talk about interesting things as well as themselves and don't expect to be visited (which I'm more than happy to do for them!). So I haven't seen my prissy great-aunt for about 8 years, I don't like the idea of being bribed to see her and I'm not interested in her money.

Romani_Ite_Domum

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

My kids are 9 and 12 now.

I am desperately worried for their future as I don't think they'll ever get on the housing ladder and rents are so high for anywhere decent.

We are are in the fortunate position of being practically mortgage free (2 more years) but it's still not a good enough position to buy another house as the rents wouldn't cover the mortgage. I can't see how many BTLs succeed these days.

As well as saving for their future education it would be nearly impossible to save say £60,000 for each of our children to have a deposit, although we are going to try very hard if possible.

miss bargainmaid... if you are still out there, just ignoring the rest of your post for a mo. I think you are feeling what a lot of parents are feeling right now. How will my children ever afford a decent home in the future if the current trend continues. Hopefully it won't.

If you really feel strongly about this, a good idea would be to write to your MP or Gordon Brown and ask why he has run the economy this way and how will the next generation survive. Just miss out the inheritance bit

Nice little piece from the Gaurdian

http://www.guardian.co.uk/leaders/story/0,,2069145,00.html

Oh to get back to normality

irene_white

i think i am repeating what others are saying, it is not up to you to decide who gets what , i would leave well alone unless you want to cause bad feeling within the family, hopefully it will be a long time before the boys have to settle their parents estate and that is a hard enough time and your husband will need your support not someone harping on about his share of the inheritance

janthemum

I feel there is something quite wrong thinking of relying on inheritance. I am in a slightly similar situation; but there is no question my mothers estate should be divided between her three children, despite the fact Im the "poor" one with kids and my brother and sister dont have kids and dont intend to but never crossed my mind inheritance being anything other than equal share. I n fact I find it very unpleasant even thinking of it....greed comes to mind. Get your kids to concentrate on education etc etc and in the end if they are happy that is the most important thing in life.

smudger1946

Pretty selfish i reckon.
Whatever and whenever you get anything it will be a bonus.
Live your life as you would without the thought that you may come into money, it may never happen you could go first.
The children should have to make there own way in life.
I will use all my thousand's, if, when i die there is some left they will be more than welcome.
I have a life to live now ,not my childrens, when i'm gone they can have whats left.
Dont take offence at the above; it is just a different view on life

Generali

FWIW, I believe in a 100% inheritence tax. There's no moral basis for inherience. I don't believe a person should have vast wealth because their xtimes-great grandfather was the illigitimate son of Charles II.

pickles110564

Generali wrote: »

FWIW, I believe in a 100% inheritence tax. There's no moral basis for inherience. I don't believe a person should have vast wealth because their xtimes-great grandfather was the illigitimate son of Charles II.

You would not think this way if you got off your a@rse and make some money only for the Scottish crook to steal it from you