My kids will only ever own a property if their g/parents leave them massive amount

Bogof_Babe

It has just occurred to me that there is an element of this dilemma in our own situation. We are sort of waiting for the cat (aged 19) to die, because we can then get the campervan we've been hankering after and have a few holidays. (He's never been put in a cattery and is too old to come with us).

It doesn't make us horrible people though, because nature dictates that everything and everyone has their life span. We would no more have the cat put to sleep than any of the posters on here would have their parents or grandparents euthenaised (?), but is it such a bad thing to plan ahead?

When my time comes I hope I leave enough for a decent send-off, but after that my husband (in the first instance), then my nephew and niece are welcome to it. You really cannot take it with you. If you show proper love and respect to people while they are alive, that is all they can expect really, and they won't know any different after they have passed on.

susy_2

margaretclare wrote: »

The ones I mean are in the private sector but where local councils send people who have no funding of their own. I was appalled by how people were treated. 2 things stand out - one was a home 40 miles out of London, deep in the Essex countryside with farmland views, peopled mainly by residents whose whole lives had been spent among streets, buses, cinemas, who were far from any relatives who might visit them. The London boroughs sent them out of London because it was cheaper. The other thing is the practice of starting to 'get residents up' from 5 am. I was always asking 'Why?' and was told 'We have to get a certain number of them up and have them ready for breakfast before the day staff come on, they expect us to, and unless we start at 5 am we can't get enough of them up'. This practice may or may not still go on, but from what I hear little has changed. This is what you can look forward to if you take the view that 'the state will look after me'.
Margaret

I too worked in 'care' homes for some years. I worked the evening shift and had the problem of getting the residents ready and in bed at 6pm, even when they told us they did not want to go to bed at this time. The reason? We had to clean the kitchen and prepare for the meals the next day. I was also 'caught' chatting to a resident one day (as I was passing them by) by the owner, who told me in no uncertain terms that I was being paid to work, not to chatter!

I think it is wrong that we should have to fund the 'best possible care homes', I believe (although it will never happen) that these should be our right and that while we have a system that encourages payment for better care, a section of the population (who can not afford it) are always going to be badly treated. Although I am very often against regulation (we have far too much), I think this is one area in which it should be increased.

seven-day-weekend

My mum was in a Council-run home; she loved it, made new friends and never went to bed until she was ready. The night she died, the care manager brought more people in to work so that the extra care my mum needed would be given.

By contrast, a friend of mine who worked in a private home, was threatened with the sack for sitting with an old lady who was dying and had no relatives to sit with her.

Is this unusual?

cells

i haven’t read the whole 14 pages so hopefully someone has already mentioned this



you don’t want to pay the hefty inheritance tax!!
get ur husband to talk to his mum/dad, get professional advice about it!


with 400k home and 100k savings your looking at some 100k in TAX



also in my opinion it is only fair that it is split up 50:50 between the brothers, you can not give one less because he is earning more ect.


Also, you probably want to save some £60k per child for university. Thanks to labour it seems we are moving away from totally free (under the tories) to a fee based system (3k + living costs under labor). If by the time they enter university the natives pay as much as the foreign students then it will cost 15-20k PA just for tuition.

susy_2

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

By contrast, a friend of mine who worked in a private home, was threatened with the sack for sitting with an old lady who was dying and had no relatives to sit with her.

Is this unusual?

No! On another occasion in the home we had a fairly youngish resident arrive with cancer (why to an elderly care home I never did find out). He became quickly bedridden and seemed to have very few visitors. I felt absolutely dreadful because I could not give him time to 'feed' him his drink. There were only 2 of us looking after 30+ residents. It put me off care homes for life.

margaretclare

susy wrote: »

I too worked in 'care' homes for some years. I worked the evening shift and had the problem of getting the residents ready and in bed at 6pm, even when they told us they did not want to go to bed at this time. The reason? We had to clean the kitchen and prepare for the meals the next day. I was also 'caught' chatting to a resident one day (as I was passing them by) by the owner, who told me in no uncertain terms that I was being paid to work, not to chatter!

I think it is wrong that we should have to fund the 'best possible care homes', I believe (although it will never happen) that these should be our right and that while we have a system that encourages payment for better care, a section of the population (who can not afford it) are always going to be badly treated. Although I am very often against regulation (we have far too much), I think this is one area in which it should be increased.

I agree. In any other area of life nowadays you'd hear of people's 'basic human rights'. Apparently once you fall into the long-term residential care of the elderly situation, your basic human rights go out of the window.

One of the advantages of being retired is that you no longer have to get up at the crack of dawn, defrost the car and get to work on time. So, getting up at 5 am (unless I choose to do so to hear the dawn chorus) would be an absolute no-no. Same thing if I was required to go to bed at 6 pm (this kind of thing ended when I was 2 years old!!)

I used to go to the women's group on Monday afternoons at our church. And one of the women there lived in a residential home - she came to the women's group because there was a little bit of prayer and a couple of hymns. Apparently she couldn't come to church on Sundays, although she'd have liked to, because the service was 11 to 12 and she couldn't be away when lunch was served at midday. This woman had been a strong church-attender all her life but couldn't in her later years, because she couldn't miss lunch at the home where she lived! And yet, I have seen 'mission statements' displayed in these homes saying 'this is the residents' home, they have the right to treat it just as they would treat their own home'. Empty words.

Margaret

seven-day-weekend

margaretclare wrote: »

Apparently she couldn't come to church on Sundays, although she'd have liked to, because the service was 11 to 12 and she couldn't be away when lunch was served at midday. This woman had been a strong church-attender all her life but couldn't in her later years, because she couldn't miss lunch at the home where she lived!
Margaret

Margaret, that is awful.

It's made me realise - much as I want our son to have our home as his inheritance (he has problems which means he needs a helping hand), we will have to safeguard him in some other way so that if the house has to go to pay for care, then sobeit.

margaretclare

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Margaret, that is awful.

It's made me realise - much as I want our son to have our home as his inheritance (he has problems which means he needs a helping hand), we will have to safeguard him in some other way so that if the house has to go to pay for care, then so be it.

I think a lot of people do not think through the implications. They have been brought up on the idea that 'the state will look after us'. It ain't necessarily so.

On today's news we hear of 2 Libyan terrorists who can't be deported because it would 'infringe their basic human rights'. These guys came here only to do us harm. Yet the people who put their efforts into building up this country cannot have their 'basic human rights' attended to. I would hope that NO ONE should die alone, without someone to hold their hand and say a prayer. Yet I know I might as well wish for the moon.

Margaret

Broken_hearted

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

A woman I work with is in her 40's and is not saving for a pension and never has as she is going to get a share of her mum's house?

Should she be hung, drawn and quartered for thinking like this?

I bet you'd all give her some stick ie. vulture - she should provide for herself!!!

Glad to see I've started a debate - don't drive youselves to heart attacks by getting stress out over an internet post.

I think her OH married beneath him.

gskyrme

Unfortunately it will be much harder for your kids than it would have been for you to buy a house, if you think you can afford to buy a couple of houses for them then thats great but you need to consider your cashflow, its no good having a great longterm investment for them but not being able to afford a new pair of football boots for them.

When buy to let first started to emerge I used to say to my parents what idiots would pay someone else's mortgage? But now I'm 25 and living in London and I can only afford to rent, there is no way I could afford a 150k mortgage on my own income of 27,500, but the sad truth is the banks would probably lend it too me! Clearly one option is to buy a house near where I call home in Wiltshire, but I have a lot of friends in London and enjoy living here at my tender age! Nevertheless I am still thinking of buying a place back there and trying to let it out, if I cant find a tenant then I will move back there myself.