Christmas Present Dilemma

Person_one

meritaten wrote: »

No - Cash for eldest - if he then chooses to get the same as his bro then so be it.

Why?

Its only the 10th of December, its not like he's changed his mind at the last minute! He's asked for something that costs the same amount that he was going to get in cash, he's hardly being a brat here!

princessdon

Wow. - Xmas list off my 3. Eldest is perfume, middle is Lego and youngest a cuddly dinosaur. No high price presents or masses on their list.

I don't own a games console, no tv in bedrooms - masses of board games, craft items etc.

Where does this come from? Is it their peers

Bennifred

So what would happen if you buy the console and then DS1 changes his mind again?

Person_one

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

This is not about the amount we are spending on the children this Christmas as we have extra money this year and the amount spent will not put us in debt.

Just quoting this as some posters seem to have missed it.

The OP didn't ask for judgements on how much they're spending, if they have decided that the budget per child is £250 then that's nobody else's business.

However, what they shouldn't do is tell the boys they can choose what the £250 gets spent on and then withdraw that choice.

If I was the eldest I'd be thoroughly confused, you were reluctant to give him cash and begrudgingly agreed to it, and now he's asked for something tangible you want to insist on giving him cash! Huh? :rotfl:

princessdon

But why 2 things the same? Very puzzling indeed. It's like buying 2 versions of same board game or 2 of the same book. Surely it's better to share?

Person_one

princessdon wrote: »

But why 2 things the same? Very puzzling indeed. It's like buying 2 versions of same board game or 2 of the same book. Surely it's better to share?

Ideally, yes, but you can't buy one child a present and then tell them its actually for all of them and not their own. That would mean that oldest gets £250 cash AND use of a wii, while the middle one gets use of a wii but not ownership of it. Hardly fair.

I do think consoles are better bought as 'gifts to the whole family' not for one member at Christmas or for birthdays, but now that the OP has given them a free choice she can't rescind it based on what they've chosen. Maybe, with three boys relatively close in age, they both want the chance to have something that for once they don't have to share?

princessdon

See that's why Santa Claus choses the presents - no arguments!

Ideally the cost of the console is removed from each budget - rest spent and shared, so glad even my eldest still believes in Santa

DevilsAdvocate1

Thanks for all the replies. I just want to add a few things.

Up until 2 years ago, if we bought a games console it was always shared. When my eldest was in year 8 (age almost 13) he really wanted an Xbox and lots of the games which had a 12 certificate on them were not suitable for his younger brothers to watch. This is why, begrudingly, we gave DS1 a TV for his room for his 14th birthday. DS2 cried when his older brother opened this present as its something he has always wanted.

I don't really agree with having TVs in the bedroom, but it was the compromise at the time. That way he could go upstairs and play on his Xbox. Before this, he was having to wait for his brothers to go to bed.

DS1 also saved his money for around 6 months to buy a PS Vita. It was his money and he saved it, so I don't think I could "force" him to share. I encouraged him to share, we had many conversations about it, but he stood firm and would not let his brothers play on it.

Anyway, we've had a conversation with DS1 tonight. We have suggested that he makes a choice. He can have the money, as agreed, or he can have the basic Wii-U with one game (this is different to the one DS2 is getting) or he can have the money and I will take him out shopping the day after Boxing Day to get one. I think he is the one with the dilemma now because he has just said it is a digital piano that he really wants, but it is going to take him so long to save.

I'm going to try to encourage him to do some jobs to earn some money. Hopefully, if he can see that its a possibility that he can get an electric piano eventually then he may choose the money. It might also be useful as I remember having to do this for something I really wanted. It took me 6 months, but I've never felt so proud as that moment when I went to the shop to buy it.

Thanks again.

Person_one

If he really wants an electric piano it doesn't need to cost £1000, maybe you could go round some music shops and look for a cheaper one that wouldn't seem so unattainable?

Yamaha stage pianos are reasonably priced and decent quality.

podperson

I would just get eldest son the Wii as well. Middle son has already said he doesn't mind as long as he gets his so don't see what the big problem is.
I'm guessing eldest son has been thinking about the fact that he'll be sat there on Christmas Day with nothing 'fun' while his brothers get to play with their toys - just make sure you explain to him that sometimes the bigger picture can be more important and is he aware how much longer it will take to get his piano if he has the Wii for Christmas instead.
If you give him the cash and say he can buy his own Wii with it then he's just going to be sat there bored at Christmas watching his brother play and waiting for the shops to open.