Christmas Present Dilemma

DevilsAdvocate1

Need some opinions please. This is not about the amount we are spending on the children this Christmas as we have extra money this year and the amount spent will not put us in debt.

I have 3 boys - 14, 12 and 7. The middle one wants a Wii-u for Christmas. He asked for it months ago. No problem there. He has never had any item before his older brother. When they were younger, if we bought a games console it was always a joint present. Middle son has some jealousy issues with his older brother.

Oldest son said he wanted money for Christmas. He is very musical and wants to save for an electric piano. The one he wants is over £1000 which is way out of present league. So he asked for money from us, is doing odd jobs and is going to continue saving throughout the year. We weren't too happy about giving money, but eventually agreed. We said that he could have £250 as this is approximately the amount we are spending on our middle son.

On Sunday, oldest son suddenly announced that he wants a Wii-U the same as our middle son. My husband has checked and we could still get one. However, middle son has never had anything first and we both feel that it would be good for him to have something before his older brother (just thinking about his jealousy in the past). I should add, that when our oldest has received presents in the past he will not let his brothers touch them. It has caused many arguments. Middle son has said that he does not mind as long as he gets one.

So what do we do? Do we buy a Wii-u for the oldest. Or should be stick to the earlier arrangement and give him the money. He could then go online on Christmas Day and buy one with this money or wait until the shop open and buy one the day after Boxing Day.

Thanks.

whitewing

Wii-u for middle and cash for oldest.

ETA: And either you or DH to have a quiet, mature word with eldest to lay down the law on not making a fuss about it, ie warn eldest that this is what's happening.

kittybangbang

Hmmmm tricky one! Perhaps give him the money, then it's totally up to him. You could say that you've finished all your Xmas shopping, and that he can decide on Xmas day what to do with his money. He might change his mind, and decide that it's pointless having 2 of the same console when they already have others between them.

balletshoes

kittybangbang wrote: »

Hmmmm tricky one! Perhaps give him the money, then it's totally up to him. You could say that you've finished all your Xmas shopping, and that he can decide on Xmas day what to do with his money. He might change his mind, and decide that it's pointless having 2 of the same console when they already have others between them.

yes, i think this is a good suggestion.

Person_one

Sorry, but you can't give them a free choice and then change your mind. Get them both the games consoles that they've asked for and find another way to make your middle son feel equally loved and teach your eldest to share.

If they've always had the same spent on them in the past then surely material possessions are not the root of the issue anyway?

duchy

I think you are over -thinking this. If there is time and availability -and you can be bothered hiking around the shops again if it's not available on -line then get him the gift he wants after checking he realizes it means waiting for the electric piano even longer (maybe point out cash means keeping his options open ........and tell middle son imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Personally I think he's just realized he'll have nothing to play with Christmas day and by his own example middle DS is unlikely to offer to share

kitschkitty

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry, but you can't give them a free choice and then change your mind. Get them both the games consoles that they've asked for and find another way to make your middle son feel equally loved and teach your eldest to share.

If they've always had the same spent on them in the past then surely material possessions are not the root of the issue anyway?

OP hasn't changed their mind, their son has, I think they should stick to what they agreed and eldest son can buy his own console with his £250 or choose to save it.

ska_lover

Why have these three brothers never been taught how to share? I would never allow one of mine to lord it over the others by refusing them to touch an item!

I would buy one between them, in my house - theres no way I would buy two identical consoles for them to sit in seperate rooms and play alone, seems a bit strange to me.

NoAngel

I'd get them one each. Everyone changes their mind a times and he probably had a proper think about not receiving anything 'fun' on Christmas Day. I don't think it matters that they will both have them, at least they can swap games.

Don't think that sharing one in the house is right either, if you can afford one each then that seems fairer.

meritaten

No - Cash for eldest - if he then chooses to get the same as his bro then so be it.

ska_lover

NoAngel wrote: »

I'd get them one each. Everyone changes their mind a times and he probably had a proper think about not receiving anything 'fun' on Christmas Day. I don't think it matters that they will both have them, at least they can swap games.

Don't think that sharing one in the house is right either, if you can afford one each then that seems fairer.

To me, its not about what you can afford, its about family values. I think that is the kind of thinking that has broken down family life, as it used to be. Children all playing on consoles indvidiually,and seperate PC's and T.Vs in each bedroom, and family members being very insular. I prefer a bit of family time, and family games etc in my house hold.

If we think about our own childhoods, could you IMAGINE in a million years of having a TV and a games console to yourself?? My we were lucky to have one (Atari) console in the house, and we had one T.V in the 'front' room, which was not, as children/teenagers seen as the 'be all and end all' of entertainment.

Yes I know im very old fashioned