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Family Court Experience (Contact Order)
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And as for her smiling about the ruling, if I thought my child was being poorly cared for or emotionaly neglected due to alcohol use, these conditions would have me grinning like the cheshire cat.
So you think that being happy because a judge has ruled that your child can't in an unhealthy situation (because despite what you think having a drunk parent around a child is unhealthy as is passing off your child to friends on the already sparse contact days) isn't something to be pleased about? It's nothing to do with 'hell hath no fury' it's to do with not wanting a child to be miserable.
You don't know he is a drunk. Bitter doesn't only come in a glass.
This has nothing to do with a child being in the company of a drunk parent. You have admitted to having a moment of glee were your ex partner, being subjected to a court order regarding his alcohol intake.
Nowhere in that statement, does it suggest you are considering your child.... Absolutely nowhere. I didn't have to look deeper than the words written about that statement alone, my dear.0 -
Having mentioned whether he is acting out of resentment, we could consider whether OP is similarly driven.
There is something out of balance about him applying for access when he had it according to the OP and then rejecting midweek access once there is an order. But I can see that if he is distrustful that access will be continued, he might go for a contact order before access is denied. So why might he be distrustful?
Equally, OP raises the issue of drink in the proceedings, which seems certain to generate restrictions in the contact order. When this does not reduce the contact but places an onerous requirement on the father not just to be sober, but to be dry for 10 days in a row out of 14, she is surprised that he is choosy over the contact.
I would hope that if you grinned like a cheshire cat, you would not be upset if the ex did not take up all of the contact available.
She needs to accept that he is the way he is. There is nothing coming from the family court which is going to have any effect on his drinking other than to increase it.
It is odd that he applied for official access and then turned it down. He could have been getting messed around on access or he could have been trying to make a power play and cause stress for the op - unfortunatley we'll never know for sure.
I wouldn't be upset that he turned down access, but I would be gutted for my child that her father cared more about drink or 'winning' then about her. I would be very pleased that the restrictions were being put in place, but I would do my best to ensure that the child didn't know about her father's decision.
If this was just an ex then I would agree that she just needs to accept that's how he is but he isn't - he's a father now and he needs to take responsibility for the life he helped make. And if that includes cutting right back on his alcohol intake then that's what he should do.0 -
I'm going to assume that your reply was sarcasm, and would like to point out that I've been where the girl in question has been. I have no sympathy for alcoholic parents who don't do everything they can to seek help as it ruins the lifes of the people around them. Once you have a child, it's your responsibility to make sure that they aren't subjected to things that will hurt them, and an alcoholic parent will cause more hurt then I can describe.
Noooo... Wherever did you get this notion from. I mean what I say and I say what I mean.
What is your basis for giving this parent, alcoholism? Where have you seen this statement... To come out with such a comment, I am asking you to back up and quantify your claim. How can you say he is an alcoholic? I am one, but nowhere have I seen written by the one person who knows him, that he is.
Now, as for alcoholic parents? Unfortunately, alcoholism does not choose whether or not a person is a parent. Perhaps do your research on alcoholism before coming with wild claims. Now, as a parent who has suffered as a result of her alcoholism, has sorted her life out and has more than built her bridges with her own children, then perhaps ensure, you are certain of your territory before making futher wild claims...0 -
I thought Cafcass reports presented both sides of the story ?
I saw the one my ex had from them, in relation to his fight for custody of his children with his new partner. The report that was presented to the court had 2 reports, one on him and one on her. The judge agreed with Cafcass recommendations that his children should reside with him.
Hi there
CAFCASS do indeed write reports on both parents and assess the whole situation. The judge then makes the recommendations on what the report states. CAFCASS clearly felt the children would be better off residing with their father.
I notice the OP has not mentioned the CAFCASS report from the child's father.0 -
You don't know he is a drunk. Bitter doesn't only come in a glass.
This has nothing to do with a child being in the company of a drunk parent. You have admitted to having a moment of glee were your ex partner, being subjected to a court order regarding his alcohol intake.
Nowhere in that statement, does it suggest you are considering your child.... Absolutely nowhere. I didn't have to look deeper than the words written about that statement alone, my dear.
This has everything to do with a child being with a drunk parent. And of course if I was in the op's situation then I would be very pleased for the ex to be told that he couldn't be drunk around their child - I'm not too sure why you'd think someone should be sad about that...
If there wasn't a child involved then I wouldn't give a crap about his alcohol intake, and I doubt the op would have posted about an ex from 6 months ago. You obviously have an ulterior motive that's making you justify a potentially alcoholic parent, and for that reason I won't be engaging this debate with you anymore.0 -
This has everything to do with a child being with a drunk parent. And of course if I was in the op's situation then I would be very pleased for the ex to be told that he couldn't be drunk around their child - I'm not too sure why you'd think someone should be sad about that...
If there wasn't a child involved then I wouldn't give a crap about his alcohol intake, and I doubt the op would have posted about an ex from 6 months ago. You obviously have an ulterior motive that's making you justify a potentially alcoholic parent, and for that reason I won't be engaging this debate with you anymore.
As is your right. Oh, he's now a "potentially" alcoholic parent...
No, I think you will find I am of the opposite. Given the fact I stepped out of the courtroom and realised that I was doing my own children very much damage by my behaviour. You clearly do not understand the written word, or alcoholism.
Don't enter law, will you.. But you would make an excellent CAFCASS officer, Bailey... (Interesting moniker, given your views on drunk parents)
Enjoy your afternoon.0 -
shoe*diva79 wrote: »
He stated in his CAFCASS interview he drinks half a bottle of wine and a couple of beers. He then changed his mind that he dosent drink due to training. He then also admitted 2 occasions that he had drank excessively whilst having our DD but that one of his housemates was not drinking and could be responsible for our DD in the event anything should happen.
I think he tells so many lies he struggles to remember what he said and to who!
Sorry to butt in but I think you'll find the OP did mention his CAFCASS interview.Spam Reporter Extraordinaire
A star from Sue-UU is like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day!
:staradmin:staradmin:staradmin0 -
Sorry to butt in but I think you'll find the OP did mention his CAFCASS interview.
You're absolutely correct, she did. I stand corrected. The OP also stated in her thread, that he served papers, because she had stopped contact. Yet at the top of the thread she stated "He has open access at any time he likes" She also stated that she didn't want the court to take a dim view of her stopping contact. When she claims she had. So you see, the story is a little bit confusing. Still, the dad's an alcoholic, armchair experts say so.
I wonder, did he offer the information? Nah, I know what will have happened. CAFCASS will have asked him about his drinking...0 -
Whatever the intricacies of this case, then I hope that Shoediva's little girl manages to have a healthy and balanced relationship with both her parents, as is her right.0
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The op was taken to court by her x, That states that he was not happy with the op giving him contact, so had to get a court order.
In a family court any partner can allege anything without any evidence at all.
Just because the op says he drinks too much does not mean that he does.
However as soon as the demon drink is mentioned in any family court, then cafcass has to get involved.
If cafcass or the judge thought that there was any chance of harm to the child, then he would not get full contact.
In my opinion, but i do not know all the facts is that the x has done the right thing in taking the op to court over contact. If the op then causes problems over contact then he can go back to court to have it enforced and the op punished. That is why he has taken the op to court.
Why dont you give him a chance and if he does drink while contact takes place then you can take him to court for breaching the order.
Why else would he do it.0
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