Potty training help please- I'm going crackers!

365days

Just be careful with the idea of taking away things she has been rewarded. What are you going to do when if she gets into negatives???

Simplistic parenting practice is ignore the undeirable behaviour and praise the one you want. Wetting pants and the resulting attention (even if it is negative) is very desirable especially as new baby will be taking up your time. I know it's easier said than done but if wet knickers don't get a reaction...just a very matter of fact knicker change and dry knickers get a whoop whoop celebration.

Just thought of this? Before every nappy change for baby could you do a knicker check...she will she that she is getting attention (and hopefully praise if she's dry) before the baby.

Just random ideas!!

Nicki

On the stress levels, when I did DS recently (having had a hideous time with his sister) I decided before I started that accidents were not going to be an issue. So I went off to Mothercare and bought about 20 pairs of cheap jogging bottoms and 20 pairs of pants. I had a big plastic bucket with a lid in a handy place (his old nappy bin), and soiled pants and trousers went straight in there. At the end of every day the whole lot was tipped in the machine, washed and tumble dried and the clean clothes put back in the main room. I also had rolls of kitchen roll and anti-bac spray in the main room and tons of wet wipes.

It may have helped that I had used real nappies with him when he was younger, so was used to having to do a nappy wash every other day, but it really wasn't any big deal to deal with things in that way, and it really helped in terms of not getting frustrated or upset.

got-it-spend-it

Hi Gemma, seems like forever ago that our little ones were newborns!

We're in the midst of potty training H at the moment, and I have to say that staying naked from the waist down really helped us in the early days. We're still very much at the practising stage now, but that definitely helped him be more aware of needing to get to the potty. Would going back to that be an option for you? Obviously only works while at home.

gibson123

Without stating the obvious but is she drinking a lot more, if you are making bottles for baby are you doing her extra drinks, or if you have a breastfeeding thirst, are you making her extra drinks at the same time as yours. Also the weather has turned a bit colder, this could be a factor as well, is she nice and toasty warm. Basically though just persevere, my Mum who was a master at potty training used to whistle when the toddlers were weeing, and it got to the stage where the wee one's would whistle on cue while she whistled a tune. Even now I always need to pee when I hear some-one whistling. Not sure how it helps, but I think it is to do with it taking the stress out of it.

mrsma

Hi Gemma, When I started toilet training my daughter we went out and she chose some very pretty knickers, they were very glittery Barbie ones. I told her that every time she wet them some of the sparkles would be lost and that to keep them pretty she needed to be sure to use the potty or toilet. It worked really well and she was dry very quickly. Maybe worth a try?

chanie

I'm in the middle of potty training DS (2.5). I've found that physically putting him on the toilet is helping.

Yesterday, I asked him if he needed to go and he said no but then 5 minutes later, he had an accident. Its still early days, but I'm going to continue with keeping ot put him on the toilet and see how that goes.

Perfect10_2

If she has started getting worse recently just keep an eye incase she has a water infection - very common in little girls, although not likely if she dry at nursery.

Make sure she is drinking enough in the day. Maybe try a bit of a routine for toilet times, again she probably goes at set "toilet times" at nursery. Difficult to have a routine with a new baby I know but I think it is important to learn how to know when bladder is full and to be able to hold it a bit, not sure if going very frequently enables a child to learn this although I could be wrong?

Other than that stickers work wonders My daughter was very constipated when little and got scared to go so she used to get "poo presents" at the end of a good few days with no fuss!!

Good luck, they all get the hang of it in the end....

JimmyTheWig

365days wrote: »

Just be careful with the idea of taking away things she has been rewarded. What are you going to do when if she gets into negatives???

Simplistic parenting practice is ignore the undeirable behaviour and praise the one you want. Wetting pants and the resulting attention (even if it is negative) is very desirable especially as new baby will be taking up your time. I know it's easier said than done but if wet knickers don't get a reaction...just a very matter of fact knicker change and dry knickers get a whoop whoop celebration.

Just thought of this? Before every nappy change for baby could you do a knicker check...she will she that she is getting attention (and hopefully praise if she's dry) before the baby.

I think this last paragraph is a brilliant idea.

I agree with the whole post, actually. The idea is to praise the good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour. It's an attention thing. The best thing is good attention; the next best is bad attention; the worst is no attention.
It's certainly not your fault, but it is obvious that when a baby comes along, the baby gets a lot of attention. The toddler gets less attention. Therefore the toddler will do what they need to to get attention.
Apparently, when I was born my sister was able to use the potty by herself but wasn't able to wipe herself after a poo. She got herself into the habbit of pooing many times a day - because it meant that our mum had to leave me alone and deal with her.
That's why I like the pre-nappy change knicker check. Tell the baby (within toddler's earshot) that you need to put him down for a minute to check DD's knickers. Then tell baby how well the toddler has done in being dry. Anything to make a fuss of the dry knickers and put the attention back on the toddler.

I don't think the idea of taking away treats is particularly good (leads to the thinking of what's the point of earning them if they will just be taken away again) but it does work with some children.
I also have a problem with traditional sticker charts where you end up with gaps in the chart where the behaviour has gone wrong and these are what is focussed on. The best charts we have had were homemade. Just a blank sheet of paper and a sheet of stickers. Good behaviour (in this case dry knickers) means they get to put a sticker on the sheet. Anywhere they want, anywhen you decide. The idea is to fill the sheet as much as they can. Worked best with black sugar paper and silver stars - the aim was to make a starry night sky.


One last comment, as an aside. It does sound like she isn't yet ready. Which is fine. Most of ours have had a false start with no nappy. They've all got there in the end. It's easier in hot weather, too - easier to dry clothes and less clothes are worn that then need washing. But it's not easy going "backwards" when she wants to be a big girl.
So my thought is that you mentioned "nappies", but does that include "pull-ups"? We've had Disney Princess pull-ups in the past. Huggies, I think. Quite pricey, but if that's what it takes then it might be worth it.
Baby doesn't get to wear big-girl pull-ups. Baby has nappies, with pictures of ducks, or rattles, or whatever. Big girls can have big-girl pull-ups with Cinderella, etc, on them.

mumcoll

My daughter used to wet herself for ages after she was potty trained - I asked her why she did it as she clearly knew when she wanted to go and her reply was 'I like the warm of it on my legs'! :eek:

tyllwyd

Have you tried fabric potty training pants - they might be a bit more of a compromise compared to disposable pull ups.

One thing that struck me is that you say she is taken to the toilet or asked if she needs a wee at least hourly. I remember from when my two were toddlers, they would get very grumpy if they thought I was fussing - if you are always asking about the toilet when she doesn't need to go, that might be distracting her from recognising when she does actually need to go. I'm sure it is difficult, but if you can calm down a bit, it might give her a bit more breathing space to listen to her body (and that might be part of the difference between home and nursery).