Potty training help please- I'm going crackers!

GemmaE

Hi everyone,

I'm after some general advice please if anyone can help. I have 2 DDs, one will be 3 in January the other is 16 weeks.

When DD2 was 2 weeks old DD1 announced she was not wearing nappies anymore, only big girl knickers- not the best timing I know but I went with it as it was her wanting to do it. we started off quite well with only 1 or 2 accidents a day at the most, but usually dry. naps were dry but still using a nappy at night.

We seem to be getting worse now however, we have 6/7 accidents a day despite being taken to the toilet/ asked if she needs a wee at least hourly. She is now getting sore on her bum cheeks, I assume from the wetness. She is mainly dry at playschool and only seems to have accidents if she is with me or too busy playing or watching cartoons.

I know she is still quite young to be doing it and I know having anewborn will probably be making her want a bit more attention but I am running out of ideas for trying to stop the accidents. We use stickers for each trip to the loo and a new peppa pig toy (which she loves) if we have a dry day. The toys are only 2nd hand fgures, but thought it may help. I congratulate her loads when she has been to the loo and make a big fuss of a whole dry day but am now getting really frustrated and upset about the whole thing.

I can feel myself getting really angry with her, I know its completely out of proportion and not her fault, but I'm at the stage where I can't help it. I have told her if it carries on we will have to go back to nappies and she got really upset/angry saying she was a big girl.

Any suggestions? I just feel like a crap mum for not being able to handle it

lil.smartie

We did a toy car for each pee/poo and lost one for wet knickers. Maybe if she loses them too it would help?

Kate

themull1

I would put her back in pull ups, she's obviously not ready to be potty trained yet.

WantToBeSE

Hi Gemma.
It sounds like she wants to be the big girl now that she has a little sister. Maybe she could find another outlet for this- such as helping you with cooking, baking, washing etc, and leaving the toilet training for another few months?
The fact that she is having so many accidents can show that she is anxious as well as maybe not ready. there is nothing wrong with her not being ready yet, everyone does it in their own time.

If she is definitely sure that she wants to do it NOW, maybe you could sit down with her and have a 'big girl chat'- does she know why she is having so many accidents? you could both come up with some great (and fun) ways to help her.

No matter what happens, try as hard as you can to remain calm at all times, and not get disappointed, as that'll make her anxious (easier said than done, i know).

Dont feel like a crap mum, kids dont come with instruction manuals (i wish they did sometimes!!). Sending you big hugs..she'll get there

GemmaE

Thanks Kate, hadn't thought of that, will give it a try and hope that it helps.

idea

I really feel for you OP, my DD is 3 and a half and we've just about cracked it (fingers crossed). We went through a good stage at the beginning and then the novelty wore off and she had lots of accidents. We tried everything and at one stage I put her back in pull ups as it was driving me nuts and the amount of washing created was a complete pain. One thing that I have noticed is that my DD always had more accidents when she was tired. Didn't matter how many times we asked her if she needed to go she would always have an accident. I now try to look out for the signs and give a good prompt if needed!

We also until fairly recently had a potty in practically every room. I know that it's not the best thing to look at but it was always in her sight so that if she needed she could go.

The other thing that our nursery suggested was to not make a fuss at all when she had an accident. Just calmly ask her to go change her pants and trousers and not to offer any help. We kept a supply of pants handy for these events!

It's also been said to me that something in their brain has to 'click' in order form them to understand and be able to do the whole thing....not sure (as I haven't tried to read anything on this), but it kind of seems sensible to me.

Your DD will get there honest! I feel your pain, and I hope she gets there soon!

Idea x

GemmaE

WantToBe- thank you, I will try that too. I'm trying to get some 1 to 1 time with just me and her to try and help her feel more involved, I'm sure she feels a bit pushed out because daddy is at work all day and DD2 needs my attention too which she is not used to yet.
themull1- I do wonder if she is ready or not, but she gets more upset about wearing nappies than about having wet knickers and I don't want to get her distressed about it or end up with toilet issues so I'm not sure that would be the best thing, although it may well come to that yet

Thanks again

GemmaE

idea- we have just dropped afternoon nap actually as she wasn't getting to sleep at night til after 9 and mornings are usually better than afternoons. We have a potty in the living room, but think the pound shop has some so may get some more to try and dot around the house.

The funny thing is she has poo'd on the toilet/potty for the last year no problem, maybe its the frequency of wees?

idea

I forgot to say, I also got the little princess book called 'I want my potty' and another one that's in the shape of a potty with a story about shiny potties and pretty pants - she really liked those!

marisco_2

Have a hug hun, you are not a bad mum at all. The dreaded potty training stage is enough to push most of us to the brink. I had this with my eldest son when my youngest came along. Almost identical age as well.

He started off well but we went through stages as you are at the moment where he had lots of accidents. The only difference to our circumstances is that we did this in the summer. He spent most of his time running around outside in his pants or pyjama shorts and a light t-shirt. It helped take the stress out of accidents as they were mainly outside while he was busy playing. I didn't react to them at all, partly because he was the type of child who would have seen it as a game to wind me up with. Mainly I didn't want to stress or pressurise him and make it into any big deal. Easier said than done I know.

It does come with time and they all get there in the end. The catalyst for my son really getting to grips with it wasn't a pleasant one. We were out for the day and we had offered him to go to the loo which he turned down. He was playing in an adventure playground and had a rather messy accident and some kids started teasing him a bit. That was it, from then on in he was dry and clean during the day.

Being dry at night takes alot longer, especially if you have a heavy sleeper. I use to make sure mine stopped drinking an hour before they went to bed. I would then get them up when I went to bed and sit them on the loo. I didn't take them out of pull ups over night till they were dry and clean during the day.

Kayalana99

For all the people with the DS's

I heard putting a ping pong ball in the potty does wonders (something for them to aim at )

Just my two cents as alot of you seem to have DD's....