Potty training help please- I'm going crackers!

fluffnutter

She's not ready and you're not a crap mum. Wait until after Christmas and try again. You shouldn't have to bribe or cajole a child into being toilet-trained - when they're ready, they're ready.

Forget all the sticker charts and the prizes - potty-training is a natural part of a child's development and doesn't need all this reward/punishment craziness. Take the heat out of it - it's all getting too much for her (and you). Try again in a month or so.

lil.smartie

I think if she can do it at nursery ask what they are doing different! She can do it so probably is ready! We still have odd accidents when she is 'too busy' watching a cartoon or something which is maybe why taking things away worked, less to distract her! Didn't get to negatives as it was done to help prevent accidents later on more than earlier!

Kate

go_cat

I don't think she is ready either, personally i would wait until your DD2 is a bit older and you are not king to be pulled in all directions. We waited until my son was 2 months off hs 3rd birthday and he got it in a week day and night but I am convinced only so quick as he was older.

Keep with the stickers, if she wets herself, let her change her own pants etc that way you are not giving her attention.

Good luck...and remember the majority of children are dry by school ( excluding medical reasons obviously )

nickj_2

lil.smartie wrote: »

I think if she can do it at nursery ask what they are doing different! She can do it so probably is ready! We still have odd accidents when she is 'too busy' watching a cartoon or something which is maybe why taking things away worked, less to distract her! Didn't get to negatives as it was done to help prevent accidents later on more than earlier!

Kate

they probably aren't making a big deal out of it and getting stressed out .

liney

I remember being told that if it took more than a few days to be regularly dry that the child was not ready yet, by the HV.

My son was 2 and 8 months. We stayed home for 3 days and sat him on the potty every hour and it clicked.

If you are having this many accidents after 3 months I think it's time to put your foot down and go back to pull ups for a couple of weeks to break the cycle. Tell her if she can keep her pull ups dry then she can go back to pants when hers have been all "washed and dried" which will of course take a little while...

LannieDuck

I would also be careful about taking her toys away if she has accidents. If she's already anxious about potty training, that would only make it worse.

sassyblue

Put her back in nappies or pull ups OP and don't stress. My little one decided to potty train himself and after two or three brilliant days he then decided he wasn't going to do it anymore - and he wouldn't.

He did this twice a few weeks apart and the third time he stayed dry.

The checking of her when you change baby is a brilliant idea though.

themull1

Nicki wrote: »

On the stress levels, when I did DS recently (having had a hideous time with his sister) I decided before I started that accidents were not going to be an issue. So I went off to Mothercare and bought about 20 pairs of cheap jogging bottoms and 20 pairs of pants. I had a big plastic bucket with a lid in a handy place (his old nappy bin), and soiled pants and trousers went straight in there. At the end of every day the whole lot was tipped in the machine, washed and tumble dried and the clean clothes put back in the main room. I also had rolls of kitchen roll and anti-bac spray in the main room and tons of wet wipes.

It may have helped that I had used real nappies with him when he was younger, so was used to having to do a nappy wash every other day, but it really wasn't any big deal to deal with things in that way, and it really helped in terms of not getting frustrated or upset.

Classic case of child not ready to be potty trained.

Nicki

themull1 wrote: »

Classic case of child not ready to be potty trained.

Nope. Classic case of mum being well prepared and determined not to get stressed by accidents.

DS was clean and dry within 3 days of starting potty training this time round. We had two previous attempts, the first six months previously and the second three months previously which were abandoned after 2 days because THEN he wasn't ready to be toilet trained.

Having now toilet trained 3 children, one of whom had severe learning difficulties and autism, I do know how to do it thanks, and the post which you have quoted was specifically in response to OP's question about how she could stop herself getting stressed by accidents. Answer: make the clear up process easy and no big deal.

GemmaE

Thanks everyone for your replies. We have had a big improvement, I think mainly because I have stopped worrying about it and commenting on it. We had a big chat before DD2 woke up Thursday morning, about having a wee and making sure she still wanted to try it. We have since had a dry day and 2 days with very small 'dribbles' where she has just left it a bit late.

I have changed asking her to saying 'toilet time' and she quite happily goes to the toilet by herself and gets her stool so she can reach the loo. Any wet knickers I have just asked her to put in the washing machine and left it at that.

I did think that she may have a water infection, but also think that it may be a case of giving up when she knows she wont get a reward. We just don't mention rewards at all, if she asks if she can have a sticker (we talked about these in our big girl chat) I let her put one on the fridge otherwise its not mentioned.

I will look at the nappy change idea too tho as that makes sense. We have had a lovely day today doing some baking and putting the decs up so I think she is generally feeling a bit happier, as am I.

Hopefully wearing her party dresses a few times in the lead up to christmas will also make her want to be a big girl too.

Thanks again everyone