Some help please.....

daska

bertie1989 wrote: »

I don't intend to, Hence i have also banned him having my son in the car

But if your partner and her family are brushing it under the carpet they probably won't pay any heed to you on that matter and you have no way of enforcing that ban if you're not present.

Hopelass

bertie1989 wrote: »

I see your point and if this wasn't him i would do just that. But it really is complicated, If he gets caught drink driving and lost his license he would probably get worse(he has a history of depression). I want to help him, but one side of me says why should i? IF no-one else cares why should i? But on the other hand i know its going to end bad if that's either him or someone else.

On the other hand you might just help him by giving him a massive shock - if the police get him and take his license it might be the kick up the @rse him and the rest of his family need to realise how bad his problem is and how dangerous! Also the police offer all sorts of rehab courses as part of the punishment.

LuckyNo1

I would advice that you contact and ask organisation like alcoholic support groups for family and friends. Just google and you should find some in your area. The thing is that this is a super tricky thing to deal with. I honestly think that ppl there have more experience and knowledge of how to best deal with this kind of situations.

bertie1989

LuckyNo1 wrote: »

I would advice that you contact and ask organisation like alcoholic support groups for family and friends. Just google and you should find some in your area. The thing is that this is a super tricky thing to deal with. I honestly think that ppl there have more experience and knowledge of how to best deal with this kind of situations.

Thank you will have a look:)

meritaten

~Before you do something as drastic as reporting him for drink driving....can't you get him on his own and tell him how he nearly killed you? impress upon him that you no longer trust him to drive you or your loved ones? Then tell him that he is a danger to himself and that you will feel you have to report him to the police if you 'know' he has been drinking and intends to drive?
Offer to help him by taking him to AA meetings? to the doctors for help with the depression (which is probably why he drinks).
and also tell him that the conversation is between the two of you - as far as your concerned any help you give is 'confidential'.

FATBALLZ

Don't have any specific advice on how to help him, although I suspect if he doesn't want to change he won't, but would second the advice to call the police if you suspect at any point he is about to go drink driving - his personal troubles are insignificant compared to the life or lives of innocent people he may destroy.

suki1964

bertie1989 wrote: »

I see your point and if this wasn't him i would do just that. But it really is complicated, If he gets caught drink driving and lost his license he would probably get worse(he has a history of depression). I want to help him, but one side of me says why should i? IF no-one else cares why should i? But on the other hand i know its going to end bad if that's either him or someone else.

Why if you so want to help him, you dont pick up the phone and report him??

You know no alkie is going to go and get help until they hit rock bottom?

Doing nothing is helping no one

I hope you can live with yourself when news comes to you that he did crash - into a queue at a packed bus stop

Sorry if thats too harsh - but it happens

Kildare

Please do consider reporting him to the police. I understand that you don't want to make it worse for him by having his license taken away but how much worse will it be for him when he kills or seriously injures someone on the road. If he drinks heavily in the evenings he is most likely over the limit every morning.

Drink driving ruins lives - my friends sister was killed by a drunk driver on her way home from work and you really do need to do something before your FIL is involved in an incident.

Also I really agree with the advice of other posters that you contact a alcohol support group who will be able to give you advice on how to handle the situation within the family.

Sambucus_Nigra

bertie1989 wrote: »

She understood where i was coming from but she does not want to confront her father. Honestly they all just seem to brush it under the carpet as it has been going on for so long. If i get involved i really don't know if her family is going to turn against me.

She doesn't have to confront him. She can just make the call.

Making the call is easier than arranging your funeral. Honest.

universalady_2

Is your place of employment aware he has been drinking at work? Maybe a word from his employers will encourage him to find help, although I do agree with everyone else aswell, that you should inform the police of his likely movements