Spouse walks out - what next?

jap200

This has just happened (today) to someone close to me who is now in a dreadful state emotionally as it has come as a big shock. However, one of her immediate concerns is also money as their joint income (hers is around half his) is not big enough to support two households. There are children involved who will stay with her.

Please can anyone tell me if there is already a thread on here giving helpful advice of what to do with your finances when a partner leaves? Things like changes to council tax, benefits entitlement, anything else really.

I'm thinking of something along the lines of the bereavement sticky. Maybe there should be a sticky on this - its a common enough situation.

Edit: I'm going to add to this as suggestions come in - that is unless someone points me to a list that already exists:

Action plan:
1. Bank account - set up seperate account for wages, benefits etc to be paid into if you only have a joint account
2. Council Tax - Contact council regarding council tax to apply for single person (adult) discount
3. Child Benefit - Make sure it is paid into your own account (assuming you are responsible for the children)
4. HMRC - Ask for any tax credits to be adjusted to a single persons claim and for any working tax credit to be adjusted (or new claims made)

Please also see the detailed post below by 'clearing out' on practical steps to take - as she says "keep your head now and fall apart in a few weeks time"

Sources of useful info:
www.entitledto.co.uk A useful website that will give lots of information
www.turn2us.org.uk
www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e.htm This is the relationship section of the citizens advice bureau with practical guides on who to inform of the change in circumstances at the end of a marriage or relationship.

go_cat

Your friend needs a separate bank account ASAP and any wages, benefits etc paid in there

marisco_2

This must all have come as an awful shock to your friend. If it looks like things cannot be resolved then she needs to look out for herself and the childrens welfare.

I would advise her to contact the council and inform them that she is the only adult living at the property now so as they adjust her council tax.

Things like the child benefit being paid into an account she can access.

Child tax credit being adjusted to a single persons claim. Does she also claim working tax credit which she would be entitled to if she works over 16 hours a week.

Her husband may have walked out but he is still financially responsible for their children. Ideally maintenance payments can be agreed between them but if this proves difficult then the csa may need to be contacted.

She could try looking on www.entitledto.co.uk A useful website that will give lots of information.

jap200

Thank you. Great suggestions so far. For the time being I think I will post suggestions into a list at the top unless someone points me in the direction of a list that already exists

Danfuss

Hi
There is a useful guide on the Citizens Advice Bureau website - under Relationships. Here's an extract:


Who to inform when your relationship ends

If you and your partner are separating, you may need to inform:

• your landlord or housing office
• your housing benefit office
• your council tax office (England and Wales)
• your local office of the Rates Collection Agency (Northern Ireland)
• your mortgage lender
• water, gas, electricity and telephone companies
• your benefits office
• your tax office, particularly if you're getting tax credits
• current school and future school if you have children and they are moving
• your bank or any other financial institution if you have a joint account. It may be advisable for you to freeze the account to prevent your partner withdrawing some or all of the money
• hire purchase or credit companies
• insurance companies, particularly if you have joint policies
• the post office, if you want mail redirected
• your doctor, dentist and child health clinic.

D

arbroath_lass

jap200 wrote: »

Action plan:
1. Bank account - set up seperate account for wages, benefits etc to be paid into if you only have a joint account

Close the joint account - you don't want to be left paying an overdraft that you haven't spent. Just because there isn't an overdraft facility now doesn't mean ex-OH can't ask for one!

RAS

Do they rent or mortgage?

Do they have a joint bank account? if so, what state is it in?

He has to pay her 20 % of his salary as CSA and she can get support for housing if her incomne os lowe enough.

jap200

RAS wrote: »

Do they rent or mortgage?

Do they have a joint bank account? if so, what state is it in?

He has to pay her 20 % of his salary as JSA and she can get support for housing if her incomne os lowe enough.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want to give any more personal information other than I have already given as I am not at liberty to do so. This is an information gathering exercise for my friend, but any info given here might help someone else too, so we can cover all options.

I'm not sure what JSA means - obviously some sort of allowance - what is it and how do you go about arranging it? Also, what if the husband wants/is able to pay more than 20%?

clearingout

I'm a cynic so feel free to ignore!

Tell her to keep her head now and fall apart in a few weeks time. What she needs to do is walk through the house and pick up all the paperwork relating to anything even vaguely financial that she can find. Photocopy it. Put it back. This is particularly important if either of them have separate bank accounts, savings, premium bonds, loans, shares etc. It is not unheard of for money to be shifted around and 'disappear'. If you can't prove it ever existed, you can't have the money taken into account during the financial side of divorce. Do the same for any insurance valuations for expensive jewellery or antiques, paintings etc.

Do the financials immediately as backdating ranges from difficult to impossible. Claim everything - they will soon tell her if she's not eligible. Give him a time limit to discuss child maintenance and put it in writing to him (email will do) along the lines of wishing to remain amicable regarding financials but the needs of the children are paramount and he should agree a child maintenance figure with you within, say, 7 days or you will seek the support of the CSA. Assuming she knows what he earns, she should put his details through the CSA calculator (see the directgov website) so she has a rough idea of the figure she's looking at.

Once she has an idea of what should be coming in, she will know whether or not she's going to be able to manage current outgoings - she needs to list these and look at what she can get rid of immediately (anything she's not tied into). She should consider the impact of defaulting will have on her credit rating and therefore the impact on her ability to 'move on'. As such, prioritise debts and speak with husband about keeping them a priority for both their sakes.

Take all financial paperwork, dated photos of anything expensive (value over £500) and lodge it somewhere with family or trusted friends (and be aware that not everyone can be trusted in these situations). Ask for his keys back and consider changing the locks (this isn't technically 'allowed' if he owns the house too but it is an effective way of keeping him out and controlling any rummaging or damage he can do to the house).

Tell her to keep her wits about her, don't believe a word he says and assume everything he says is a lie. At least do this for a few weeks to see how things go. The first weeks are hellish and anything initially amicable goes down the pan - it can be a long haul back up out the pan so a cynical head is required! Keep away from him, walk away from arguments, don't get drawn into anything that isn't about the children. Allow him to see the children - it is not their fault. Work out a schedule of contact with the children as soon as possible.

Consider seeing a solicitor - most will do a first appointment free. Look on wikivorce.com first to get an idea of the process of separation and divorce. Fore-armed is fore-warned. If you know the process, you're not alarmed by anything he says - most people try the 'but my solicitor says you're not entitled to anything' rubbish in the first few weeks (and then some) and it can be very upsetting if you don't have a clue whether it's true or not. Get the facts.

Give her a hug, be a friend, let her talk. And feed her every now and again as the divorce diet can be very debilitating.

If she is not on the deeds to the house, she needs to register Home Rights with the Land Registry immediately. This will prevent him from selling the house from under her.

RAS

jap200 wrote: »

I'm not sure what CSA means - obviously some sort of allowance - what is it and how do you go about arranging it? Also, what if the husband wants/is able to pay more than 20%?

Sorry - CSA - Child Support Allowance - used to be known as maintenance.

And given the difference in salary, she may be able to ask for spousal maintenance as well.

Dunroamin

You do know that there's a lot of useful information on the Benefits Board, don't you?