Spouse walks out - what next?

RAS

Dunroamin wrote: »

You do know that there's a lot of useful information on the Benefits Board, don't you?

Personally I would not direct anyone might be a bit fragile to the Benefits forum here, other than the Child Support sub-forum. Too many benefit bashers and people telling folk to get out and earn their way. Several people will ask why she had the audacity to have children if she cannot support them without benefits.

OP - your friend can check her entitlements on www.turn2us.org.uk.

The reason for asking about their housing and accounts are.

1. If the deeds or rental agreement is in his sole name he can try to sell up or give notice on the rent. If they are in joint names, they are both jointly and severally liable for the whole debt but legally he can enter the house unless she gets a court order.

2. if they have joint accounts, he can spend money (like the deposit on a flat and rent etc) on the joint account and she is liable for the debt. So she needs to halt any further debtis on that account.

gadgeteer_2

One thing to bear in mind (and this will depend on her exH). Is he the type who can be relied upon to pay regular maintenance?

If he's not then I'd recommend disregarding his maintenance when working out the new budget.

The temptation will be to account for the amount he SHOULD pay rather than what he realistically will pay. The two are sometimes vastly different.

harrys_nan

clearingout,

Your post is brilliant and has very helpful information.:j
Its very hard to keep on top of things when stressed

jap200

Gosh 'clearingout' you are indeed a cynic, but I'm sure you have good reason for it!

You have given lots of very good advice though which is much appreciated. I will sift out what is relevant for my friend's situation and pass it on to her.

clearingout

gadgeteer wrote: »

One thing to bear in mind (and this will depend on her exH). Is he the type who can be relied upon to pay regular maintenance?

If he's not then I'd recommend disregarding his maintenance when working out the new budget.

The temptation will be to account for the amount he SHOULD pay rather than what he realistically will pay. The two are sometimes vastly different.

this is good advice. it is always best to treat maintenance as a bonus rather than rely on it. If my ex is ever made to pay any (flying pig, anyone?) child maintenance it will go into savings and I'll simply look at it for months on end. Not sure I would ever be able to actually to bring myself to spend it - it would be such a novelty!

jap200

RAS wrote: »

Personally I would not direct anyone might be a bit fragile to the Benefits forum here, other than the Child Support sub-forum. Too many benefit bashers and people telling folk to get out and earn their way. Several peopel will ask why she had the audacity to have children if she cannot support them without benefits.

OP - your friend can check her entitlements on www.turn2us.org.uk.

The reason for asking about their housing and accounts are.

1. If the deeds or rental agreement is in his sole name he can try to sell up or give notice on the rent. If they are in joint names, they are both jointly and severally liable for the whole debt but legally he can enter the house unless she gets a court order.

2. if they have joint accounts, he can spend money (like the deposist on a flat and rent etc) on the joint account and she is liable for the debt. So she needs to halt any further debtis on that account.

Thank you - good advice indeed.

clearingout

jap200 wrote: »

Gosh 'clearingout' you are indeed a cynic, but I'm sure you have good reason for it!

You have given lots of very good advice though which is much appreciated. I will sift out what is relevant for my friend's situation and pass it on to her.

the benefits of hindsight and all that! If I had my time again, the ex wouldn't know what would hit him...sadly, he was able to take advantage of my confusion and upset. If I can stop that happening to other people then that's something positive to come out of the disaster of my marriage!

jap200

clearingout wrote: »

the benefits of hindsight and all that! If I had my time again, the ex wouldn't know what would hit him...sadly, he was able to take advantage of my confusion and upset. If I can stop that happening to other people then that's something positive to come out of the disaster of my marriage!

Clearingout - You would be an ideal person to right a really useful sticky guide for this board on what to do when a husband/partner leaves. You have given some fantastic advice that my friend has found very useful already and I'm sure that others have (or sadly will) find useful.

If we still had post of the month at MSE (remember that?) then I would nominate you. You are a star!:T

RAS

Small additional warning - if they rent either party can give notice. So he could give notice to end the tenancy without her knowledge.

She needs to talk to the landlord/agent and ask them to let her know; they may well let her set up a new tenancy in her sole name.

clearingout

jap200 wrote: »

Clearingout - You would be an ideal person to right a really useful sticky guide for this board on what to do when a husband/partner leaves. You have given some fantastic advice that my friend has found very useful already and I'm sure that others have (or sadly will) find useful.

If we still had post of the month at MSE (remember that?) then I would nominate you. You are a star!:T

glad it's helped. Hope she's OK. It's really just a case of hanging on in there as the upset passes and life goes on - just a different life. She'll probably find in the not too distant future that she's glad it happened - just takes a bit of time to get to that point but she will.