I want to make new friends?

*twinkle*_2

I've been feeling down in the dumps this week and it hit me yesterday that i'm sort of lonely. I'm 38, married and have two kids, but they are getting older now so I don't go up the school so don't get to chat at the gate with other mums, I work on my own and have no siblings, we moved house and my neighbours are very nice, but not the same age group as us.

I know plenty of people, but have no really close friends and we don't have close friends as a couple either, I know this gets to my hubby sometimes too.

Sorry this all sounds so pathetic, but I would love a close friend to come round for a cuppa, go shopping etc. I am busy with work and have done lots of courses etc to meet new people, but i'm shy/quiet/probably lacking confidence and don't know how to turn meeting people into lasting friendships Is it luck finding a best friend or am I missing some vital social skills here others seem to do it so easily. It feels like i'm the only one in this situation and I do feel embarassed about it.

Anyone have any ideas please where to start? I really can't face doing any more courses atm and on a tight budget.

thanks
twinkle x

taggiesgirl

Hiya sorry to hear your feeling down,I too am in a similar situation,my neigbours are not in my age group Im 26 and have 3 young kids (7,3 and 8months).
I too have no close friends and live a fair distance from my family, to be honest if i didnt talk to my sis and mum i wouldnt talk to anyone all day!.
I often wonder how being a mum can be the most rewarding job but also the most lonely?
I feel that everyone has someone apart from me,at the school,at the nursery,everyone seems to have a friend. Im not a very confident person and would feel awkard walking into a mother and baby group.:o
I would just like a friend to share advise on kids,life etc with. my hubby is great but we moved here because he wanted to be near his family which is a joke as im here everyday on my own and no one comes to visit us, and he doesnt arrive home until 8pm after work.
None of my 'friends' have kids or are married.

Sorry i dont have any real advise i just wanted to give you some comfort that there are lots of people around that feel the same way.;)

Rachie_B

I know you say your kids are older but still try the "meet a mum" board on your local https://www.netmums.com you can reply to other peoples ads or place your own

I have met lots of mums local to me,I mostly meet up without my children now,( unless its school holidays) as the youngest age 5 went fulltime last sept and my eldest is nearly 11

But we still all meet up no matter what ages we or our children are

we even have nights out without the kids ! novelty eh lol

purplepurple

We take it in turns to organise a meal for all the Mums in my DD's (primary school) class every month or so..... it's mad with 30 of us and the first one was really awkward as nobody knew anyone else... but 3 years later we're still doing it we're all really grateful to the first mum to organise it... she just gave everyone a letter inviting us to go out for an evening meal. I suppose it was a big risk to take, but it's certainly paid off and although we're not best friends with everyone and certain groups have formed within the big group, it's still really enjoyable and you do get to chat to people you don't normally chat to on a regular basis.:)

maxfactor_3

put an ad in your local paper meeta friend section for social outings etc.look out in the paper for friendship groups the library etc.

*twinkle*_2

Thank you.

Rachie I just found an older thread on making friends and there was a link on there to netmums so just had a look on there, I'm from South Wales too, Did you put an advert on there or keep an eye out for someone local?

Taggiesgirl thank you for posting, I know how you feel, sometimes I think i'm too relient on my mum. Its going to be hard, but instead of just hoping its going to happen, l think i'm going to be brave and more proactive and next time I get an opportunity invite someone around. Sometimes it seems nice people you meet already have their friends circle. I have a new boss, I work on my own, but see her a couple of times a month and she is always on she had coffee or drinks with girls etc. It would be so nice to be able to do that.

Are you up to supporting each other to start making some changes? I really don't want to look back in a year and be in the same position.

twinkle x

Rachie_B

*twinkle* wrote: »

Thank you.

Rachie I just found an older thread on making friends and there was a link on there to netmums so just had a look on there, I'm from South Wales too, Did you put an advert on there or keep an eye out for someone local?

x

Bit of both really lol

I did put my own ad up, but I have replied to many ads aswell

Whereabouts are you in South Wales ?

skintas_2

i had this problem about 18 monthsago. i met someone i really liked her, turned out her partner knew my partner from years ago. i was lonely would do anything for her, llok after kids, pick them up for school. my partner told me she was using me. i did it as thought she was my friend and i was lonely..... beware not to be too nice when you ,meet someone new im a bit wary now as dont wanna gt hurt again. cos i stopped doin things for her it has turned out a bit nasty, on her side not mine........

NAR

This has to be a tread carefully situation. Hopefully a good outcome will result.

samanthag

hi twinkle
i live in south wales as well let me know which part you live in
i used to feel like you as i could not work as i have a special needs child
i could not afford to go out every day and used to sit at home bored.
now i work full time in a school and have made loads of new friends there it is knackering and i dont get much time to myself as i am studying as well but i am really enjoying it
hope this helps and get in contact if you like if we live near each other
sammy x

Rachie_B

Also on the wales board we are kinda in the process of arranging a meet up lol cant agree on location or date though !

I am in Bridgend ,so if either of you are local ish to me I would be interested in meeting up