No Buying Unnecessary Toiletries in December

CookieMonsta

Fiasco55 wrote: »

Struggling a bit with the cold just now, so feeling miserable. My best friend is on the way with a lovely Italian takeaway. Yum

I'm with you there, hun. The cold is horrible! Makes me just want to stay in, hibernate, eat chocolate and keep warm! Very jealous of your takeaway - my dinner was a ready meal for one since DH has gone to Germany until Sunday. So now feeling miserable...and lonely

Surprise UU to report - Liz Earle Gentle Face Exfoliator 70ml - WNBA because it has started to irritate my skin. DH likes it though, so will use the rest of my stash on him! He likes to be pampered, I think I'll buy him a hot stone massage set for Crimbo.....

Becky_2

indiepanda wrote: »

Work Christmas party tonight so must remember to take a make up bag to work with me so I don't go shopping to buy make up to avoid looking like death.

I managed my first decent night's sleep last night since me and my OH split, definitely feeling better for it. I was yawning my head off at work yesterday and left early as I'd got a headache. Fortunately the people at work are really understanding.

Becky2 - glad to hear you have heat again, sounds like BG are being overly cautious.

Thanks Indiepanda. Enjoy your Christmas party tonight, your work colleagues sounds lovely. I am glad you had your first good night sleep last night, this is the beginning of a new future.

I also slept really well last night such a luxury to have a warm bedroom.

Becky_2

wondercollie wrote: »

Rosemary, honestly, that's how I've got through the last decade of my marriage. I leave my husband twice a year and go on holiday or stay with a friend. He's never shown any interest in where I go or who I stay with. I'm at the point where the mortgage is paid off but if we sold up and divorced neither one of us could maintain our standard of living and I really don't want my future grandchildren visiting me in a onebedroom condo with no garden. My husband is very different and can be very difficult. His brother once told me that the famly was amazed that I hadn't divorced him years ago.

I just soldier on and make a life for me with my interests. Not perfect but I'm not in debt, live comfortably, and have learnt to be independent.

Wondercollie, I like your attitude, life isn't perfect and you have found a way to accept your situation. With my OH I keep reminding myself that no one is perfect it's makes who you are and it makes you more interesting as a person.

emsjune78

Becky_2 wrote: »

Emsjune78, hope the situation with OH soon get better. A lot of what Indiepanda said in her post I totally agree with. I once moved into to my ex OH home and it never felt like our home I always thought of it as his home and I didn't repeat the same mistake with my current lovely OH. We found a place to rent together and made it ours. Could you ask him all the questions above and tell him that all you will do is to listen and not to judge. Sending loads of best wishes to you and a big hug

Thank you Becky for such a lovely message. The support on this thread is genuinely awesome and a great comfort when times are tough. Its been great to get a different perspective as everyone around me seems to expect us to live together but I'm actually not bothered when I stop to think about it. Although we haven't really discussed it properly since, the last couple of days have been much better as we've just been normal instead of battling! Its such a relief to be honest - I think he will always find it difficult to talk about how he feels but I just have to accept that's no reflection on me, its just the way he is and not to try force him into a corner

emsjune78

indiepanda wrote: »

Still no more UU to report - had a nice little spurt at the start of the month which now means I'm using things which have a way to go. The S&G shower gel feels like it should be finished.... but alas not!

Work Christmas party tonight so must remember to take a make up bag to work with me so I don't go shopping to buy make up to avoid looking like death.

I managed my first decent night's sleep last night since me and my OH split, definitely feeling better for it. I was yawning my head off at work yesterday and left early as I'd got a headache. Fortunately the people at work are really understanding.

One of our partners rang me on the way in having heard my news (I'd asked one of the others to let people know as I find it hard telling people) and said if I find myself alone at Christmas / New Year and wanting to get out and be distracted I'd be welcome to come round to hers and watch DVDs with the kids.

And then another friend left a cute postcard on my desk with a lovely message on the back, two friends took me out for lunch and another for coffee.

Love and hugs to all those going through hard times.

Becky2 - glad to hear you have heat again, sounds like BG are being overly cautious.

Rosemary54, so hard to know what to say. I had a male friend who went through the same with his wife and he almost ended up having an affair because he was so tired of feeling rejected. Do you think it's really a case of not wanting you or just not wanting sex at all? I don't know if it would be any less hurtful to think of it as being the latter, slightly less personal. Either way it's still incredibly frustrating though and I do understand why your friends see it as mental cruelty.

Nice to hear that your friends and colleagues are supporting you, I hope you are managing ok - will be good and bad days and Christmas will obviously be difficult. We are always all here, in shifts of course but 7 days a wk, 365 days a year!

emsjune78

kiplingmonkey wrote: »

Hope you manage to get this sorted. As others have said, maybe he just needs some time living on his own or maybe he feels your place is yours and he wouldn't feel right moving in? Anyway, thinking of you and hope you work things through.

Thank you very much, everyone is so kind, its really appreciated. My OH makes the smallest thing into a major decision so its no wonder something like this is monumental - there is definitely an element of this being my house etc as he's said that much at least. I just got myself into a state as I thought him not wanting to move it was a prelude to something more negative and it panicked me but last couple of days have settled down again and I feel so much better.

I love the Trevor Sorbie mousse you mentioned in your post too, its fab!

**tracey**

I haven't had many uu's this month so far so haven't been on this thread in ages. Just caught up on everything and I wanted to offer hugs :grouphug: to everyone that needs it. It is great that we have a thread like this where we can come and talk about anything.

Catriona_P

Interesting about having a 'running away fund', that's what I'm intending to build up if I can ever get myself out of debt. A lot of my debt is thanks to my husband so there you go. But I insist we keep our bank accounts separate, as he is so controlling with money. If only I'd realised sooner...:(

Keep smiling, lovely ladies

Itzybitzy

INS (Secret Santa)

Sanctuary Luxury Bath Float, 75ml
Sanctuary Foaming Bath Soak, 75ml
Sanctuary Body Wash, 75ml
Sanctuary Body Scrub, 50ml
Sanctuary Body Lotion, 75ml

indiepanda

Becky_2 wrote: »

Thanks Indiepanda. Enjoy your Christmas party tonight, your work colleagues sounds lovely. I am glad you had your first good night sleep last night, this is the beginning of a new future.

I also slept really well last night such a luxury to have a warm bedroom.

They are really nice, makes such a big difference.

I've had a few moments this evening where I've forgotten my OH and I split up - people talking about what their boyfriends are like and me thinking "oh, mine does X" and then remembering he's not mine anymore . Managed to keep it together though, just. I don't think it's really sunk in properly yet.

I think the hard thing is we split not because we stopped loving each other but because we can't agree on the best way to handle the whole visa situation. If they'd let him have a visa, I'd be busy planning a wedding now.

Anyway, glad to hear you are nice and warm now :-).