OH stressing me out....

quinechinoise

nearlyrich wrote: »

Different things work for different relationships but there seems to be a theme on here that if both parties are not sharing everything they have a bad relationship it's just not true.

True for a given value of true. It's only a bad relationship if one person is valued less. They should either share/split all travel costs (even with a token amount if they have separate and disparate incomes) or keep all travel costs separate. The point, mentioned earlier, about who pays for her public transport is a valid one. Are the travel costs, detailed here, a household expense or an individual expense? Therein lies the answer.

krlyr

I think you need to have a chat about how you move forward. It does seem odd that you pay all other costs of running a car without using it but stop short at insurance. Either you benefit enough from it to want to contribute to petrol, tax, etc. and insurance comes under that to make the car usable (even if it's not you driving - it needs someone insured to drive it!) or you feel you don't need the car and don't need to pay anything towards it. If you go for the "sharing costs because we're a couple" then that needs to be applied to everything else too - e.g. your transport costs.
Just my opinion!

diable

Charge him for sex and then see how quickly he drops that stupid idea of charging you for part of the insurance that he would have to pay anyway if you were not around.

You can also make sure he does he share of the cooking and cleaning as well as in a relationship there is something called "a bit of give and take" you do more cooking I'll do the shopping take the rubbish out and wash the dishes, so on and so forth.

Betty2012

Seanymph wrote: »

Betty do you say that because he isn't 'sharing' his car - or because the OP isn't 'sharing' the expense?

Well, both really, in my humble opinion that is.

Betty2012

maman wrote: »

You describe him as OH so I'd say you pool your finances and pay half of everything so half of car costs, half of your public transport, half of food......

I would also agree some personal spending money each too.

If you think the car is a big, unnecessary expense then tell him so.

Potentially this is a much bigger question than the car insurance.

Hear Hear
:T :T

maman

nearlyrich wrote: »

Different things work for different relationships but there seems to be a theme on here that if both parties are not sharing everything they have a bad relationship it's just not true.

I'd certainly agree with that.

DH and I keep a fair bit of money separate from the shared pot for our personal spending but for us all transport costs come out of the shared pot. I have a mileage allowance and as DH pays his half of all our car costs I always give him half of the travel expenses cheque when it comes in.

I think the point here is whether running a car is a domestic expense from the shared pot or a personal luxury that the OP's partner chooses to have when it's not really necessary.

burnoutbabe

I don't pay anything towards my OH car, its his choice to have one, which he did have for work.

I do go 50/50 on petrol for weekends away though, same as I'd pay my share of the train if we used that. I'd also be happy if he sold the car and we rented one for weekends away (again, joint cost). so its his call to keep it.

Oli.s

My wife has a car, she pays its finance, tax, insurance and petrol. I pay for parts if I replace them for her such as brake pads, bulbs etc, if I'm driving her car and it needs filling or I use all the petrol instead of giving her it back empty ill fill it and ill pay for that.

I have my own car and pay for it, it's insurance, tax, fuel etc. I wouldn't dream of asking the wife to pay me if she needed to use it for any reason.

In the same way I don't insist on her paying half the mortgage, or half the sky bill because we both live in the house and watch tv.

Maybe I don't care because I earn more than her and whilst we're not rich, we don't have to count each penny either.

balletshoes

nearlyrich wrote: »

Different things work for different relationships but there seems to be a theme on here that if both parties are not sharing everything they have a bad relationship it's just not true.

I agree - we don't have one joint account for all our income, and that works fine for us, always has. But on the other hand, we only have one car in the household, so even though its my name on the log book, and my name on the insurance docs, its used for the benefit of all of us, so in our case, the insurance, tax, repairs, fuel etc comes out of the household pot.

OP it seems opinion is split as to whether you should be annoyed with your OH.

meritaten

I dont think OP said if sis was paying towards the car insurance? as she has been added to it.
I find this very strange..........We have a car, I get to go shopping etc in it, but, I don't drive. so all expenses come out of 'household' budget. I take public transport when I have a job or have to go places and OH isnt available, but the car is outside the house as he has a van for work!
If OH asked me to pay for insurance etc - I would laugh at him! why should I? I dont drive it! and I certainly wouldnt give him petrol money etc for taking me shopping.........after all - he eats half of the shopping!
I dont get this 'modern' insistance on 'splitting' bills and paying 'half' each of household bills - seems to me the lower earner is always worse off!