What age to leave a child alone for 1/2 hour at night?

snowmaid

I really think it depends on the maturity of the child. There are some 20 year olds that I wouldn't leave alone at home! :rolleyes:

My boy is 8 (9 in June). When hubby fetches me at the station, it is often that he doesn't want to go with. The station is about a 10 min ride away. Hubby leaves him alone to come and fetch me. However, we have set rules which he strictly abides by, i.e.

1. NOT to go upstairs, unless to have a wee, but then to go straight downstairs again to the lounge (in case of fire he is not trapped upstairs but has a choice of 2 exits).
2. He sits with the phone right next to him.
3. If someone phones to speak to one of us, we are in the shower and will phone back.
4. If someone knocks on the door, NOT to answer or indicate that he is there. If he is worried to phone us straight away.
5. We have our mobile numbers, his gran's number, my sister's no all on the speed dial.
6. If there is a fire etc, to go outside immediately and call a neighbor and phone 999.

I have also taught him the very basics of first aid, such as resuscitation etc, but have taught him to phone 999 first before doing anything.

It is important to arm them with information such as this.

sticher

I totally agree that it depends on the child. My eldest is almost 14 and has been staying home alone during the day for increasingly long periods for about 2 or 3 years now. He is extremely sensible.

Last summer I began leaving all 3 (13, 10 and 8) at home during the day for short periods (I was a 2 min car journey away). Now I would leave them to go shopping and am leaving them for longer periods. I am always nearby when I leave the younger two. I don't leave the younger two without their older brother - but he IS NOT responsible for them.

They are all happy to stay home and I have stressed that any arguing/fighting will result in them having to come with me next time. It is all working out fine so far.

I even get my eldest to collect the other two on a Friday sometimes and bring them home (empty house) until I get home about 5.30. Eldest and youngest are very sensible.

Have to say though that when I first started leaving my eldest he was given all the rules - not to open door etc. When I got home one day a parcel had been delivered. When questioned about him opening the door he said ' I didn't, I opened the living room window instead and got the postman to give me the parcel through there' :eek:

You can't cater for all the 'what ifs' in life - and how boring it would be if you could I think.

Rachie_B

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

i'm a bad mum - i leave my ten year old playing on the wii while i go shopping
i got a lot of grief off other mums a month or so ago when i left ten year old at home and took my toddler to mums and tots group. i called him (using our code so he knows it's me) to check he was happy, and some other mums were horrified to realise i'd left him at home :eek:

he's in year 6, going to high school next year. he wanted to spend time in the living room without his little brother around, and little brother wanted to go out.

i don't think i did anything wrong, but i wouldn't have left him at home the previuos year. the mums who were shocked don't have children as old as ten.

Similar to me / my situation

At the end of the day I know my son and what he is capable of / or not,how mature he is etc

I wouldnt do anything that might put him in danger ( of course there are unforseen dangers / accidents etc but they are everywhere everyday !) and i actually think he is better for being left alone sometimes,he likes me having trust in him and allowing him a bit of freedom

ravenfire_2

My eldest is 12 and I have only just started letting her

lucysmum_2

No Im sorry, you cannot leave your children alone and all these posters should not be doing this. 14 is round the age when it may be considered appropriate if you are going to be a short while. Certainly not going to work or out for the night. Underneath this age the police would remove the child and contact social services if they found them alone. This is classed as abandonment and you could be charged (this rarely happens though). Why anyone would risk this is beyond me, we only have to look at what has happened recently in Portugal... Remember no matter where you or they are, you have parental responsibiliy for your child until they reach 18 and you are legally responsible for them until that time. As someone mentioned, what if you nipped out and had an accident, what if they turned the fire on... anything could happen. Why take the risk? Surely it is worth waking a child and having a grumpy toddler than risking them harm...?

TAG

lucysmum wrote: »

No Im sorry, you cannot leave your children alone and all these posters should not be doing this. 14 is round the age when it may be considered appropriate if you are going to be a short while. Certainly not going to work or out for the night. Underneath this age the police would remove the child and contact social services if they found them alone. This is classed as abandonment and you could be charged (this rarely happens though). Why anyone would risk this is beyond me, we only have to look at what has happened recently in Portugal... Remember no matter where you or they are, you have parental responsibiliy for your child until they reach 18 and you are legally responsible for them until that time. As someone mentioned, what if you nipped out and had an accident, what if they turned the fire on... anything could happen. Why take the risk? Surely it is worth waking a child and having a grumpy toddler than risking them harm...?

I disagree. I think the decision on whether or not a child is old enough to be left at home is down to the parents.

Most parents are responsible and know whether or not their child is mature enough to be trusted. And by that I mean trusted to behave and to act appropriatley in the unlikley event anything should go wrong.

pboae

The child in portugal was 3, it's hardly comparable with leaving a 12 year old in for an hour!

I don't have kids, but I would have no qualms about leaving my 13 year old nephew for an hour or so (with certain conditions, such as making sure he could contact me and knew which neighbours to go to if he needed to), but I would avoid leaving my 15 year old niece, because she is far too irresponsible.

At that age they are usually making their own way to school and back. That journey can easily take an hour for many children, and they are at far more risk of being involved in an accident on a dark morning, than they are watching TV at home for an hour in the early evening.

Life is full of risks, protecting kids from them is one thing, but you also need to teach them how to cope with the unexpected, and they need some experience and opportunities for personal responsibility to learn that.

Sharra

My son is nearly 13 and I will happily leave him on his own for up to 2 1/2 - 3 hrs during the day. He has a list of contact numbers to call and knows what to do if theres a fire or some other emergency. He knows not to answer the door but can answer the phone (he has to say I'm in the bath if someone asks for me). I do know, that he will plug himself into the playstation for that time, I wouldn't leave him with his mates round!
I would also leave him for up to an hour once it was dark if I had to.
After all when he started secondary school he was coming home by train on his own and playing out with friends for a few hours at a time.
If you think back to when we were kids, we were out on the street all day playing, I used to walk to school alone when I was 7.
I think we are in danger of over protecting our kids, we need to teach them to deal with situations and give them the confidence to look after themselves. If we wrap them up in cotton wool, they won't be able to deal with the real world.
So I don't think your friend did anything wrong, I would definitely have done the same at that age.

rosieben

lucysmum wrote: »

No Im sorry, you cannot leave your children alone and all these posters should not be doing this. 14 is round the age when it may be considered appropriate if you are going to be a short while. Certainly not going to work or out for the night. Underneath this age the police would remove the child and contact social services if they found them alone. This is classed as abandonment and you could be charged (this rarely happens though). Why anyone would risk this is beyond me, we only have to look at what has happened recently in Portugal... Remember no matter where you or they are, you have parental responsibiliy for your child until they reach 18 and you are legally responsible for them until that time. As someone mentioned, what if you nipped out and had an accident, what if they turned the fire on... anything could happen. Why take the risk? Surely it is worth waking a child and having a grumpy toddler than risking them harm...?

I think you need to read the thread properly .......