What age to leave a child alone for 1/2 hour at night?

Mumstheword

My 11 yo gets the choice now whether to come out with us during the daytime. We arent away for longer than an hour or an hour and a half tho. He has his mobile with him, and rings us if he wants to. He has been playing out for the last year or two, but close to home. Even tho he and hiis friends are close by on the field, I cant see him. So, I have to trust him to act sensibly. Same as when he walks to and from school.He is a very sensible and has a good sense of health and safety, and it is this, rather than his age, which determined when he was allowed freedom.

Diamonds_2

Like some of the others, I have just started leaving my son who is 11... he's not the most responsible of kids I must admit but I don't leave him for long periods. My friends DD is much more mature and responsible and she has been leaving her for a couple of years (since aged 9) but for short spells only... definatley depends on their maturity IMO. go on, tell us, how old is the child?

Chas

My youngest daughter is 11 & I wouldn't leave her alone for 1/2 an hour when it's dark & she wouldn't want to be left. If it was still light & she was happy to be left, then I'd consider it. She's very sensible but she's a worrier too so if there were any strange noises, knocks at the door etc she'd be terrified.

I don't think there is an acceptable age as such - it depends on the maturity of the child & also where you live. An awful lot can happen in 1/2 an hour.

When my eldest was a toddler I went to Tesco one night & bumped into a couple from the village. I commented about getting a babysitter then going food shopping & they replied that they don't get a babysitter, they just put the baby monitor in the house next door. Their kids were 4, 3 & 9 months. They were reported (not by me, by another neighbour who they'd asked to do the same thing) & were happy to tell anyone who listened that what they were doing was not in any way illegal.

Allison

liney wrote: »

11 for a short time during the day, 13 for short periods in the evening, and 15 for an evening out. This was my ruleing as a child, and i was fine. It would depend on the child though as you say.

This is how we have done it. But it really does depend on the child.

saraharrow

Hi,
I used to have shared care with my ex husband and when my daughter was 8, he thought it was acceptable to leave her from school till 6pm. I wasnt very happy with this, so I spoke to social services anonymusly (sorry always have trouble with that word...) and they told me if there is no apparent danger ie house falling apart, then its acceptable to leave a child of 8 unattended for 2.5 hours every evening.
I wasnt very happy with this and needless to say we no longer have shared care, she is now 11, and he thinks she can spend all day saturday alone while he plays golf....
Depends on maturity, and what you feel right with as you know your child best.

good luck

Sarah

eamon

When I was young (many years ago) and the youngest my mum went back to work when I was about 7 or 8. By that stage my older brothers and sister were at secondary school. We lived in the country and in more innocent times. The routine was that I being first home would bring in some of the milk from the end of the lane (we had 4 pints per day and I could only carry two plus my school bag) and start washing up the breakfast dishes. Next home would bring in the remainder and dry the dishes and so on. I hated washing the porridge pot! I was probably only alone for about 30 mins. I can remember cleaning the ash from the coal fired range and re-lighting it, but I don't think that was during the week probably more like a supervised chore at weekends. Four kids couldn't be seen to be doing nothing!
Many people today would have a fit.

yours

Eamon

ymcas

Diamonds wrote: »

Like some of the others, I have just started leaving my son who is 11... he's not the most responsible of kids I must admit but I don't leave him for long periods. My friends DD is much more mature and responsible and she has been leaving her for a couple of years (since aged 9) but for short spells only... definatley depends on their maturity IMO. go on, tell us, how old is the child?

Child is 11y8m. Dad brought him back to Mum's house late the previous night as flight back from holiday had been delayed so he didn't get to bed until 3am on a school night:eek: Eldest went to evening activity straight from school and usually 11y would go to boys brigade and then mum would pick up boy and then eldest on way home. 11y too tired for boys brigade and didn't want to go out to pick eldest up so Mum gave him option to stay home and put himself to bed. was left with mobile number and emergency number. While Mum was out Dad came round "to deliver school books" (he's not meant to come round without prior agreement) and went ballistic at 11y being left alone. Said he would call police and social services to get boy taken away from Mum. All this argument in front of the boy and obviously mum, dad and boy all very upset. This is a recent split and there is nothing official about residency, they are just having boy 1 week at mum's and the next at Dads to see how it goes.

I can't imagine how upsetting this must have been for the boy

Spendless

ymcas wrote: »

it was 9pm... what do you think?

It is bordering on being a bit late IMO, and def late if you mean leaving at 9 coming in for 9.30. Having said that from 11 (nearly 12) I was left babysitting my siter from 9-11.30 and she was 4 almost 5 at the time. :eek: , and a recent conversation with my nan had me shocked when she revealed that he'd been left on his own at 12 whilst she and Grandad went on holiday. Though her words were, he wasn't on his own Barry came to stay(another 12 year old:rolleyes: ).

So I do think we are more cautious, over-protective than in previous generations, whether that's with good cause I don't know.

Spendless

ymcas wrote: »

Child is 11y8m. Said he would call police and social services to get boy taken away from Mum.

well if it wasn't for the fact that the storys aren't completely the same I'd swear it was my friend you were talking about, he has recently told the same thing to her, but there isn't an official age to be left. Just if something goes wrong you may get prosecuted, (i assume the charge will be neglect though I don't know). Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but couldn't Dad have come over to watch him.

tigtag02

Spendless wrote: »

well if it wasn't for the fact that the storys aren't completely the same I'd swear it was my friend you were talking about, he has recently told the same thing to her, but there isn't an official age to be left. Just if something goes wrong you may get prosecuted, (i assume the charge will be neglect though I don't know). Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but couldn't Dad have come over to watch him.

Spenless you are right There is no law and you can in theory leave a child at any age :eek: The charge would be neglect.

tigtag