Need a bit of encouragement

falko89

I think I am the end of my tether with regards to work, I have a conflict going on in my head, one saying "Its nearly Xmas, you need the job, you have kids to feed and presents to buy" and the other saying "You shouldn't have to take this rubbish for £6 odd per hour"

I've mentioned before I've been marched into the office 3 times in 6 months over down right stupid things, I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression over bullying by a supervisor as I say I am confused, is it really worth it? I dread going in every day and have problems sleeping at night because of it, every day brings it own dramas guaranteed without fail, today's left me kind of speechless.

I work in a saw mill basically, The boss is very tight and only buys rubbish timber, if there is away of cutting corners he does. So because I am the first man on the production line I got the blame because the wood is warped and twisted, down came the boss roaring and shouting and throwing pieces of wood, all because a work colleague blamed it all on me :eek: In my mind all I could think of saying was "Go f**k yourself, if you weren't so bloody tight" but in the end I let him roar and shout and said nothing and ignored him but as I say I can't be arsed with this, you wouldn't mind once in a blue moon but every day there is something.

So as I say convince me that I am doing the right thing?

DollyDee_2

I really feel for you & don't really know what to say but if you need the money, grit your teeth and try to stick at it until something else comes up.

I worked at the same place for 18 years & was made redundant in 2009. We had our little niggles but I never realised it was such a nice place to work at. Since then I've had 2 fixed term jobs & they have both been awful. I've nearly cried before I've gone to work & I have cried when I've got home and I am in my 50's.

I have never had to deal with such nastiness in all my life before, most of it from a jumped-up, know-it-all, 24 year old fart at the second place.

Wherever I worked before, the nasty people were in the minority but those 2 jobs have opened my eyes & I have tried to grow a thicker skin - see if you can too.

Take a deep breath & try to keep calm - something will come up.;););)

TrickyWicky

falko,

Respect. Thats all I can give you because despite all the doubts about you months ago, you're still there grafting. I gotta hand it to you, you've proved everyone here wrong about you.

As for staying, if it were me, I'd have walked by now as I've been bullied relentlessly in several jobs. That said, I have found that being overly proactive can bring that on too. Sometimes its best not to be proactive but just make a point of telling the boss what you're doing and how. Perhaps ask your boss to join you for 10 minutes and let him observe your work? - I suspect you may of already tried that anyway but its just a thought. The only other thing I can say is perhaps ask the boss to be moved further down the production line?

The only thing I can say to you is that although you hate it and dread getting up in the morning (trust me, I've been there and done that and no it's not nice) you do have kids to think of.

Have you ever lost your rag or defended yourself at work? I never have and I've been walked all over time and time again yet colleagues of mine who would blow a fuse or argue back at the boss seemed to be respected more for it despite actually being more trouble than me. Weird or what?!

Whatever you do, good luck and keep prowling for something else!

falko89

DollyDee wrote: »

I really feel for you & don't really know what to say but if you need the money, grit your teeth and try to stick at it until something else comes up.

I worked at the same place for 18 years & was made redundant in 2009. We had our little niggles but I never realised it was such a nice place to work at. Since then I've had 2 fixed term jobs & they have both been awful. I've nearly cried before I've gone to work & I have cried when I've got home and I am in my 50's.

I have never had to deal with such nastiness in all my life before, most of it from a jumped-up, know-it-all, 24 year old fart at the second place.

Wherever I worked before, the nasty people were in the minority but those 2 jobs have opened my eyes & I have tried to grow a thicker skin - see if you can too.

Take a deep breath & try to keep calm - something will come up.;););)

Thanks for that, this is my first job after being made redundant from a company I worked at for 5/6 years, Like you I never realised my previous job was such a nice place to work at until I landed in this job, yes nastiness is the perfect word to sum it up, day in day out, Grrr, I am trying to view it as a means to an end sadly I can't see and end.

falko89

TrickyWicky wrote: »

falko,

Respect. Thats all I can give you because despite all the doubts about you months ago, you're still there grafting. I gotta hand it to you, you've proved everyone here wrong about you.

As for staying, if it were me, I'd have walked by now as I've been bullied relentlessly in several jobs. That said, I have found that being overly proactive can bring that on too. Sometimes its best not to be proactive but just make a point of telling the boss what you're doing and how. Perhaps ask your boss to join you for 10 minutes and let him observe your work? - I suspect you may of already tried that anyway but its just a thought. The only other thing I can say is perhaps ask the boss to be moved further down the production line?

The only thing I can say to you is that although you hate it and dread getting up in the morning (trust me, I've been there and done that and no it's not nice) you do have kids to think of.

Have you ever lost your rag or defended yourself at work? I never have and I've been walked all over time and time again yet colleagues of mine who would blow a fuse or argue back at the boss seemed to be respected more for it despite actually being more trouble than me. Weird or what?!

Whatever you do, good luck and keep prowling for something else!

No I never have, I guess I am not that kind of guy, I just build up the anger, they say depression is built up anger, don't know how much truth there is in that but it would explain a few things. But I get the impression that's exactly what they want me to do, loss my rag and sack me rather than respect me but I aint gonna bite

DCFC79

Ah I had to put up with a little pip squeak aged early twenties who thought he was a drumb and bass DJ and would play his god awful music for everyone to hear but thats nothing to what you have to put up with OP so I give you my congrats for lasting this long.

I actually now wish I'd spoken up about some of the crap I had to do, soem of it just wasn't safe/thoguht through very well.

I know it feels hard at times, you dotn want to ge tup to to work, you despise being there etc.

gibson123

:T:T:T:T:T Big respect for you falko, you are sticking in, remember this is not your last job, just a means to an end. Just think about when you move into your next job of the victory dance as you waltz out the door leaving the a***holes behind. In the meantime, think about all you are achieving rather than what you are not. Just remember whilst the pessimist and the optimist debated whether the glass was half full or half empty, the opportunist drank the beer and was half way to the bar for the refill. ;)

FATBALLZ

Presumably you are looking for other jobs, so just focus on that. Well done on sticking where you are for so long, there's little worse than having to do a full time job where you dread going in. Don't let this petty knob cause you financial trouble on top of the grief he gives you during work.

DollyDee_2

Just a thought - is all the wood sub-standard or just some of it?

If you can tell before you start sawing it, could you ask the boss to come to the machine and explain what the result is going to be so that he can witness what goes wrong when he buys cheap stuff.

Or if you can't tell until you've sawn some off, stop and ask him to have a look and ask if he wants you to carry on.

Sorry, I don't know much about saw-mills.

TrickyWicky

falko89 wrote: »

No I never have, I guess I am not that kind of guy, I just build up the anger, they say depression is built up anger, don't know how much truth there is in that but it would explain a few things. But I get the impression that's exactly what they want me to do, loss my rag and sack me rather than respect me but I aint gonna bite

See that sounds just like me. I've never stood up for myself at work on the grounds that they'd probably sack me. I did kinda do it once though.. I didn't loose my rag but the boss was having a right old go at me so I told him as calmly as I could what i thought of him an why i had a problem with him. I also brought up examples of the way he'd treated me unfairly. It was still very heated but surprisingly it seemed to do the trick.. we still didn't get on but it did clear the air. A few months later he was actually nice to me when he was in a good mood (i was still the scapegoat most of the time but it was less than it once was).

Not sure if that will help you falko but thought I'd share.

As for the depression / anger thing yes, depression is an anger thats built up and turned rotten. I am angry about a lot of things in my life and how carp its been and very depressed these days. When I worked for a council years ago I was treated like a black sheep continually due to a couple of people always stirring up carp for me. I never once let any of that out or told them how it made me feel, why it was unfair etc. I just bottled it up and it kept getting me down. I was off sick frequently with stress / depression. When I left I had a meeting with the big boss and told him everything. It felt like I'd had the world lifted off my shoulders. I didn't need to bottle it up anymore and I had told them exactly what had happened to turn me so depressive. It was a huge relief. Bottom line is that anyone who is depressed has a reason for it no matter how hard they try to convince you there isn't one or there is nothing to talk about.

DollyDee_2

Sorry, I just re-read the thread & realised I had duplicated part of TrickyWicky's post. I just wondered if there was any way the situations could be diffused before the boss came down roaring.

Your "colleague" keeping his mouth shut might help but he's possibly in same situation as you i.e he hate's it there.