Constantly struggling with money - vent

SuzieSue

steve-L wrote: »

A lot of jobs actually want to know your last salary (probably not legal but I was asked in my present one and they find out when they get your P45 (+/-)

If you don't want your new employer to know your previous salary then you don't have to give them your P45. They will ask you to fill in a P46 so your tax code might be wrong for a couple of months but it should be corrected when HMRC send them the correct code.

Edit: see Dazed and confused' s post below.

Dazed_and_confused

"If you don't want your new employer to know your previous salary then you don't have to give them your P45. They will ask you to fill in a P46 so your tax code might be wrong for a couple of months but it should be corrected when HMRC send them the correct code"


Poor advice - if they are sending the correct cumulative code they will also send your new employer the pay and tax information from your previous employer!

j.e.j.

As a general rule I would prefer not to work through an agency, - they do a lot of talking, and.. that's about it. But having said that, some of the best agencies I encountered (ie the ones who actually seemed to know what they were doing and didn't just fob you off) were the ones in London. I don't know what field of work the OP's OH is in, but it might be worth his while researching some of the better ones and getting in touch with them?

SuzieSue

Dazed_and_confused wrote: »

"If you don't want your new employer to know your previous salary then you don't have to give them your P45. They will ask you to fill in a P46 so your tax code might be wrong for a couple of months but it should be corrected when HMRC send them the correct code"


Poor advice - if they are sending the correct cumulative code they will also send your new employer the pay and tax information from your previous employer!

Apologies, yes, you are correct, but you can ask them not to do that.

steve-L

SuzieSue wrote: »

Apologies, yes, you are correct, but you can ask them not to do that.

It still doesn't help when they ask for references....

Even cleaning companies ask for them (well the good ones) as they don't want employees nicking stuff from clients...

Lying about your past work is probably not the best way to start off a new job..... I'm not saying don't massage your CV.... but trying to make up a string of manual labour jobs is a bit more than that if the recurring issue is 'you're over qualified'.

Sometimes it just means 'we don't want anyone with a decent education, they might start asking awkward questions'....

This happened to a friend of my OH.... who had neglected to mention she had an accountancy qualification for an admin job.
She ended up in a bit of a mess when it was obvious the company was running false books and doing a lot of shady practice.

lessonlearned

maman wrote: »

I'm hugely sympathetic OP of the effect on your relatonship as your OH must be feeling really down.....

But when I read that you live in London I was puzzled. There's loads of free stuff to do (museums, galleries etc.) and there just has to be work in the area. Perhaps your OH would be better just getting anything to keep him busy while he looks for something more suited to his qualifications.

Definitely agree with this. Get out of the house, get some free fun - it will do you both good.

What are your OH's qualifications, skills and experience. If there is nothing in his field he might need to change tack for a while - even if it's just as a temporary measure.

A good idea is for him to set up by himself as a "Handy Andy". You don't need to be a trained craftsman, just capable of doing some odd jobs, a bit of gardening, grass cutting, cleaning, simple painting and decorating.

There are always loads of people willing to pay someone to do tasks like this. Older people, disabled people, busy people who are cash rich/time poor. He could charge between £10 to £20 an hour, depending on the job or the client's ability to pay.

Print off some flyers, post them through letterboxes. Be pro-active. It's coming up to Christmas, pubs, cafes, restaurants and shops will be taking on casual staff. Get door knocking.

If after Christmas he still can't get a "proper" job - then it's time to think outside the box. Look to the margins. No point fruitlessly chasing jobs that don't exist.

I recommend he reads an excellent book called "The case for working with your hands" by Matthew Crawford.

The world of work is changing, we are going through a Third Industrial Revolution. Those who can change and adapt will survive and thrive. Those who can't will get left behind.

Chasing non existent or over-subscirbed jobs and just hanging around waiting for your life to begin is soul destroying.

Change tack, adjust to the new reality, evolve and move on. In the meantime get out and about. Getting out of the house will lift your spirits and save on the heating bills too. Sitting at home feeling helpless will just drag you both down and you will start to bicker and squabble.

Galleries, museums, concerts in the parks, street theatre - London has them all - often for free. Pack a picnic, take a flask, allow yourselves a cup of coffee in a nice cafe or bar. Look out for cinema and theatre deals.

And above all, never give up.

Dunroamin

steve-L wrote: »

That wasn't either the description of the job or my feeling of it at the time.....

the problem is .....

It's not just higher qualifications but job history etc.
A lot of jobs actually want to know your last salary (probably not legal but I was asked in my present one and they find out when they get your P45 (+/-)

I had been abroad for years before coming back to the UK for a job that then didn't work out.... another giveaway.....

Even cleaning jobs want cleaning experience..... (or a foreign passport so they can fob you off with less than the minimum wage)

Other than making some experience up completely and out and out lying its hard to get around this....

One of the places told me I was too experienced was actually a job centre... the same people I had to take letters to as proof I was applying for 'suitable jobs'.

If you've had more basic jobs when you were younger (as a student, for example) then that experience becomes useful if you're downshifting.

A character reference for honesty can come from anyone, not just another cleaning company.

I do feel that you're making it more difficult than it need be, certainly in my experience.

lessonlearned

Dunroamin wrote: »

If you've had more basic jobs when you were younger (as a student, for example) then that experience becomes useful if you're downshifting.

A character reference for honesty can come from anyone, not just another cleaning company.

I do feel that you're making it more difficult than it need be, certainly in my experience.

I've been offered three jobs in the last few weeks. I'm not even looking for one:o

I'm 61 and retired. I may take one of them up on their offer. I will also be starting up a couple of little sideline businesses next year.

There are still some jobs, maybe only part time and maybe not your dream job, or what you have trained and studied for. But as a stop gap.....

You just need to think creatively and be flexible.

steve-L

Dunroamin wrote: »

I do feel that you're making it more difficult than it need be, certainly in my experience.

My own experience is that although I have tried to get jobs outside of my experience area in the past I almost always end up going back.

I've done a few other things, including gardening, handyman, computer fixer, painting and decorating all through contacts but I always end up going back?

lessonslearned wrote:

I've been offered three jobs in the last few weeks. I'm not even looking for one

I'm 61 and retired. I may take one of them up on their offer. I will also be starting up a couple of little sideline businesses next year.

Yes, I seem to presently get a few a week.....
Strange that they seem to find you when you are not looking.

One of the biggest issues seems to be from the side of employers that they seem to think if you/'re not working (without being retired) their must be a reason......

On the other side it can be so demotivating and downright depressing being out of work that it's hard to keep the applications going and sound positive.

I wouldn't say the OP's OH should only look for qualified jobs but I do think they will probably have more success if they put their energy into it..... the problem is often finding that energy in my experience!

FastCash

If your boyfriend has been unemployed for quite some time, he should at least do his share of helping you with household chores. If you want to spend quality time together, you just need to be a little creative. If you are stressed out with the situation, I bet he feels the same way too. Look at the positive side of the situation, at least you are learning on how to live within your means and next time you get additional income, you will surely save a lot of money because you got used to spending less.