Constantly struggling with money - vent

Fire_Fox

Dunroamin wrote: »

As he's not working, does your BF do all the housework, shopping, cooking & etc. or do you have to do this after work? Couldn't he even get some part time work such as cleaning or working behind a bar?

Do you make a positive of the fact of living in London by taking advantage of all the things that you can do for free?

You've just reminded me of this book ...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Lived-Year-Just-Pound/dp/1906593124/ref=sr_1_2

Sambucus_Nigra

lorena wrote: »

I will definitely try to encourage him to contact agencies. I try to let him get on with the job hunt himself as I don't want to make him feel worse by me nagging him to get one. My point about agencies is that they seem to mess him around and it doesn't actually lead to any work.

I think he has lost his drive a bit so I am trying to keep him positive. he has had a friend who has worked in HR before look over his CV and also had a mock interview with him before his last interview. He obviously prepared him too well, he didn't get it because he was 'over-qualified'.

We are not entitled to anything else, I earn £22k a year which probably excludes us from anything. I should add that we live in London so it doesn't go very far.

He shouldn't have one CV - he needs to tailor it each time to suit each job. And I can't see how they could say someone was 'overqualified' at interview if all the info was in the CV or application form...if he was overqualified then why did they interview him in the first place?

daska

Not necessarily, some places still like to interview possible candidates, I've been turned down for more than one job, after interview, on the basis that they'd love to have me but they wanted to appoint someone they didn't think would be looking for a job more suited to their qualifications.

Dunroamin

I really can't see why an adult, living in London, shouldn't be able to pick up a good few hours of part time work in the areas that I've mentioned, even if only on NMW.

maman

I'm hugely sympathetic OP of the effect on your relatonship as your OH must be feeling really down.....

But when I read that you live in London I was puzzled. There's loads of free stuff to do (museums, galleries etc.) and there just has to be work in the area. Perhaps your OH would be better just getting anything to keep him busy while he looks for something more suited to his qualifications.

steve-L

Dunroamin wrote: »

I really can't see why an adult, living in London, shouldn't be able to pick up a good few hours of part time work in the areas that I've mentioned, even if only on NMW.

It seems a lot easier than it is! Especially when you are over qualified.
I was unemployed for 6 months...I have a lot of experience and when working earn well over 100k a year.(Its just not that MANY jobs doing what I get paid that for).... I have been turned down for so many jobs .... one was walking along a railway looking at the track..... they felt 'I wouldn't get along with the rest of the workers'..... Last time my GF was pregnant and I was applying for ANYTHING..... and I was getting refusals for the most trivial jobs such as cleaning, office temp....

Despite this when I did get a job it was in my field and well paid!
That didn't work out (I got promoted without a salary increase 2 years in a go from a company that could easily afford to pay more) so I moved on... and get paid about 40% more in my new job.

Inbetween I felt like the OP's partner.... worthless and unable to get a job and giving up......

I will say as Sambucus Nigra said... he needs a CV for EVERY JOB he applies for. This applies even more to anyone who is otherwise OVERQUALIFIED.

A friend once have me really good advice, and that is not to be worried about refusals..... if you are then you may only apply for jobs you think you should/will get...instead think it's their loss...
Back in the day he said it was "the cost of a stamp" but today it's free for online application.

He needs to be applying for 20 jobs a week (treat it like a job) that are in his salary range..... (in addition to any temp jobs for JSA)
If he can't find 20 he's qualified for no matter! Apply ANYWAY ..... it helps with the practice.

He should talk to ex-colleages and get them to look at his CV.... often they will be able to add things....and perhaps bring some industry specific advice or even hear of openings!

abailey54

Sounds like a really tough time. It does sound to me like you're communicating with each other about your worries and personally I think that will prevent your situation from having a catestrophic impact on your relationship - just my opinion

We rarely go out for meals but what we've done to compensate is to cook a nice meal at home (or do one of those dine in for £10 thingies) and I get myself semi-dressed up, put make-up on, light candles - it's not the same but it's nice and it's inexpensive.

Have you had counselling for your bullying? It's hard work but definitely worth it - you should be able to get this for free if you look around

I hope that your OH finds the right job soon. I remember being unemployed for a year and being told I was overqualified for jobs - so frustrating when you just want to work. Hang in there!

ViolaLass

If your OH's CV makes him appear overqualified, he could always omit some of the higher qualifications. Yes, it's lying by omission but if the qualifications you leave in are true and you're capable and willing to do the job, I don't see the issue.

This assumes he's not applying for jobs where honesty is considered extremely important, like MI5. If it's just an office job, then not mentioning certain qualifications isn't really an issue.

Dunroamin

steve-L wrote: »

It seems a lot easier than it is! Especially when you are over qualified.
I was unemployed for 6 months...I have a lot of experience and when working earn well over 100k a year.(Its just not that MANY jobs doing what I get paid that for).... I have been turned down for so many jobs .... one was walking along a railway looking at the track..... they felt 'I wouldn't get along with the rest of the workers'..... Last time my GF was pregnant and I was applying for ANYTHING..... and I was getting refusals for the most trivial jobs such as cleaning, office temp....

I think that when you've had well paid jobs it's easy to come over as superior to others doing more basic work, as your description of cleaning and temping as "trivial" illustrates; this would explain the comment you received about fitting in.

There are people with PhDs working in care homes, retired managers on the tills at Tesco and city hotshots working as TAs in schools - you just have to have the right attitude and the willingness to adapt.

steve-L

Dunroamin wrote: »

I think that when you've had well paid jobs it's easy to come over as superior to others doing more basic work, as your description of cleaning and temping as "trivial" illustrates; this would explain the comment you received about fitting in.

There are people with PhDs working in care homes, retired managers on the tills at Tesco and city hotshots working as TAs in schools - you just have to have the right attitude and the willingness to adapt.

That wasn't either the description of the job or my feeling of it at the time.....

the problem is .....

If your OH's CV makes him appear overqualified, he could always omit some of the higher qualifications. Yes, it's lying by omission but if the qualifications you leave in are true and you're capable and willing to do the job, I don't see the issue.

It's not just higher qualifications but job history etc.
A lot of jobs actually want to know your last salary (probably not legal but I was asked in my present one and they find out when they get your P45 (+/-)

I had been abroad for years before coming back to the UK for a job that then didn't work out.... another giveaway.....

Even cleaning jobs want cleaning experience..... (or a foreign passport so they can fob you off with less than the minimum wage)

Other than making some experience up completely and out and out lying its hard to get around this....

One of the places told me I was too experienced was actually a job centre... the same people I had to take letters to as proof I was applying for 'suitable jobs'.