How to approach this

onlyroz

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity to me - he'll gain plenty of new experiences which he'll remember for the rest of his life. It'll also broaden his horizons and will look good to future employers. But it really should be his decision.

lika_86

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Sorry guys I know I'm not explaining myself very well (bit of an emotional week) so can't really explain myself.

I do understand its his decision but I can't help but feel that the extra costs involved (regardless of who finances it) don't justify the experience....I would have totally a different attitude if there was a qualification at the end of it

The other thing (in my mind at least!) against going is that if he did go then he would be coming back to do his 4th year practically on his own - apparently its very rare (I know!) that a student chooses to do this year abroad - and effectively would be studying with the next year's freshers (the final year of both the 3yr and 4th are the same)

But won't everyone else on the four year course be in the same position? Plus, from my experience, most of my friends stuck around in our university city for at least another year before people started to split up a bit.

meritaten

What does your son want to do?

poet123

If he knew about the year abroad and factored it into his decision to choose that course then he is not going to be happy if you try to dissuade him. And I am struggling to see why you would. It is not a question of an additional qualification but of life experience, that is a real added value, and if possible you should encourage rather than discourage him.

pleasedelete

He is an adult. Let him move on.

I have uni age children. I also remember being at uni.

It is his life. Let him live it. Let him make mistakes. Let him have adventures.

podperson

I understand under those circumstances that you might not consider there to be much benefit qualification-wise to the extra year but you say yourself that he wants to travel anyway. If he decided to take a year off after completing his qualification to travel then that would probably end up costing him more as I assume this oppportunity will include some help with accomodation and at least some support to help him when he's over there. If he's going to be travelling at some point anyway then maybe try and see this as a good first experience for him - the chance to be more independent, experience another culture etc while still having a bit of a safety net and some suppport in the form of the university over there.

I'm guessing he will be aware that he will be going back to a new class if most of his friends don't choose to go. That's his decision and may even help him as he'll get the chance to meet a whole new set of people while if he keeps in contact with his old friends then by the time he finishes the extra year then he may already have contacts in the 'industry' as they will have been in the working world for a year already.

mountainofdebt

lika_86 wrote: »

But won't everyone else on the four year course be in the same position? Plus, from my experience, most of my friends stuck around in our university city for at least another year before people started to split up a bit.

That's the whole point Lika....people who do the 4 yr course are the exception - 99.9% of the students who do the course, do the 3yr version (trust me to have the one of the 0.01% )

Meritaten, I know that he's keen to go but I think that's the traveller in him rather than him thinking logically (if that makes sense)

As I said its been an emotional week .....

shegirl

mountainofdebt wrote: »

That's the whole point Lika....people who do the 4 yr course are the exception - 99.9% of the students who do the course, do the 3yr version (trust me to have the one of the 0.01% )

Meritaten, I know that he's keen to go but I think that's the traveller in him rather than him thinking logically (if that makes sense)

As I said its been an emotional week .....

I'd say it's both. He's made a good decision in my eyes and the important thing is that it's HIS decision,not yours.

Gloomendoom

lika_86 wrote: »

Only sadly from the point of view that the emphasis now is on the additional stuff, so as a student I spent a lot of time doing things I wasn't that interested in to appear 'well-rounded' so I could tick off the requisite boxes on application forms - sport (Ski Club - tick), meaningless society (AIESEC - tick), position of responsibility (Union Committee - tick), travel/languages (semester abroad - tick), relevant work experience (tick) etc etc.

And it's becoming that now even to get into university school pupils need to do similar things, it only seeks to widen the gap between those who are able to afford opportunities and those who can't. It's no longer enough to be bright, able and interested, a meaningless list of interests (all quickly dropped) are needed.

I see what you mean. However, speaking from my own experience of interviews, spanning over 40 years, I'm not convinced that this is entirely a new phenomenon.

Savvy_Sue

You say it's been an emotional week. And you say he's in his first year. So I'd say, don't stress over it right now. I'd be astonished if he had to make his final decision about whether or not to go abroad for year 3 while he's still in year 1.

When you're not having such an emotional week, by all means talk to him about the disadvantages as you see them. Especially if he's a sociable chap, he may already have worked out that he'll spend his final year with a new group of peers.

BUT this has to be HIS decision, not yours.