What a mess:-(

loveasale

Yes I can do a ' bit on the side' but that's not nots going to clear my mortgage -
I used to work for myself mobile, but I found more people cutting back and not a great deal to made by it, so I went to work part time in salon ( regular wage ) and do a handful of friends / clients still at home, but that money covers things like school uniform and days out.:cool:

Spendless

I am really surprised at that. My mother is a hairdresser and has been one for over 50 years. Consequently over the years, I've known many hairdressers. My Mum is now mobile but has had shops in the past. Usually when people look to cut costs on their hairdressing bills they look to go to a mobile hairdresser rather than a shop, as a mobile is ususally cheaper, as they don't have the overheads that go with running a shop. You can certainly make money at it, if you put in the hours in addition to working in a shop. I remember one of my friends saving up £1,000s for a house deposit from her mobile customers, within about 6 months in addition to her working f-time in a salon. If it's not an option for you though, I don't see an alternative beyond looking for f-time work in whatever employment field you can find.

loveasale

Please , I hope I didn't come across as if I wasn't prepared to put hard work in, I will try and up the private clients , but it means building up a whole new clientele , and as petrol prices are at the highest it won't be easy.
I also hate all the worry of all the tax and NI , I'm not good at sort of thing!
I do not mean to come across negative

loveasale

morning all!
EX came round last night and saw kids, he then apologised for tis behaviour on Friday evening .
He blamed it on drinking ( he'd not drank for 3 months )
He said he didn't want to fall out with me , as we have no reason to be enemies .
He has now offered £400 per month for child maintenance .
He then started on a 'downer about work' and at point actually said his head was all over the place!
He gets flat keys on Friday , I said he I'd have a look about in loft for anything to help him out with, he seemed thankful .
I still think he has some sort of depression or the like . But I have to let go and let him find out for himself, or maybe I'm wrong and it is me who makes him unhappy
Still not sure what option re the mortgage to go down :money:

Brighton_belle

loveasale wrote: »

Still not sure what option re the mortgage to go down :money:

I highly recommend going to see an IFA (Independent Financial Advisor) - 1st appointments can be free. They will be able to go through your options for you based on your individual circs and income. They will have access to all the available mtg deals out there too rather than just though of one Building Society.
Scout around and see if you can get personal recommendation for one.

Glad things re a little better today. For the record, you haven't sounded remotely 'negative' - just a woman dealing with very difficult and distressing circs.

loveasale

Morning all.
A bit of a nothing day yesterday, did some house work and went into loft to find a few bits for EX when he gets his flat on Friday , kind (soft) of me I know but I feel although I want to scream at him that won't get me anywhere so it's best to be nice!

On the mortgage / house front I've been told the get it in my sole name and on repayment is not an option. I don't earn enough.
So that leaves me with either selling and renting.
Or the 3rd and I think the one ill go for is to stay put and keep mortgage on interest only i know like renting but cheaper! and try to save / stash as much cash as I can. I'm going to work out a target soon ( a realistic one ) and that way I have something to aim for !:cool:

HeadAboveWater

Good for you! You are best to have a goal/target. At least then you know what you're working towards.

And I like your attitude to your ex. As you say, there's no point in screaming so you may as well just get on with things and be civil!

loveasale

Morning!
Just a wee update on yesterday, EX popped in to see kids for a bit and sadly he's not getting his flat on Friday as he has fallen out with letting agents over the T & Cs ( mmmm! :mad: )
But some he knows from work has a friend who blah....blah....
We also has loads of leaks in conservatory roof, ( near the pile of stuff I was getting sorted for him ) I've been asking for weeks , no I've been asking for months for him to repair this, he said if dry Sunday hell come over and do it, I have decided if he doesn't do it on the next dry day that he's not working ill get someone in to do it ,
I know it will cost but sometimes you get what you pay for eh ?:o
As of yet I haven't spent any money this week, but today I need milk, so will have to part with some!

valk_scot

It's good if you can maintain an amicable relationship with him, it makes it a lot easier when it comes to seeing the kids, money, general mundane stuff.

If he mentions money for the kids again I'd press for more if I were you. How about asking that he contributes half towards one-off things like big school trips, school uniform, sports club subs?

It would be great if you can keep in touch with his parents too. I'm sure they'd be keen by the sound of it.

It does sound like this is going to be the best thing all round tbh, painful though it will be at first. You may find yourselves much better at being good friends than partners.

loveasale

Yes Val , I agree with your comments, he already has said he'd give £400 now , and go 1/2 way on things ( within reason)
Hi mum will be devastated , she loves me as the daughter she never had, and I'll always be that part of her life.
Boys are going there tonight after school for dinner as I'm working late,
Deep down in my heart I want scream and shout ,but , I know that will not get me anywhere, so I'm keeping quiet, putting a smile on, and the more I do that , I hope that one day the smile stays put and comes naturally