Family has owed me £1000s for almost 10 years - please help

27col

Putting the house up for sale, even if you didn't intend to go through with it, would probably tend to concentrate your daughter's mind as to your serious intent.

muney

27col wrote: »

Putting the house up for sale, even if you didn't intend to go through with it, would probably tend to concentrate your daughter's mind as to your serious intent.

I think you should keep opinions such as these to yourself. Putting your house of for sale can be quite expensive HIP reports etc, seems a quite expensive way to show your serious intent.

muney

27col wrote: »

Putting the house up for sale, even if you didn't intend to go through with it, would probably tend to concentrate your daughter's mind as to your serious intent.

I think you should keep opinions such as these to yourself. Putting your house of for sale can be quite expensive HIP reports etc, seems a quite expensive way to show your serious intent.

DCFC79

muney wrote: »

I think you should keep opinions such as these to yourself. Putting your house of for sale can be quite expensive HIP reports etc, seems a quite expensive way to show your serious intent.

muney wrote: »

I think you should keep opinions such as these to yourself. Putting your house of for sale can be quite expensive HIP reports etc, seems a quite expensive way to show your serious intent.

Bit of repetition here.

Dont tell me you forgot you made the reply @ 2.59 so you reposted again @ 3.56

Voyager2002

27col wrote: »

Putting the house up for sale, even if you didn't intend to go through with it, would probably tend to concentrate your daughter's mind as to your serious intent.

Tricky, since the house also belongs to the daughter. That sounds like a great way to upset the local estate agents by wasting their time.

In order for one owner to sell a house without the agreement of the other owner(s), a court order is required.

ellesbellesxxx

OP, I really feel for you. I have borrowed money from my parents in the past for a car, to pay off student loan etc but immediately set up a Standing Order, then paid off the balance when I sold my house. I would be mortified if it had got to the stage where they really needed it and I wasn't paying it back.
I think to be fair to all involved (You, your son and your daughter) you are doing the right thing, whatever route you go. If it hadn't been you bailing her out, she would have had to get a loan from elsewhere where they would not be so nice about getting their money plus substantially more interest back!
Good luck to you

Conrad

NeverEnough wrote: »

I would not want contact with a close family member who treated me like that anyway,

Good luck.

Me, I'd place my love for a child above anything else. Who gives a cr)p about a few thousand on thier death bed when reviewing thier life?

The UK market has typcially gifted people tens of thousands in free house price inflation. So much better off than most of the people in the world that sometimes we cannot see our good fortune. Money should never be a God or something to be valued abouv those we love.

Tell you love her, afterall one day in some lonely care home you just might find she repays you.......

Conrad

PoorCharleyBear wrote: »

Do be prepared to sever the relationship with your daughter.

.

Yup, you give birth to them, you nourish them, you care for them through long nights, you sit up and worry, you get them through school and then one day you abandon them over some money.:(

Love is not conditional.

Conrad

arcon5 wrote: »

it is her for treating you with such disregard after you generously bailed her out multiple times.

I'm sorry this is incredibly short sighted.
We are gifted the awesome opportunity of bringing another Human Being into this world, with unconditional love. Sometimes things don't go our way and we feel hurt, but we should never stoop so low as to be party to ending a relationship with a child no matter what they do. In fact to so do is the cowardly easy thing to do.

Far harder to take a swallow and decide no matter how badly your offspring treats you, your love will conquer.


We often read about old folk never visited in thier home / care home, well this thread is a hint at why that might be.

It's money !!!!!!! Did we really fight wars and come through all this just to bicker over money tickets?

Robisere

As a disabled dad and granddad, with a wonderful son, daughter and 4 smashing g-kids, I absolutely feel for you. I love my daughter to bits and my son is the most honest, reliable man I know: I always say that if he was not my son, he would make a great mate. Sounds as if your own son is like that.

I would be extremely upset to find that I had the treatment from one of them, that you have experienced and I could probably label your daughter with all the venom that some here have done. But I don't know her and I don't know her side of the story, so I will keep that to myself. As you say you were a single parent, that applies to both my kids so I know what you went through there. Thinking back, was there ever a time when you over compensated and maybe spoiled her, even a little? Perhaps she came to accept that mum would always be there, a bottomless purse.

If you decide to go down the legal route to reclaim what you can, there will be I fear a parting of te ways and much recrimination. Can you live with that? If so, as someone else has said, get access to the property with an agent and have a valuation made. Perhaps that will shake up your daughter and make her realise what she has done to you. Try then to make her sit down with you and face the truth about herself.

This is a really heartbreaking story, whatever you do there can be no winners here, I really feel the greatest of sympathy for you. I wish you all the luck in the world and i hope you can come out of this retaining a relationship with your daughter.