In despair, dont know what to do for my dog.

ANGLICANPAT

Sorry to hear you and your dog are having such an unhapppy time. Maybe money for vets isnt the first necessity. Have only scanned previous posts roughly, but didnt see any reference to exercise. Staffies are VERY keen on their exercise, could it be that your OH did the walking and now, with your pregnancy , you are unable to take her? Maybe she has 'cabin fever' and is off her head with boredom added to the stress of missing your OH and walks? It sounds to me as though taking the bounce out of her through exercise might be a help. Could you do an advert in the local shop for some kind person to give her a decent walk each day? That would be a cheap option to try before trying to rehome her.

Fire_Fox

I think you need to find out how to declare your ex as not living there and YOU change his address on stuff and YOU claim for housing and council tax benefit and tax credits anyway. Often the claim begins when you first apply, if they refuse you can appeal with new documentation. I am sure there is a way of doing this, you might need to post on the benefits board and spend an entire day on the telephone which I appreciate is a PITA.

Definitely try a DAP diffuser and ring as many small rescues as you can find to see if any can help with the dog given you are due any day. Could your ex take the dog? Is your dog getting plenty of walks?

rising_from_the_ashes

Whilst I agree with the exercise comments - please remember the OP is due to give birth tomorrow and will hardly be in any condition (either now or when the baby arrives) to be able to give a fully grown energetic Staffy the amount of exercise she needs and certainly doesn't appear to be in a situation where she can afford a dog walker or similar unfortunately.

Winter_Jasmine

Such a difficult situation and I really feel for you OP. It sounds to me (altough I'm no Caesar Milan!) that your dog is behaving this way because she's struggling to understand where your partner has gone. This is obviously compounded by the fact that you're far from your usual self so she will definitely by picking up on that. Rehoming her won't make things better for her but of course I understand that your situation is incredibly difficult and I am in no way judging you. Could you contact a local animal shelter/charity for advice? They will have a wealth of experience of doggie behavioural problems. They might also be able to help you out with a dog walking volunteer (I know my local has wanabe walkers queuing up to help out). This might help reduce her stress and give her some routine at such a 'messy' time - dogs love routine, it's how they know things are ok. So hope you find a happy solution lovely xx

krlyr

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

Whilst I agree with the exercise comments - please remember the OP is due to give birth tomorrow and will hardly be in any condition (either now or when the baby arrives) to be able to give a fully grown energetic Staffy the amount of exercise she needs and certainly doesn't appear to be in a situation where she can afford a dog walker or similar unfortunately.

It is a tough one. I'd recommend OP looks into alternative ways to entertain the dog if she can't manage to go out. I wonder if the brother would be able to help out though - OP doesn't say if he's near enough to pop over and walk the dog even if he can't take her in permanently, could be a temporary solution.
I think there are some charities that offer help with dogs for emergency situations too. The Cinnamon Trust is for the elderly but I'm sure there's one that covers a more broad range, but the name is escaping me. Will do some digging!

As said, I think I'd be looking at other ways to occupy/tire out the dog inside the house/garden. I'd invest in a couple of Kongs - could try an appeal on Freecycle, but make sure you get the correct size - too small can be a choking hazard, too large can mean the jaw could get stuck inside it. A cheaper alternative is the Busy Buddy Squirrels which are a very similar design. There's activity balls that dispense food too.
I would then start feeding the dog every meal in a Kong/food dispensor so meal times take some time and thought, rather than wolfing it out of a bowl in 10 seconds. Or when whether allows, scatter the meal in the grass if OP has a back garden, so the dog has to sniff out every biscuit. Kiki is a bit lazy for this but Casper will spend a good 20 mins sniffing out every last biscuit scattered around our garden!
Tough chews like pigs ears, pizzle sticks, oxtail, paddywack etc. can be good to entertain a dog, but if the budget doesn't allow for that, try local butchers - I've got quite a few freebie bones, e.g. knuckle bones, and you can just serve raw. Keeps my two entertained for absolutely ages and costs me nothing. Chewing and licking at bones will help relax a stressed dog, so an additional bonus there.

Training is also tiring and will help OP out big time. It'll build a bond, make for a better behaved dog, and hopefully help the dog settle down too. I'd go for practical stuff, such as an "On your bed" command to get the dog out from under your feet, a solid "leave it" for incase you drop things on the floor (heavily pregnant, I'm sure you can't rush to grab it, and with a baby in your arms it could be practical to buy yourself more time to pick it up too), a good "stay" for when you need her to sit/lay out of your way. http://www.youtube.com/kikopup and http://www.youtube.com/pamelamarxsen are fab channels to watch. To save on the cost of dog treats, you can use her regular food as treats too, I'd recommend mixing a handful of biscuits in with some smelly/tasty treats like little cubes of cheese, hotdogs, cooked chicken, ham, etc. - give them a good shake so the biscuits take up some of the flavours and become a bit higher value than plain biscuits.

I can totally understand if OP is too overwhelmed with everything to manage a toddler, a newborn AND an upset dog all on her own, but just thought I'd give some tips for now. Even if OP does decide to rehome, unfortunately with a Staffie it's unlikely a home or rescue space will come up instantly.

valk_scot

I think you have to have a straight talk with your ex, along the lines of he takes the dog or it goes to the rescue. In the meantime can you take it to your brother as arranged? My heart sinks at the thought of you coming home from the hospital with a newborn and two other small children to cope with on your own, let alone having to deal with a lively dog with behavioral problems. Yes I know it's not the dog's fault and you don't want this to happen but be realistic. You could have a c-section, you could get PND, you could get a really difficult baby and you're under an incedible amount of stress both financially and otherwise. You need to do what you can to lessen the stress on yourself otherwise you could end up falling to bits and then who would be looking after you and your kids?

As to your ex I'll sign up for the lynch mob right now. Is he refusing to change his address because he's leaving the door open, as were, in case he changes his mind and comes back? Do you want this? If you don't then start getting the paperwork etc sorted out asap, I'm absolutely sure you don't need his permission to do this but the paperwork will vary so get over to the benefits board asap and get the exact advice there. Even if you do get back together at some point in the future you still need money to live on now. Is he not contributing at all for his two-soon to be three kids? You need to start thinking about that too. Once you start working again you'll need cash for childcare and all the rest, best to have it organised sooner rather than later.

Finally (((hugs))), what a situation to be in and I wish I lived next door, I'd be round with a dog lead, cake and an instrument of torture for use on your ex. Best I can do though is to say stay strong, concentrate on the essentials and you'll get through this.

krlyr

These are the people I'm thinking of I think
http://www.papas.org.uk/

They do say "during illness" but might consider heavy pregnancy/a newborn enough to qualify for help. And the aims page says "Whatever health problem or situation you maybe encountering - Just ask PAPAS". Can't harm to ask, at least.