In despair, dont know what to do for my dog.

pinklemonade_3

Please dont judge me, I dont know what to do.
Im currently pregnant - due on Friday. My partner walked out on me last month, leaving me with nothing as he was the main earner, we have two other children. Im currently surviving on £135 ish per week maternity allowance as I was SE.

We/I have a dog 7 year old staffy, I adore her, but since he walked out she has become quite naughty. She wont listen to me, has snapped at me and started weeing everywhere at night time - except for when I sleep downstairs with her. Since she snapped at me I have lost all trust for her where my 3 year old is concerned.

I noticed yesterday she drank more than usual but she had also stolen leftovers from the kitchen so I assumed this was the reason why. I came downstairs this morning to three big puddles and two normal poops. (I went up at midnight and was down here at 6.30am.) She had also wee'd on the sofa and pulled all the clean washing off the maiden and pulled it all over the floor

I understand this means she could possibly be ill, but I just dont have any money spare for vet bills. I dont have anyone who could take her off my hands. My brother was down for looking after her while I go and have the baby but he lives in a flat.

It took me 45 minutes this morning to clean up all of her mess and I just cannot cope. I shut her in the kitchen and she has had the bin and emptied it everywhere.

I dont feel I can bring a newborn home to this anytime now. I just dont know what to do. I cant rehome her if she is ill and I cant afford to treat her.

I rang my vets who said it will cost £40 for consulting and then anything on top for meds and I just dont have it. They wont do a payment plan which I fully understand.

Please can anyone help me with some advice?

gettingready

1) Where is UK are you? There are cheaper vet options available but we need to know ehere you live

pinklemonade_3

Hi, Thanks

Im in Widnes, North West.

Im not claiming any housing benefit or council tax benefit as he wont change his address. I cant even start claim tax credits as they view him as still living here.

I have looked at charity options but didnt seem to be able to find anything I could use.

Raksha

Normally I'd say 100% vet visit to rule out physical causes. But to be honest, from what you've said, I'd put money on her not being 'ill' but feeling the disruption of your OH moving out and showing it in the only way she knows how.
While it means spending money, a DAP defuser *may* help - http://www.bestpet.co.uk/search?keywords=adaptil&gclid=CL_Fzr3VvLMCFanItAodyikA6g

Good luck with your new baby too.

gettingready

Sorry, no idea about North West..

Poor dog and poor you

krlyr

OK, first things first - no judging from me! Even the best laid plans can go to pot when your situation changes drastically, went through slightly similar myself when my parents split up. Fortunately it just meant delaying the scheduled spay for my dog at the time and cutting back on non-essential spends, but I can see how easily you can go from being comfortably able to afford a dog to finding it very difficult.

From a practical POV - see what help you're entitled in terms of help with vet fees. Off the top of my head there's at least 3 or 4 charities that will help with vet care, dependant on your situation. Some may require you to be on certain benefits, others will accept just low income. I'd advise getting your benefits situation sorted ASAP for your own benefit, but also for the dog's benefit - many of these charities will only ask for whatever donation you can afford so they're fantastic resources for people in your position.
Some of these threads may help - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/685417
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4181597
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4133751 (this is the most recent)
There's also the possibility of other vets accepting payment plans, or even local dog charities having some kind of fund you can apply for. If you can afford something towards vet bills, you could try finding a low-cost clinic, I use one for my two's vaccinations - I wouldn't use it day-to-day if I didn't have to but any vet care is better than none I suppose. The one I use is http://www.easipetcare.co.uk/ but there's a few around the country.

I would, however, bear in mind the impact your partner leaving you may have had on her - it may just be her struggling to adapt. I've also heard of numerous cases where pregnancy has caused behavioural changes in a dog. Unfortunately not something you can really plan for but with everything that's going on she just may need some time to adapt. If she'd stolen leftovers, the accidents may have been due to them upsetting her tum, so may be worth just closing monitoring her this week and seeing how she is. Dogs often toilet indoors when distressed, and Staffies are such devoted doggies that she may be missing your partner and feeding off your emotions too. Does she need to toilet a lot during the day? If she's fine in the day and it's only when she's left alone at night, I'd think it could possible be a behavioural issue rather than an illness (but might be worth ruling out a UTI/bladder infection)

I would put some management techniques into place ASAP. Can you move her bed into the kitchen and have her sleep there for now, will she settle in there? Saves you worrying about her trashing the place and makes it easier to clean up accidents. I would move the bin out of the kitchen completely - a bit inconvenient but you could always keep a carrierbag for your rubbish inside a kitchen cupboard or hung on a high hook/handle. Alternatively, if she won't settle at all on her own, is she crate trained? A crate near your bed might help her settle at night and you won't have to worry about her destroying the place (or the safety of your 3 year old if you're concerned about the dog being loose upstairs). It doesn't have to be permanent, I'd give her a week or two to settle and then slowly move the crate towards the bedroom door, then out on the hallway, then down the bottom of the stairs etc. until you get her sleeping back downstairs. If you don't have a crate, try Freecycle or Ebay/Gumtree/etc. Also another thing that may help is investing in a Kong - they're cheap on www.vetuk.co.uk but also look for the "Busy Buddy Squirrel" which is a cheaper version of it. You could save back some of her dinner and feed her as you go to bed, the idea being she gets positive associations with being left alone. I had to do this with my dog who was whining when we went up to bed after we'd moved house, so I smeared a Kong with cream cheese and kept back a little of her dinner to stuff in it, and every night we left her with that as we went to bed. Within a week the whining had stopped - it may take a little more time for your girly as her current behaviour seems a bit more severe. It may help to do a similar thing every single time you leave her alone. There's no rule to say a dog needs to have its meal in a bowl or all at once so one idea would be to put her daily rations into a bowl/jar/tub and every time you have to leave the room (e.g. nip to the loo), scatter a handful of her food. She'll soon learn to association the reward of food with you leaving her alone fora short period of time.

If she is stressed, she may benefit from some kind of calmative. There's lots on the market but if you are on a low budget then two cheap ideas to try - make your own 'pressure shirt', the idea is like swaddling a baby to calm it down. A cheap kids t-shirt (charity shop, friends who are getting rid of clothes, etc) that fits snuggly (but not too tight) around the chest/shoulders, and then tie a knot around the waist.
Also, porridge is supposed to have a calming effect, apparently! I heard someone recommend it as it's used for racing greyhounds to take the edge off them in the stressful environment pre-races. A bag of supermarket own brand porridge oats shouldn't cost a lot and you could give a handful alongside her daily meals. I would introduce it slowly and watch out for any signs that oats don't agree with her, but I've tried it with mine and had no problems (and I do think it helped a little with her anxiety)
I would consider keeping a houseline attached to her collar as well, to give you a bit more control - a houseline is a lightweight lead with no looped handle (so it can't catch on things), this way if she's not listening to you, you can grab the line and remove her from the situation if necessary, without feeling you have to grab her collar (which many dogs find quite intimidating and this can lead to snapping defensively). You could use an old lead and cut the loop open on the handle to use instead if you need to save the money. Babygates between rooms can help you limit where she has access to and whether she's around your 3 year old, and often crop up on Freecycle.

Ultimately, you're going to struggle to rehome a middle aged Staffie with behavioural and/or health issues, who you feel you cannot trust around children, that's being totally blunt. I wouldn't rule it out completely though and if you feel it's for the best, I would suggest you just try as many places as you can. Some rescues may not have physical space but may advertise the dog and offer rescue support/backup while you keep her in your own home. Some may be willing to let you "foster" her as such until she finds a home, and they may cover any vet bills necessary. I would try specific Staffie rescues, general dog rescues, etc. Try these websites to find rescues, or even post her up to rehome privately yourself.
http://www.dogpages.org.uk/forums
http://forum.dogrescueworld.co.uk
http://www.dogsey.com
http://www.unleashedforum.co.uk
http://www.staffierescue.co.uk

Staffie breed rescues
http://www.dogpages.org.uk/breeds3.htm

Rescues by area (North-West)
http://www.dogpages.org.uk/nth-west.htm

liz545

Do you have a friend or family member who may be able to take the dog in for a short while - just a couple of weeks while you have the baby and try and get settled? A new baby and the breakup of a relationship is a lot to cope with, so it's understandable that you might need some help.

It sounds to me like your dog's stressed and misbehaving because she's distressed that your partner's left. She won't always be like this, but for the time being it might be better for both of you if there's a calm environment she can stay in while you're in hospital. If you can afford it, a boarding kennel might even be a better option.

Sorry to hear you're going through this, sending positive thoughts your way.

krlyr

Another thing - what is she fed on? Two reasons really, firstly you may be able to cut costs a bit by changing to a more economical food. Supermarket foods may seem cheap, for example, but often work out more expensive as you have to feed more of it. There's some good budget foods available that don't compromise too much on quality, and often work out cheaper than "cheap" foods. Stuff like Skinners, Autarky, CSJ, etc. may be worth looking at.
Secondly, food can play a big role in behaviour and you may find she calms down on a different food. Bakers is well-known for causing hyper behaviour, but other foods can have other effects too.
And as a little sidenote, a more digestible food will result in less poo as well - which might help with the accidents indoors. Or at the very least, make them easier to clean up - a well-digested food results in much firmer poos.

pinklemonade_3

Thanks for all your kind advice. Im in tears reading this. I totally didnt see myself here a few months ago. Just taking it all in and seeing what I can do for her.
I have rang three vets this morning after speaking to my own. Two of them said it sounds more like a behaviour problem but couldnt help financially which I understand. Got to get my daughter to nursery so will be back shortly to read through again.
Many Thanks

peachyprice

How much does your ex love the dog? I know it's not ideal but if you tell him he either takes her or she goes to the shelter do you think he would take her?

He's left you holding the baby, quite literally, the least he can do is take care of the dog.

themull1

If it was me, and i am an animal lover, i would give her to a shelter. You can't really trust a dog like that with your kids.