Xmas Spending Arguements

moomoomama27

One year we splurged on the children. We spent over £200 each plus about £30 on stockings then bought a wii,fitness board and several games and extra controllers. This was the year it was all released so probably £400 spent in all as a family gift!

We realised our epic mistake at the time, and Later on! On Christmas day they actually asked to stop unwrapping gifts as they were bored!!!! 6 months later 4 games still wrapped!!!


Never again! We very quickly realised that it was OTT and was not teaching them anything!


Now we budget, spend no more than £200 a child including stockings, and as they are all getting older that really doesn't amount to a large quantity! It's worked well for the past few years, they are grateful and appreciative! We could afford more, much more, but choose not to. Each to their own, but you have to look at the impact spoiling can create!


I think the key is balance, and OP I think in your case a compromise between you and your partner? Maybe meet in the middle of your budgets? or buy educational or practical items with the excess budget you want to spend.

Toto

travelgran wrote: »

Looking at people who spend large amounts at Christmas I sometimes wonder how the grandparents, uncles, aunts and other family members feel. What do you give if everything the child wants is bought by the parents anyway. I wonder how the children react to more simple and less costly presents.

Well, here's the thing. My mum is dead and my brother's all live all over the UK and have their own families now. My husband's parents live in Canada and don't send gifts but rather put some money into a savings account they have for the kids. So, christmas and birthday gifts are from us, there is no extended family. I suppose that's why I feel I need to give them as much as I can afford at christmas, I'm making up for what my mum would have done had she lived to see them grow up.

lika_86

Toto wrote: »

Well, here's the thing. My mum is dead and my brother's all live all over the UK and have their own families now. My husband's parents live in Canada and don't send gifts but rather put some money into a savings account they have for the kids. So, christmas and birthday gifts are from us, there is no extended family. I suppose that's why I feel I need to give them as much as I can afford at christmas, I'm making up for what my mum would have done had she lived to see them grow up.

Similar in our family, my dad died when I was young and I think my mum's policy was that myself and my sister could have anything we wanted for birthdays and Christmas (within limits obviously and usually limited to one biggish present like a games console which was shared plus other presents, unfortunately I never did get a pony).

I would describe myself as spoiled, I have never wanted for anything in life (except that pony). But, I appreciate everything I've had and all the opportunities, I love and respect my family, have always worked and done well in school/university etc. Buying children expensive things at Christmas won't ruin them if you raise them right.

Plus, now I'm older and in a proper job it's payback time, it's my turn to start buying my mum the things that I know she wouldn't buy for herself but would like, this year so far it's been a trip to the Olympics for her, me and my sister and an ipad.

(I still don't have a pony though)

themull1

Toto wrote: »

Well, here's the thing. My mum is dead and my brother's all live all over the UK and have their own families now. My husband's parents live in Canada and don't send gifts but rather put some money into a savings account they have for the kids. So, christmas and birthday gifts are from us, there is no extended family. I suppose that's why I feel I need to give them as much as I can afford at christmas, I'm making up for what my mum would have done had she lived to see them grow up.

we dont have many relatives either, i like spoiling my kids at christmas.!! and i'm not ashamed in admitting it.!

ognum

I am all for people spending a lot at Christmas, many shops really on their Christmas trade to remain in buisness and this helps keep people employed.

money does make the world go round and I would never advocate people spending what they don't have but if you do have it go ahead spend it and keep others employed, redistribute the wealth!!!!

freyasmum

I've posted my current budget on here before, and it's not for the sake of rubbing my good fortune in other peoples' noses!

My personal take is that yes, my budget may be higher than some (and, equally, lower than quite a few as well!) but I do not spend what I don't have - if the money isn't in my account, then I won't have it. I'm not getting into debt, I'm not buying things for the sake of buying them - everything that I buy is chosen specifically because the recipient will adore it, not just through obligation - and I don't spend willy nilly throughout the year as a matter of course; rather, I rarely buy anything at all. Christmas is the time for new jammies, underwear, books, toys, anything at all that I know my daughter would like. Equally, I neither smoke nor drink so my disposable income would be much, much higher than someone on the same wage who goes out every single weekend! There are no pockets in a shroud and, if I want to enjoy my money then its noone elses business how I go about that

My budget for my parents and my nephews was £150 each and, let me tell you, I struggled to spend this! I ended up spending around £50 (though, with a 'worth' of around £100) on the boys and they got amazing presents.

However, I'm not part of a couple and I'm completely free to spend as I wish. If I were, then we'd have sat down together and decided on a budget and worked from there. I must admit though, that I can't resist picking up little things as I see them, and it's true what they say - the little things can add up to a LOT more than the big ones

It's not for us to judge you, OP. It's entirely your decision as to what you think best and, if you can afford it then it shouldn't be a problem normally but you do need to speak with your OH again and find out why he's adamant on the budget that he is.

Finally, I don't agree at all that children who receive lots of presents at Christmas will be spoilt little brats who never appreciate anything (my daughter is extremely thankful for everything she receives) and constantly want more, more, more but I completely and utterly agree that opening presents for the whole day is totally overwhelming for a child!

Dunroamin

Toto wrote: »

Well, here's the thing. My mum is dead and my brother's all live all over the UK and have their own families now. My husband's parents live in Canada and don't send gifts but rather put some money into a savings account they have for the kids. So, christmas and birthday gifts are from us, there is no extended family. I suppose that's why I feel I need to give them as much as I can afford at christmas, I'm making up for what my mum would have done had she lived to see them grow up.

Putting money in a savings account for them is still a present.

Toto

Dunroamin wrote: »

Putting money in a savings account for them is still a present.

Of course it is, I would never suggest otherwise. It's something we're delighted about and very thankful for. My point was that ours are the only gifts our kids get as physical presents to open.

Their savings accounts are never touched, those are for a time when they want to go to Uni or buy a house.