'supporting each other through really tough times'

tina_malteser

Morning All,
Some of you may Know my circumstances, So I thought i'd share with you..it's a bit light hearted to me now and easier as iv'e found it cathartic to speak about it on MSE OS:j
Mail just arrived (not male)
A letter for my DS to fill in reqiring him for Jury Service:rotfl::rotfl: REALLY!!!!!
Does nobody look before sending these letters
Have to go see his solicitor cause ive not a clue what to do and it says a £200 fine for non return:eek:

Uniscots97

Morning All, I need a serious rant. I hope thats ok?

First the good news, I start my job next wed. Just need to sort out how and when I'll get paid! The agency are away sorting that out now.

Now the bad stuff. OH is nightshift. He's been working as a temp at the same company for a year now. We discovered a while ago that whilst the permanent staff get £12 or more an hour, OH was getting £8 as a temp. The company he's working for has been paying lots of people off and firing people for various things (using their mobile whilst driving a works vehicle, scuff damage to a bumper of a works vehicle etc). Having been through various rounds of redundancy I know better than anyone the effects it can have on a workforce. OH has done nothing but moan about this job and how nasty some of the people are. I've tried explaining (from what he's told me) that this is people venting and looking out for themselves since there's redundancies but no he knows best. This is probably one of the better jobs OH has had (previously he worked in a chill, and lasted one day at a waste recycling plant where there was rats running about his feet), except he's now gone into moan mode.

I normally wake OH up about 7pm and take him to work at 9pm (he doesn't drive), I'd made his lunch for him to take to work (breaded chicken bites and mayo). I normally also make him a sandwich but he told me he threw the one I made the previous night away as the hot food was enough (I didn't say anything but wasn't happy as I'm still really trying to count the pennies). He then says 'oh we'll need to go to restaurant X on sat to celebrate your new job', I replied 'I thought you said you wanted to take me to the italian restaurant in the next town'? He replied 'I thought you were taking me, I'm skint'... I replied 'So am I till I actually get paid and even then I might still be skint depending on what bills need paid.' He says 'So we're not going then'? and I said 'No, we obviously can't afford it. I have some M&S vouchers. We can go get their dine in for 2 and I'll still have enough left over to get myself a new pair of jeans' and he replies 'Well I suppose that will have to do' ........ you can imagine how that made me feel


So I took him to work and came home to make his Valentines card. I needed a large surface to layout the card transfers so came through to our room and realised my card was tucked under my pillow. I texted him and said thank you, as it was a lovely surprise. He replied and said he was sorry he couldn't get me flowers but he's totally skint (which we both are). So I finished his card, I'd got him a chocolate 'i love u' coin, haribo hearts, kiss candy, 2 mini packets of love hearts in a muslin bag and a magazine on digital photography. In total it cost me £7. Not a lot but its been scrapped together from tarot money. I kept it a surprise for him coming home this morning.

Fast forward to this morning and my alarm goes off at about 7:40. I hit snooze and reached for my mobile to text OH good morning. I got a reply at 8am saying morning and asking if SS had left to pick him up. I assumed he had as I'd heard SS clattering about at about 7ish and turned over and went back to sleep. Turned out SS was in his bed. I knocked his door and got a very grumpy 'What'! and said to him it was 8am and he was late to pick his Dad up (OH finishes at 8am) and he replies 'Right' and so I go back to my bed and text OH and I can tell he's fuming.

OH finally gets home at 9am. He stopped at butchers to get some sausages and rolls (so much for him having no money, I have his bank card but I'll explain that in a minute). So he comes upstairs and he's in a foul mood. SS annoying him, work annoying him, and someone at his work he's ready to blow up with (fed up hearing it). Tried telling him its in his works interest to keep him on as he doesn't cost as much as the others and they don't need to pay him redundancy, pension or anything else the permanent staff get. So I give him his card and pressies and he puts them to one side and says he'll open them later. Nice eh? .... and he gets up off the bed and says he's off to make breakfast as he's hungry, then tells me he's starving and that the chicken bites I did for his lunch were horrible and he binned them (thats the polite version). I said it was the first time I'd bought them and if thats what he thought I wouldn't buy them again. He then moaned he didn't even have money on him to buy anything else. Told him I was going to grab a quick shower and would be out by time he came back upstairs, he said fine. It was only when he went downstairs I thought, where did he get the money from to buy breakfast? He borrowed £5 from me on tuesday, and as I said I have his bank card. So did he have money I don't know about it?


He came back upstairs and I was just coming out the bathroom and he says 'why did you go for a shower I was making you breakfast'....now I told him before he went downstairs. After breakfast I got a call confirming my start date and when I came off the phone he was really cold with me and said 'fed up of this s***, not being able to make plans.... guess that suits you though doesn't it'. Now I know what he means as we want to have our own child. SD put a spanner in the works for a few years with her antics and he doesn't have anything to do with her now, but its not my fault I've been made redundant twice and then got paid off just before christmas is it? I've just turned 37 and don't want to leave it much longer but it would have been very irresponsible to have a child and have no job. Well thats what I think. So by now he's in a right mood, and he starts staring at me eating my breakfast. Now he does this when he's in a bad mood usually with the person thats set it off, but as SS had gone to his bed I'm getting it in the neck! I asked him to stop staring at me (cold stare).


So I get ready and I come downstairs and OH is stretched out on the sofa and he's virtually asleep. I say to him to go up to bed and he says he wants to watch something thats just coming on. It starts and he starts snoring and he's sliding down the sofa. I say to him to go up to bed and he says 'I'm watching this', I reply 'you're not you're snoring, go to bed please'. This goes on for 45 mins. Finally he shouts at me that I'm a pain in the ***** and gets up. To let you understand when I've let him go to sleep on the sofa before he's moaned and said I should have woken him up. He stormed through to the kitchen to have a cigarette at the back door and has just stormed up the stairs. No kiss (which is what he normally does), no word, nothing

What a way to start valentines day, I feel like ripping up the card he gave me.

mardatha

Urgent bread question - I 've done the Delia basic white bread recipe, finished kneading and waiting for it to rise. Can I do bread without a tin? I wanted to do some rolls and a small loaf. Can I just make a round or bloomer shape and shove it in the oven??
Tina that shows how organised these people are eh

tina_malteser

mardatha wrote: »

Urgent bread question - I 've done the Delia basic white bread recipe, finished kneading and waiting for it to rise. Can I do bread without a tin? I wanted to do some rolls and a small loaf. Can I just make a round or bloomer shape and shove it in the oven??
Tina that shows how organised these people are eh

Yes you can, your rolls don't need as long though x

mardatha

Ok ta - it doesn't seem to be rising though, it's in front of the fire and I'm hovering over it like a new baby lol

SDG31000

Afternoon everyone xxx

unixgirluk have a huge hug from me. Eat the sweeties, turn the magazine into a paper mâche version of your DH and stick pins where appropriate.

Another HUGE hug for you katieowl.

I am still feeling bleugh, but I've managed to have a bath and shave my legs. I'm sure that fellow depression sufferers will know how difficult that can sometimes be. It must be Valentine's Day :rotfl:
There is a lemon cake in the oven for DH and a leg of lamb in the fridge for dinner. I have to make a carrot cake for work tomorrow but still haven't decided on the recipe.
My blood pressure is playing up. I just wish I knew why. Nothing has changed apart from the sinus infection I had last month. I have an appointment with the practice nurse on Monday so fingers crossed it is down by then.

Love and hugs to all xxxxx

elona

Tina

If solicitor will charge for advice then maybe just return the letter with a short note as to where your son is at present.

Hospital, work abroad, oil rig or whatever the relevant information is.

Or even simpler - "Return to sender - not at this address".

I do remember your posts and agree the timing is ironic.

unizgirl

I won't comment as I might put my foot in it but anyone telling me they had thrown away what I had made for them and almost gloating about their action would not get anything made again. At least not till a lot of apologising had taken place.

Was he always like this as it sounds very stressful to live with.

Uniscots97

SDG31000 wrote: »

Afternoon everyone xxx

unixgirluk have a huge hug from me. Eat the sweeties, turn the magazine into a paper mâche version of your DH and stick pins where appropriate.

Thanks SDG, you must have read my mind. I munched the Haribo.

fuddle

You can mar, I do cobbler loaves all the time (although not since I moved!) just seen Paul Hollywood has a new bread series and book coming out. I will be an avid viewer of that one.

Littlest DD's teacher caught me this morning. There's a mum whose car is off the road and has been walking that awful walk to school with her baby. I jumped at the chance of helping. Best thing is we now know that little DD's new friend only lives over the road. We had no idea!

Feeling smug as I put garlic in my stock. About to freeze the lot as DH has steak!!!! For tea for valentines we don't subscribe to it really but nice food is always welcome

Uniscots97

elona wrote: »

unizgirl

I won't comment as I might put my foot in it but anyone telling me they had thrown away what I had made for them and almost gloating about their action would not get anything made again. At least not till a lot of apologising had taken place.

Was he always like this as it sounds very stressful to live with.

You're not putting your foot in it, I appreciate you replying.

he doesn't handle stress well at all. Both his kids have stressed him out beyond belief. With his daughter it was so bad for years, that he cut her off. She didn't like it, because she lost 1) her audience and 2) someone to buy her whatever she wanted. His son although nowhere near as bad as his sister does all that bodybuilding rubbish and it affects his mood. OH and I want to have a child of our own (I've just turned 37) and I've been made redundant 3 times in 4 years. Twice last year. He's bitter that his ex (the kids mum) left him to solely bring up the kids, meaning he lost his job, his house, his car. She's now trying to contact SS. I've told him before that I can't handle things indefinitely, I get stressed too. But although he hears it I don't think he takes it in. He knows if either he or SS kicks off again they are both out of my life.