Forced out of joint tenancy property, domestic abuse

summerholiday

ref your receiving her communications - can you not just block her emails - check with your provider, and prefix her incoming messages with: STOP and forwards to 7726 on your mobile. The mobile company can then process the block. Good luck.

Also for your sanity have you thought about checking out male abuse groups in your area - just a thought. The next time she does anything call the police and go through with the report. Abusive partners will stop and stoop at nothing to bring you down - believe me.

zzzLazyDaisy

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Knee jerk reactions and not thinking before you act is part of what got you into the current mess! !!!!!! stop predetermining the outcome, stop judging and blaming everyone but yourself. You have not even properly read your AST, have not formally negotiated with your landlord, have not run an advanced search/ posted on the correct forums to get all your queries properly answered. You are spending more time whining about being abused than you are researching the legal position. Your partner clearly has mental health problems, you can walk away from a little money a lot easier than she can walk away from her issues.

Actually I don't agree that this post comes across as arrogant or insulting. Straightforward, yes. Blunt, yes. Exasperated and frustrated, yes.

I have to say that I share this frustration. OP you are not listening to the information/advice you are being given here, and are going off on irrelevant detours.

You were asked many posts back if there was a break clause in the agreement - a crucial point, yet you now say that you have not even checked.

The concept of 'joint and several liability' has been explained to you, yet you refer to paying 'half of her rent' and express hope that the landlord will not expect you to pay the full amount. WAKE UP! The LAW will hold you responsible unless and until you are able to exit the tenancy, which depends on the terms the legally binding contract that you have entered into. Yes,the landlord may have a heart, but you can't bank on it - it is the legal position that you should be concerned with. How the relationship came to breakdown and what has happened between you and your ex since then is irrelevant to the issues concerning the tenancy and the bank account.

If you wish to discuss your relationship issues, then you should go to the family and relationships board.

And as a Newbie, you would do well to remember that many long term posters are experts in the areas covered by the threads they post on, and that they freely give their time and knowledge.

Fire_Fox

mcdonger wrote: »

I was not expecting my ex-partner to take me for a ride. Despite all the information/background I gave in the initial post, the majority of the time with me she has been a nice person and happy to share responsibility and I did not see it getting to this point. Given that I have somewhere to live other than the house and she would need to find a flat, I felt it would be best to keep things civil and give her a reasonable timescale to sort out her living situation rather than me immediately contacting the landlord to request to exit the tenancy. I suppose this does make me a complete mug in light of everything that happened, but regardless of the past she still meant a great deal to me and I cared about what happened to her so I thought I would let her sort out the situation as I was led to believe she was wanting to leave the property as soon as possible and had already spoken to the agency & landlord.

What outcome am I predertiming here exactly and who am I judging and blaming everyone? Sorry but I do not think I should be blaming myself for the abusive actions of my partner. Yes, no doubt I could have done more about the situation from the start and it getting to this extent certainly is partly on me for not acting earlier. However, the situation has only developed to this extent within the last couple of days (particularly the financial situation which has only occured today). I had no intention of asking her to cover the damage she caused to my property until she attempted to get me to cover debts and charges she incurred.

Examples of predetermining, judging and blaming emboldened. I already gave you another possible solution if your landlord is uncooperative, you have the small claims court at your disposal to recover any losses you can prove. According to your OP you were also physical with your partner, you raised your voice and attempted to damage her property (restrained, winded, shouted yourself hoarse, threw her phone down the stairs). I am not suggesting you were anything like 50% at fault but I don't think it's right to paint yourself as completely the victim.

Nor do I think it's right to paint her as being simply a conniving greedy person, there are many aspects of your tale that indicate mental illness (eg. substance abuse, self harm, suicide attempt, promiscuity, abusive behaviour, possibly stealing). Reads to me that she has completely lost control - it's incredibly poor judgement for her to be abusive by e-mail when the police have previously been involved. None of that means you should tolerate the abuse nor continue to pay rent and bills for any longer than necessary. But try to feel pity rather than anger.

mcdonger wrote: »

From where I'm standing based on the various replies, it basically seems that she has me over a barrel. She has verbally & physically abused me (and still gives me verbal abuse on a daily basis), damaged my property, 'forced' me out of my home, used joint money for her own expenditure, gets half of her rent paid for her every month and my all I can do is close the joint account and hope the landlord isnt heartless enough to force me to continue paying for her for the next 7 months. Seems like shes come off pretty well from the whole situation; I wish I had pressed charges when the police asked me... Left feeling like I've been taken for a total mug and she's laughing all the way to the bank.

mcdonger

I still refer to it as paying half of her rent, because thats how it feels when I'm no longer living at the property whilst she is and is making no effort to look for anywhere else, because that is exactly how she seems to see it also (given she has told she will flat out refuse to provide a signature should it be required for ending the tenancy). Yes I am fully aware that is not how the law will see it because my name is jointly on the property holding me jointly and solely liable, and that is why I am still paying it. If I actually was paying half of the rent on a property in her sole name and not living there, you can be assured I would not be paying it as I would not, by law, have to and I would not be posting here about it.

I'm not banking on my landlord having a heart. I merely expressed my hope that he would not be the sort of person to flat out decline to accept the surrender on the basis of me being an easy target to chase up for all rental costs and damages for the next 7 months. Perhaps that came across as a judgemental, but that wasnt my intention, I'd like to think that if roles were reversed I'd certainly put the individuals first and I certainly do not expect him to be out of pocket because of this - I'm happy enough to pay relisting fees or something like a 'one off' cost for exiting early. However, I'm fully aware that if he does not want to accept the notice that I wish to terminate the tenancy (which he has every right not to), that I will have to continue footing the bill until it expires.

I understand that people are posting here out of their own free time, but to me the tone to his post is quite uncalled for. Perhaps thats just how I've read it, but there was no need for swearing and accusing me of judging and blaming everyone else for the situation.

I have already said previously that I will update with any break clauses that are in the tenancy agreement once I have access to it, which I will not for several hours to come yet.


Edited due to other posts while typing:

I do also know I'm not completey innocent in all of this, I could have behaved in a better fashion myself; albeit after being awake for 23 hours straight and being harassed and shouted at for 4 of those straight and other solution to the problem eludes me when she starts damaging my property. I regret sinking to her level with her phone, but when I am being assaulted, I saw no other but to attempt to restrain her from causing me harm (note this was only holding her arms so she couldnt hit me). I tried removing myself from the situation for the hours before hand and tried leaving the room during. I had to get away from her long enough to be able to phone the police, which was difficult when she had me pinned to the floor with her elbow on my throat and her knee.. in a very sensitive spot.

I felt mostly pity and sorrow for her for several months towards the end of our relationship and that by and large the only reason that I remained with her following the incident that occured on holiday and why I did not wish to lodge any complaint with the police when asked. Even throughout most of this (from when the police were first called and I moved out) all I felt for her was care and sorrow and that seems to be why the situation has ended up like this, because I've had faith in her sorting things out in a timely fashion and acting responsibly. I've spent many an evening crying myself to sleep at night following the events of the past month, but recent events have helped in that I now feel only annoyance for how she is behaving towards me and the whole situation and it has focused me on getting it resolved myself. I suppose some of this is coming through in my posts and affecting how I am phrasing things, so I'm sorry for any misunderstandings.

I am sorry if I have not phrased my posts in the best fashion and please be assured I mean no offense to anyone posting on this board and I do appreciate the advise & help given.

mrginge

If i were you i'd be offering whatever the landlord wants to extricate yourself from this situation. Even if he agrees to terminate early, if she doesn't leave he's still got to evict her.
You could offer that if he agrees to terminate, you will pay any eviction costs and also then move back in as a sole tennant. This might be costly, but you need to give the ll a reason to cooperate.
If he can see that by not agreeing he could end up with some serious damage and hassle in trying to recover that cost then he may be more accomodating.

Ulfar

Be aware that as soon as you notify the bank they may put a stop on the joint account, they do this where there are relationship problems. This may instigate a negative response from your ex. Also if wages or any other money is paid into the account after this the bank will use that money to bring the account into credit.

When you notify them you will need to open a bank account in your own name and transfer your direct debits.

As far as the rent your are both liable for the FULL rent as others have stated, she doesn't pay any then they will chase you for the full payment as well.

This is going to be messy but can be resolved even if your ex is awkward. Yes it is going to cost you some money.

If you have moved out while you still have a contract together for rent you can sever any other contracts for utilities, council tax, etc.

Kynthia

Technically all tenants are required to end a tenancy during the fixed term. Once a fixed term has ended and a statutory periodic tenancy has begun it only takes one of the tenants to end the tenancy. I'm not sure how you will be able to end the tenancy using a break clause if one exists.

If you do end up having to pay the rent for the remainder of the fixed term make sure you get all your paperwork together. Gather evidence that you have paid for all the rent, that she is living there or preventing the end of the tenancy, that she used to pay half and that was your agreement. This will help you take her to small claims court afterwards for half the rent.

mcdonger

Sorry for the late post. I have now had chance to go through the AST and have pulled out parts that I think are relevant, hopefully this covers any questions asked.

There are various clauses listed, which includes the following that I feel my ex-partner may breach (I have paraphrased the lengthier ones to make it a little easier to read on here, I can post the full quote if required):

• The Tenant is expected to keep the interior in the same state of repair, order, condition & cleanliness as at the commencement of the tenancy and where the Tenant has invited guests or visitors, are responsible for any damage caused.
  
• To use the property only as a single private residence for the occupation of the Tenant
  
• Not to use the property, or knowingly allow it to be used, for illegal or immoral purposes and that includes the use of any illegal drugs which are or become prohibited.
  
• Not to do anything at the property which is a nuisance, annoyance or may be considered anti-social behavior, including making any unreasonable noise.
  
• Not to sublet, take in lodgers or paying guests without prior consent of the Landlord or his Agent.
  
• Not to smoke or allow any invited guests or visitors to smoke in any part of the property

I am unable to find a section called 'break clauses', although I have found a section covering the surrender of the tenancy by the tenant which contains points stating:

• Strictly with the Landlord or his Agents prior consent and subject to certain conditions that may include the Landlords reasonable costs associated with the re-letting of the property, the Tenant may be allowed to surrender or give up this tenancy before it could otherwise be lawfully ended.
  
• If at any time during the said term the Tenant shall die or become incapacitated with the result that he can no longer reside in the property, the Tenant or his personal representative shall have the right to terminate the tenancy hereby created by giving to the Landlord or his Agent not less than one months notice in writing.

I also found a section entitled 'Forfeiture - Right of Re-Entry' which contains clauses whereby the landlord may start legal proceedings for eviction, stating the following:

• That the Tenant has broken one or more of his obligations under the tenancy agreement
  
• That the condition of the property or the common parts has deteriorated because of the behavior of the Tenant or any other person living there
  
• That the tenant or someone living or visiting the property has been guilty of conduct which is, or is likely to cause, a nuisance or annoyance to neighbors; or that a resident or guest at the property has been convicted of using the property, or allowing it to be used, for immoral or illegal purposes; or has committed an arrestable offence on or in the locality of the property.

Like I said, these are the parts that I believe are relevant to the situation and I can post any further information required, although the remainder all seems to cover non-payment of the rent. Hopefully this all makes more sense to you than it does to me and will be able to offer any tips on what would apply to this situation. It is my intention to visit the agents & landlord tomorrow to discuss the situation although I would feel best doing so already having an idea as to what would apply in this situation.

I'm sorry my posts are so long, I get a little carried away with them I think. Thank you for taking the time to read and assist in any way.

mrginge

Most of the forfeiture section looks unenforceable to me.
The relevant bit is that you MAY be able to terminate early. Personally i doubt the ll will agree, and i am certain he wont if you go in with a confrontational attitude waving the contract about.
Have you actually spoken to the ll yet?

Fire_Fox

Limit your concerns to the ones you can prove or you will come over as vindictive or libellous/ slanderous. Overnight guests are not tenants or lodger or residents. Unless you have proof there is money changing hands or the individual has redirected his mail he remains a guest. The landlord can only evict through the courts during the fixed term for major not minor breaches.

Don't discuss WRITE to the landlord asking to surrender and citing all the breaches that are of concern to you. I think there is a great danger you will allow your emotions to get the better of you in a face to face discussion, say things you really should not. This is a business transaction - there is a contract, it is being breached, you want out and are willing to pay the landlord's reasonable costs. DO NOT discuss your partner's medical issues, so severely limit what you say about her behaviour towards herself and you, focussing on her behaviour in relation to the property. For example drinking alcohol is not relevant because it is legal, illegal drugs are relevant because they are a breach of the AST.