Moving on - right but so difficult

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Move out, block all phone numbers from him, his family, his friends, block all the facebook accounts - delete yours, create a new one and chose who to add to a new, private account if necessary.

You will most likely be the next story of a nutter girlfriend he uses to justify his behaviour to the next mug. It doesn't matter - it's better than you being the mug girlfriend. He won't give you an explanation - he might chuck a few excuses your way, most likely blame you for it all, that your suspicion made him do it. Who cares?

BLOCK THEM ALL and then get on with being happy without the lot of them.

Lifeupsidedown

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Move out, block all phone numbers from him, his family, his friends, block all the facebook accounts - delete yours, create a new one and chose who to add to a new, private account if necessary.

You will most likely be the next story of a nutter girlfriend he uses to justify his behaviour to the next mug. It doesn't matter - it's better than you being the mug girlfriend. He won't give you an explanation - he might chuck a few excuses your way, most likely blame you for it all, that your suspicion made him do it. Who cares?

BLOCK THEM ALL and then get on with being happy without the lot of them.

Do you think I should tell them about him before I do block them all?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Lifeupsidedown wrote: »

Do you think I should tell them about him before I do block them all?

Who cares?



They won't suddenly take your side.

Just block and move on. It'll be all the more annoying to him because he can't explain it convincingly and can't put it back on to you as all being your fault - he won't tell you now because he needs the time to plan how he is going to paint it all as entirely innocent, get someone else in to back him up, and work out exactly what he can say to hurt you the most.


You Are Better Off Out Of It.

Fire_Fox

Lifeupsidedown wrote: »

Do you think I should tell them about him before I do block them all?

Why waste your time? It will make you look like a vindictive witch or a sad case who can't let go, could even be deemed as harassment or libel.

Lifeupsidedown

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Why waste your time? It will make you look like a vindictive witch or a sad case who can't let go, could even be deemed as harassment or libel.

I don't feel I can let go right now - I've supported him so much and done so much for him and it just seems unreal that his mum can be the way she was towards me (asked "do you know what you're doing to my family?"). Lol at that! I'm asking him for an explanation so that's annoying him for a few days? My mum has known about this for ages and has been crying down the phone asking me to leave, my sister has fallen out with me and yes, more fool me for taking this long to make a stand but asking me if I know what I've done to her family? What a JOKE! It just angers me so much she and he are getting away with this!

Lifeupsidedown

I've asked for the truth so many times and even a whole year ago, he lied to me when he could have and should have been entirely honest and let me go then! Instead, he explained everything away and lied about it all and wasted my time!

Tiglath

What would it take for you to feel there is a happy ending to this? What would be your ideal outcome?

Lifeupsidedown

Apology, from him and her. Acknowledgement that I've really tried my best to support him after the bereavement and that I didn't deserve this treatment.

System

Lifeupsidedown wrote: »

Apology, from him and her. Acknowledgement that I've really tried my best to support him after the bereavement and that I didn't deserve this treatment.

I hate to say it, but chances are that isn't going to happen.

Some times you have to just cut your losses and move on. Hell i'd have loved nothing more than apology from my ex for being a cheating !!!!!! and leaving me for someone else but in the end i was just happy to have him out of my life.

smartpicture

I don't understand what you're looking for - do you really expect him to say, okay, here's the explanation, I acted like a complete !!!!! because (a) it was fun for me and (b) I thought I could get away with it? Well he's not going to. Or do you think he's going to say, it's because you did or didn't do such-and-such, and if you'd only been different I wouldn't have been forced into shagging other women and lying to you. Well that one's quite likely, but how will it help? Are you going to immediately start doing or not doing so-and-so to get him back, or start defending yourself, or what? I can't see any outcome here involving further 'explanations' that is good for you.

Okay, it's not fair that everyone thinks it's your fault, but really - who is this 'everyone'? His family, his friends? Their job is to support him and be on his side, just like your family and friends will be on your side. You need to accept there is nothing you can (or should) do to try and prevent that, because the only person that hurts is you by dragging it all out and keeping those feelings of injustice going. Do what Jojo says, block them all, cut them out of your life, move on, start a new life where you don't have to listen to lies and unjust attacks on you because you choose to associate only with people who love and care for you in their actions, not just their words.