so mad with OH

Fire_Fox

If your son lives at home and is not paying much board he has plenty of money on JSA, tough if he cannot afford to go out with his mates. What lesson is he learning that he doesn't have to live on his income and doesn't have to get a job to have fun? How many jobs is he applying for each week AND how many CVs and covering letters is he sending out without jobs being advertised?

Sorry but I don't see how that is helping him, if he was living in his own home and could not manage on JSA that might be different, it really is not enough money to pay bills living alone and your son might actually need your help. If your partner wants to help why doesn't encourage your son to go to university or set up a savings account for the deposit on his first house?

cheepskate_2

O.P , for me the point wouldn't be technically the loan per say,

For me it would be..............On JSA, they give you limited money, which means you dont have enough to go out with working mates/ buy the best gear etc. Thus there is more incentive to go out and find a job. giving your child "extra" doesn't really give them any incentive.

If your child needs experience then i would be pushing for them to do voluntary work either in that field or any field.

Employers like to employ people who are in work(paid or unpaid) at the present time as it shows good work ethics

elisebutt65

How old is your son, & where abouts are you, in the uk?
We live in the midlands, which has one of the highest levels of unemployment in the under 25's.!

My 17yr old wanted to quit college last month, to which I said yes, if he could replace it with a job. Within a fortnight of signing up to the apprenticeship website, he had 3 interviews & 2 offers. He is now a level 2 retail apprentice at an independent electrical retailer in town and is living it! Got his first pay cheque after 2 weeks and has already worked out his budget to make it last until the end of the month. I have let him off rent until November though as a bonus for getting a job.!

He never had experience either, so perhaps if you sat down together at the pc, you could do the applications with him & do some interview training. I did a lot of that with my DS and he did say that he had an answer for everything when it came to the crunch & we also researched the companies together, so he could ask some meaningful questions.!

There are jobs out there, but you will all have to put the effort in to get him one. Maybe ask him to tone down the evenings out so you can work on his cv and stuff & he can go out as much as he likes when he's earning?

xcarlyx

Im a teenager and I HATE borrowing from people. I will never have a loan as I never want to get into debt. Sadly my other half always lends money off his grandad but I wish his grandad wouldn't give him the money to make him learn

If i was you I'd kick your other half out of bed for a week lol

Mojisola

What is your son contributing to the household? Would you feel better about it if he was doing the housework, cooking, washing, etc, for the extra money?

LannieDuck

What area of work is he looking for? Could he get some temp work while he job hunts?

(I realise that doesn't help with your direct question, but I think whether I would lend him money would depend on how hard he was actually trying to get a job.)

good_advice

Our adult daughter did this. I said no! so she then went to the bank of dad. Got £300 all together before I shouted louder. Has never paid it back, although we do ask every now and again!
Funny how they can afford to buy non essentials but conveniently forget to pay us back.

BitterAndTwisted

How much is your OH lending him, is a tally being kept of how much he owes, do you have a realistic expectation of ever seeing it again and where precisely are these loans being made from?

If it's your OH's money and not coming from your joint housekeeping and it can easily be afforded then I'd just take a step back and try to keep out of it. But in your place I would find it truly irksome that these loans are being made purely so he could go out with his pals. Borrowing a fiver now and then to fund his fares for interviews or something like that would be a different matter altogether.

Mara69

To be honest, I think you are being rather mean. JSA is really not much at all and if he is really trying to get a job then he must be feeling so low. My son is on JSA at the moment and always pays 50% to me, keeping the rest for himself. He rarely goes out with his mates, but I have offered to pay if he wants to. It's important that he keeps in touch with his friends and feels 'normal'.

What exactly do you want him to learn from having no money? If it is the value of money I think you're going about it in the wrong way.

Does your son do chores around the home? If not, perhaps he could earn a little extra in that respect. Again, my son does all the housework, walks the dogs etc so I don't begrudge giving him help now and again.

zaksmum

If he's having his JSA topped up all the time, where is his incentive to find work? He's not being helped at all here.

I know a young man, 22, who has his JSA all to himself and about £50 a week off his mum without dad knowing.

He was offered a job in McDonald's which he turned his nose up at.