so mad with OH

bright-lights

Sick of son asking to borrow money, I say no now but OH gives it to him. Son not working and job seekers does not last him, hench why he asks.

Son says he will pay it back but it is mounting up now.

I am fed up with my OH keep giving him money, his answer is well if I cant help him who can.

I agree with to a point but its getting beyond a joke this does not bother oh.

We are not talking now over this, and I really feel OH chooses son over me as he knows I dont want him to lend him money anymore.

I feel its got to the point where I just want to leave, am I being unreasonable.

flutterby_lil

Do you mean sick of your son asking to borrow money and your OH lend it to him? Your son cannot lend money!

PasturesNew

Your OH is right - if he can't help him who can.

Bottom line is .... is your son a complete waster, or is he just unlucky in not getting a job?

bright-lights

Yes thats what I ment.
Have changed it now lol.

apesxx

i was that teenager always borrowing from my dad, although my situation was somewhat different in that i worked and always paid my dad back on payday (unknown to me my dad used to just put the stack of money in his safe and then re lend it to me towards the end of the month ) and once i moved in with OH and had DD i just paid it off fully. Although my mum and dad didnt see half the money they lent my brother ever again.

i do agree with you a bit tho in that if maybe your OH didnt lend him as much money then he may be more likely to get a job to support himself, especially if he is borrowing money for things like cigs and nights out. Quite a bit of the money i racked up owing my dad was for bits for my car. I wouldnt have been able to afford to drive if it wasnt for the garage of daddy and with where they lived they preferred me driving rather than walking down a very deserted lane on dark nights.

bright-lights

Yes I agree to a point but where do you draw the line.
Well the way Im feeling at the minute I would say complete waster, but really just unlucky not to have a job.

System

I'd want to know what he's spending his money on (though i should imagine he doesnt get a lot on JSA), what he intends to spend it on and how hard he is looking for a job.

Thats probably why my kids dont ask me.:D

Tiddlywinks

Does you son live at home? Does he have to pay any housekeeping or does he live away and have to pay rent etc?

What does your son need the extra cash for?

if your OH wants to help your son then why do you find it such a problem? Are you having to go without because of it?

JSA for a young person does not go far... if you have the means to help then why not? Unless you feel your son is avoiding getting a job...

bright-lights

apesxx- To be fair he does pay some off every fortnight.
I just feel if OH keeps giving him he will never learn the value of money.
He is looking for work, problem being they always seem to be asking for experience.

bright-lights

judi- your lucky

I know what he spends it on.

bright-lights

tiddlywinks- Yes he lives at home.

the extra money is for going to town with mates.

He will never learn if he keeps getting help. No I dont go without.

I know it doesnt go far but you can make it last a bit longer if you try.

No I dont think hes avoid looking for a job.