Children's dad taking me to court

mrs_B_5

It may be worth talking to your local womens aid. You have mentioned in previous posts that you suffered abuse at the hands of your ex & they may be able to help you out from a legal point of view with support/assistance in court & throughout the process, irrelevant of the fact you aren't entitled to legal aid. HTH

lindsaygalaxy

He has already said before the he would be expecting half of the tax credits and child benefit and to pay no maintanance-my partner pays all his money to support us but because of how csa works his gf earns a very good wage and it doesn't get taken into consideration. Yes he already pays less as they take away money for the average amount of nights he has them. I just wet to see my daughter dance and he refused to let me see my son as its 'his day'. This is what I have to deal with. Everyone told me as time went by it Would get better, but it has got worse.

Fire_Fox

lindsaygalaxy wrote: »

Every time he has tried to change something and not got his own way I get bombarded with messages of insults, name calling and threats of taking the children away, followed by the threat of court.

So you have evidence? Be sure to communicate as much as you can by e-mail, text message if you absolutely have to and keep copies of ALL the abusive or threatening messages. If he telephones you and is even vaguely abusive, prepare a stock very polite statement to end the call and calmly put the phone down. Report him to the police for harassment, even if they seem disinterested give a statement and get a crime reference number, make them take copies of any texts or voicemails. So he wants to be charm personified in court, but stupid enough to leave evidence of his true manipulative and abusive ways, silly little boy!! :rotfl:

I honestly think you would benefit from some sort of talking therapy like CBT to change your thinking and responses to him. You are not a victim, you are not his victim any more. You have nothing to fear from court because you are a good mother and they are an impartial service. They have seen MANY charmers with personality disorders in their time. Court is only a threat if you let it be, you have nothing to hide, he certainly does. :A

dawn_rose

hiya only thing i can add (my friend having probs with her ex) she was told to log all relevent txts, convos as may be helpful to your case.

dawn_rose

i also had another friend whos ex dragged her through the court for access even tho he couldnt give a monkeys re his child and did it just for spite and control. My friend was scared as had to defend herself as couldnt afford legal fees and works so no legal aid... he never turned up in the end.

Savvy_Sue

lindsaygalaxy wrote: »

He was emotionaly and sometimes phyicaly abusive in our relationship. He rarely spent anytime with our daughter for the first 5 years of her life. He wont take her to any birthday parties or events if its 'his weekend'. My daughter is scared to ever say no to him incase he shouts or spends the day ignoring her. He is ok, I wouldn't put him in for father of the year, unless ofcourse it is one of his family events, at which time he always appears to be the most attentive dad. He is controlling (with the kids too) and puts himself first. For example, I suggested he changed the day in the week he has the kids as he wanted to take our DD to a club. He wouldnt be because it is one of his football nights.

If that is 'ok', I'd hate to see a bad father.

Mojisola wrote: »

Do you think that money is behind it? Does he think that if he gets 50/50 care, he won't have to pay you any money?

Or does he have in mind claiming the CB and getting money from you through the CSA?

Sounds plausible.